It has come to my stark realisation that I may not end up at the University of Edinburgh after all.
Last night, on my way home, I had a conversation with the taxi-driver about education standards, and I think it infiltrated into my sub-conscious mind. I dreamt about some upsetting things last night.
Early this morning, I awoke to look up admission criteria online. Strange that they consider students with a Poly GPA of 3.0-3.5, while they only take 'A' level students with about 6As or more. However, Trinity College, Dublin, has lower standards, and I actually don't mind going there, too. Of course, my aim will remain Edinburgh, but if something should happen and I don't make it there, I'll welcome Dublin with all my heart.
What worries me is that I'll feel some sort of guilt going overseas. I'm worried, I'm worried. Should 2012 really occur, that would save me a lot of trouble, a lot to think about.
I yearn to be there, far away from here, far, far away from all these people, and being able to lead a life that's mine, to go where I want, to visit Oscar Wilde's grave, to stay at Medical School to draw specimens in my sketchbook till I feel like going home.
It sounds selfish. I have someone else to think about, but I can't help yearning to be there. I hope he can come with me, so we can set out on this adventure together.
Dear God, please help me get past this semester and move on to the next. Now that I know what it's like and what to do, I think I'll do much better than I did. Please help me, God, please help me stay alive through this.
I yearn to be there.
No comments:
Post a Comment