"Moulin Rouge" is still one of the greatest films of all time. He's right, you know, when he says "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return".
Maybe I'll write my own story someday.
Meanwhile, I've been having great adventures. After my voice lesson that day, I set out for a 5-hour walk around the "rural" parts of Singapore, around Tanjong Katong, Marine Parade, Paya Lebar. I went to Gramercy music to pick up my ABRSM songbook first. Bloody hell, man, that thin book costs me $32+! Anyway, I'm glad I finally found it. It was sold out everywhere else.
After I bought my book, I walked around aimlessly, listening to all kinds of music on my player. I listened to Dutch singing, Italian singing, 17th century classical music, lute music, banjo music, and they all kept me going. 3 times, I gave up walking and wanted to take a bus to Parkway Parade, but just before the bus could arrive, I decided to walk again, so that was good. I realised I give up too easy, so I forced myself to keep going till I found Parkway Parade on my own, I trusted my instincts and kept walking. By the time I found it, I felt thinner, but happy.
It was good training for perseverance,discipline and determination that I so desperately need now that I'll be doing self-studying for my 3 subjects at 'O's. I shall go on more of these "aimless-walking" trips. I haven't been to Holland Village in a while, so maybe I'll go there next.
Recently, I've found myself feeling envious when I watch movies/shows of poor people and how they live. Take the "Little Rascals" for an example. They only have petty little problems to deal with every day, like how to get their dog back from the dog-catcher when they don't have any money. They live by coming up with creative stories to get food.
Other examples include "Mr. Bean" and "Joe Dirt".
I don't know why I should feel envious of them. After all, I live in a more-or-less comfortable flat, have more than enough food to eat, and have luxury items like the computer and a mobile phone and music player, not to mention that I have the money to pay for ridiculously-overpriced food in town when I'm out and hungry.
I wish I were poor. These people have much more excitement in their lives. Living in Singapore isn't as great as it seems. All the tourists that I speak to every day at my job in town tell me that it's a great place, a great country. Sunny and friendly, with all its luxuries, not many people begging on the streets, out in the cold.
When I look out my window, all I see is concrete. It seems frustrating to know that all the trees I see were deliberately planted, and everyone is packed into a multi-storey HDB flat made of concrete. It's caterpillar season, and I see masses of squashed caterpillars, lives brutally shortened by thousands of stomping feet.
There's no inspiration anywhere in this country. There are no lovely woods to walk through and see the sunlight shining through the canopy. There are no lovely streams to sit and write poetry by. There's no snow to throw and flop onto. All people talk about are money, sex and food. Conversations are filled with dirty jokes, numbers for 4-D and lottery, and the great chilli crabs and barbequed stingrays. It's so suffocating living in such a small, humid country with an ever-increasing population that's becoming more spoilt and stuck-up, obsessed with money and power. Once the casinos are up and operating, all Hell will break loose.
The auntie at work asks me why I don't want to stay in this country, but she speaks Mandarin, so I didn't bother trying to explain. Even in English, people don't understand it.
There's no doubt that I'll be out of here when the opportunity comes. I'm not looking for a famous and flashy lifestyle with all its comforts, I'm looking for a humble existence, close to nature and far away from all corruption. It seems easier to talk to animals than human beings nowadays.
I want to be a wanderer, unattached to anything. If I have a home I don't want it to be of concrete. Anything but concrete. Mud houses, leaf houses, dung houses, wood houses, don't you think they make life more interesting? You don't have to take the stairs or elevator down to the first floor.
Development is a curse, it's destroying the world, and not slowly either. It's crumbling before my very eyes, and people are losing compassion, love, faith. Maybe they'll become the kind of people who will fit a cold, developed and destroyed world.
To be honest, I think children are the ones who make the most sense anywhere. True, they may be naive, innocent and ignorant, but they're uncorrupted. They talk about beauty and life, and adults just laugh at them, telling them they talk nonsense. Well, no wonder! The adult's world is nothing but trash. The magazines with most copies sold are the gossip ones.
Elvis didn't start taking drugs for no reason, neither did Heath Ledger.
The adult's world is nothing but crap, and I hope I won't be a part of it for as long as I live. If I will be forced to, then I hope I'll be dead before that.
Gotta live poor, baby! Then life's an adventure!
No comments:
Post a Comment