Two days ago, I went to catch "2012" alone. It was awesome!
I didn't really think much of the touching speeches because they've been heard before. No, what I liked most about the movie was the adrenaline. It was so awesome, I can't even find another word for it. No, wait. Astonishing. Flabbergasting. Stupefying!
I might go watch it again.
I felt really depressed after the movie, though. I looked around me and talked to myself in my mind about how everything I see won't stay this way, not that I'm too upset about it. All I see is concrete.
Last night, my mind started racing the moment I turned out my bedside light. It suddenly struck me that I won't be able to study with the same voice teacher for the next ten years of my life, if I'm going overseas to study. It would be ridiculous to travel back often for lessons, and mighty pricey, too. No money for that. Now I see why the greatest singers are the ones who studied music in schools, they had no other distractions.Then, I realised that I probably won't have to worry about that because 2012 will be here in 3 years. I will be 21 then, in my last year of Poly, so I will still be here then.
So. I went on a major shopping trip on Saturday. I didn't even reach $100, but close enough, and that's major for me. Normally I can't even find that kind of money, but mom gave me some so she wouldn't have to go shopping with me. I can't say I didn't feel the least bit hurt, but it was a lot easier going shopping alone. I could go where I wanted, see what I wanted, stop whenever I wanted.
I finally bought a set of tinted charcoal pencils from Art Friend. Gosh, they're pricey, but they're going to last for quite some time. Been trying to get myself to draw some human portraits but haven't gotten round to it yet. The last one I did of Charlie Chaplin almost killed me.
I also bought a book, a night-mask and a CD. I've been wanting a night-mask so I can feel what it would be like to be blind, to open your eyes and still see darkness. Finally got Michael Buble's new CD, I think the title song is beautiful. The lyrics are so real, gentle. "Hold on" isn't bad either. I also think Michael Buble looks better clean-shaven.
I'm loving my cryptic language. My parents have seen me writing in it and they both got this puzzled expression, perhaps even with a hint of suspicion. I suppose they would try to crack it, I should have made cipher discs with a scattered alphabet. I will with the wooden ones.
Still, I can't help feeling insecure. Nothing's safe in this house, nothing's ever certain and I hate it. I can't stand that of every place in the world and universe, I choose to come back here at the end of every day. It has become part of me, programmed into my system under "comfort".
At least it's not the only thing under "comfort".
One day I'm going to get far, far away from here and never come back.
I didn't really think much of the touching speeches because they've been heard before. No, what I liked most about the movie was the adrenaline. It was so awesome, I can't even find another word for it. No, wait. Astonishing. Flabbergasting. Stupefying!
I might go watch it again.
I felt really depressed after the movie, though. I looked around me and talked to myself in my mind about how everything I see won't stay this way, not that I'm too upset about it. All I see is concrete.
Last night, my mind started racing the moment I turned out my bedside light. It suddenly struck me that I won't be able to study with the same voice teacher for the next ten years of my life, if I'm going overseas to study. It would be ridiculous to travel back often for lessons, and mighty pricey, too. No money for that. Now I see why the greatest singers are the ones who studied music in schools, they had no other distractions.Then, I realised that I probably won't have to worry about that because 2012 will be here in 3 years. I will be 21 then, in my last year of Poly, so I will still be here then.
So. I went on a major shopping trip on Saturday. I didn't even reach $100, but close enough, and that's major for me. Normally I can't even find that kind of money, but mom gave me some so she wouldn't have to go shopping with me. I can't say I didn't feel the least bit hurt, but it was a lot easier going shopping alone. I could go where I wanted, see what I wanted, stop whenever I wanted.
I finally bought a set of tinted charcoal pencils from Art Friend. Gosh, they're pricey, but they're going to last for quite some time. Been trying to get myself to draw some human portraits but haven't gotten round to it yet. The last one I did of Charlie Chaplin almost killed me.
I also bought a book, a night-mask and a CD. I've been wanting a night-mask so I can feel what it would be like to be blind, to open your eyes and still see darkness. Finally got Michael Buble's new CD, I think the title song is beautiful. The lyrics are so real, gentle. "Hold on" isn't bad either. I also think Michael Buble looks better clean-shaven.
I'm loving my cryptic language. My parents have seen me writing in it and they both got this puzzled expression, perhaps even with a hint of suspicion. I suppose they would try to crack it, I should have made cipher discs with a scattered alphabet. I will with the wooden ones.
Still, I can't help feeling insecure. Nothing's safe in this house, nothing's ever certain and I hate it. I can't stand that of every place in the world and universe, I choose to come back here at the end of every day. It has become part of me, programmed into my system under "comfort".
At least it's not the only thing under "comfort".
One day I'm going to get far, far away from here and never come back.
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