Something's been bugging me.
Two weeks back, I failed an Accounts test. Terribly, too. Mrs Chow, my Accounts teacher, called another girl and I up to her desk to have a talk. She urged me to drop Accounts. It didn't seem like she wanted me gone, but she just wanted me to have more time for other subjects, but I was insulted all the same.
She insisted that I drop, and she's been insisting for the past two weeks, though only twice, thrice at most. Today, she urged me to drop it again, after I told her I discovered I did total rubbish for my Capital Accounts. I realised my mistake on my own, she didn't mention anything before, but she urged me to drop Accounts again.
Once again, I stubbornly replied, "No."
She keeps asking why, and I can't answer her because I don't know why. I guess it's partially because I don't want to seem like someone who can't cope, even if I am that sort of person. I don't want to be looked down upon, like I'm someone who can't study or something. I know myself as someone who can.
The other part of the reason, I just don't know.
Maybe it's because I know that even if I drop Accounts and get extra time for my weaker subjects, I won't use that time because I simply have insufficient discipline. I know myself well enough to say that.
I may not love myself enough, but I've known myself for 16 years, my whole life. I know I don't have much self-discipline, and nobody can deny that I know myself best, and for the longest time.
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