WELL, WELL, WELL. Guess what!
Someone just stole our bike! LOL. I told Mom and Dad not to put it outside in the first place, but they insisted, saying there was "no space" for it in the house since they wanted new shoe racks. Tuh! Anyway, I was cruel enough to say "I told you so!"
Our door camera got it all on tape, only the quality is horrible and it captured nothing but blurred images of two Indian men cutting open the lock and stealing the bike. My parents are watching it over and over like it's the most exciting movie ever. I guess it's true that in their lives, exciting things rarely happen, so it's natural for them to make a big deal out of it.
I don't feel bad about our bike. It was really heavy and it was "gold", which is a horrible colour to pick. What were they thinking?! I didn't like to bring it around since it was heavy, and was embarrassed to be seen with the hideous "gold" colour, so I never used it much, and everyone else was too busy to use it. It was a shared bike.
If the guys who stole it are gonna use it more often and put it indoors and all that, I think the bike will have a better life with them.
Mom was all paranoid saying things like "Wah! These men are so dangerous, armed with a big lock-cutter you know! These are the "kind" who break into houses one!" and wants to report it to the police.
First of all, the police have better things to do, like to watch TV. The last time we visited the police post to report some guy, the police at the desk were fiddling with something, obviously bored to death. They took our evidence and said they would "be in touch". Secondly, anybody can buy a lock-cutter from any tool-shop. It doesn't even have to be a proper lock-cutter, even a pair of gardening shears would do.
As for the "kind", I think she just doesn't like people with coloured skin.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday, May 13th 2009
Stupid Youtube. I need help on my Vaccai Lesson IV and wanted to hear it on Youtube, but they had everything but Lesson IV! Am having problems with bars 4-6. Have played it countless times on the piano but still not sure if I can do it. Every time I try it without the piano, the tune goes all funny. I can't wait to graduate to the next lesson.
I read that about 3000 people die from malaria in Africa every day, and approximately, every 30 seconds, someone gets bitten by an infected mosquito. So, in a week, 21ooo people die of malaria in Africa alone.
Woooah! Here we are making a big fuss over Mas Selamat being captured, or some woman who died overseas.
Says a lot about our society, doesn't it?
Poor Africa. Due to the cripplingly large population that does not have enough food to eat or clean water to use, Africa is a target for all sorts of infectious and excruciating diseases like Ebola.
Ebola is actually quite fascinating, but the people infected really suffer. Basically, you start bleeding externally from many parts of your body, your blood vessels get cut so you get red-purple spots all over under your skin. You also get organ damage and they eventually turn into mush. There's diarrhea, vomiting of blood and nausea.
Singapore is wayyy too sheltered.
I read that about 3000 people die from malaria in Africa every day, and approximately, every 30 seconds, someone gets bitten by an infected mosquito. So, in a week, 21ooo people die of malaria in Africa alone.
Woooah! Here we are making a big fuss over Mas Selamat being captured, or some woman who died overseas.
Says a lot about our society, doesn't it?
Poor Africa. Due to the cripplingly large population that does not have enough food to eat or clean water to use, Africa is a target for all sorts of infectious and excruciating diseases like Ebola.
Ebola is actually quite fascinating, but the people infected really suffer. Basically, you start bleeding externally from many parts of your body, your blood vessels get cut so you get red-purple spots all over under your skin. You also get organ damage and they eventually turn into mush. There's diarrhea, vomiting of blood and nausea.
Singapore is wayyy too sheltered.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday, May 12th 2009
Could you die?!
I've been listening to my new Philippe Jaroussky CD on repeat, and haven't stopped except for the occasional breaks I take from my Math. Haven't gotten bored of it yet, nowhere near. It's like liquid chocolate, thick and heavenly, and even though you know you'll get sick from too much chocolate, you want to drown in it.
My favourite is still "A Chloris". Once I find a way to put the song on my blog, I'll put it up. I really want to know how he hits high notes so accurately and cleanly after a really big jump. Then again, he's been taking voice lessons since he was 18, and he's 30-31 now, so I have many years to perfect my singing and foreign languages!
I've been listening to my new Philippe Jaroussky CD on repeat, and haven't stopped except for the occasional breaks I take from my Math. Haven't gotten bored of it yet, nowhere near. It's like liquid chocolate, thick and heavenly, and even though you know you'll get sick from too much chocolate, you want to drown in it.
My favourite is still "A Chloris". Once I find a way to put the song on my blog, I'll put it up. I really want to know how he hits high notes so accurately and cleanly after a really big jump. Then again, he's been taking voice lessons since he was 18, and he's 30-31 now, so I have many years to perfect my singing and foreign languages!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Monday, May 11th 2009
The French are so passionate, I'm drowning in their love songs.
You wouldn't believe how excited I was to collect my CD today, I was hyperventilating. The nice man at the counter recognised me and complimented me on my hair.
After that, I went to Esplanade to do Math and borrow stuff. Borrowed Mozart and Latin American guitar music, as well as the videos of the "Little Rascals" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It truly was a rewarding day, another rewarding experience. I worked so hard for that CD, and I've truly earned it. Feels really good.
I've only had time to listen up to track 20 on "Opium", but it's lovely music. The name befits the music, it's very dreamy and light-headed, and the love songs are beautiful. I like the lyrics in "A Chloris" the most.
"S'il est vrai, Chloris, que tu m'aimes,
Mais j'entends, que tu m'aimes bien,
Je ne crois point que les rois memes
Aient un bonheur pareil au mien.
Que la mort serait importune
A venir changer ma fortune
Pour la felicite de cieux!
Tout ce qu'on dit de l'ambroisie
Ne touche point ma fantaisie
Au prix des graces de tes yeux."
"If it is true, Chloris, that you love me
(And I understand that you really do love me),
I do not believe that even kings
Could know such happiness as I do.
What a nuisance it would be
If death intervened to exchange my good fortune
With the joys of heaven!
All that they say about ambrosia
Does not fire my imagination
So much as the favour of your eyes."
You wouldn't believe how excited I was to collect my CD today, I was hyperventilating. The nice man at the counter recognised me and complimented me on my hair.
After that, I went to Esplanade to do Math and borrow stuff. Borrowed Mozart and Latin American guitar music, as well as the videos of the "Little Rascals" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It truly was a rewarding day, another rewarding experience. I worked so hard for that CD, and I've truly earned it. Feels really good.
I've only had time to listen up to track 20 on "Opium", but it's lovely music. The name befits the music, it's very dreamy and light-headed, and the love songs are beautiful. I like the lyrics in "A Chloris" the most.
"S'il est vrai, Chloris, que tu m'aimes,
Mais j'entends, que tu m'aimes bien,
Je ne crois point que les rois memes
Aient un bonheur pareil au mien.
Que la mort serait importune
A venir changer ma fortune
Pour la felicite de cieux!
Tout ce qu'on dit de l'ambroisie
Ne touche point ma fantaisie
Au prix des graces de tes yeux."
"If it is true, Chloris, that you love me
(And I understand that you really do love me),
I do not believe that even kings
Could know such happiness as I do.
What a nuisance it would be
If death intervened to exchange my good fortune
With the joys of heaven!
All that they say about ambrosia
Does not fire my imagination
So much as the favour of your eyes."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Sunday, May 10th 2009
Going to HMV to collect my CD tomorrow, I can't wait! I'll probably lose sleep tonight, but it doesn't matter. After that, I shall go over to library @ Esplanade to do Math and borrow videos and music. It'll be nice to get away from the house and its confinement.
T'was a very "Disney" day, watched two DVDs by Disney today. I was brought back to my childhood when I watched "My Boyfriend's Back" again. I first watched it when I was 4, but I didn't know the title, so I spent 11-12 years looking for the movie. Someone on Yahoo! Answers finally told me, and my sis ordered it from Amazon.com for my birthday. I remember singing the song "Hanging on for dear life" in the shower when I was 4. Lovely show, really. I love the song, too. It gives me strength.
The next one I saw was "Beauty and the Beast". Classic, but I never got to watch the movie until 2 years ago or so. Deprived childhood, I know, but it's okay, I think I turned out all right. T'was a long and very bumpy road, and once I pass Math and get into the course I want, I can finally say "I've made it".
Mother's Day today, so family and I went out to dinner at Westlake. Food wasn't fantastic, wonder why people like it? Spent half the day painting a shirt. This time, I painted the words "Never Say Die" on the front, and the picture of a battery on the back.
It would be a nice reminder myself that I shouldn't give up every time I look in the mirror (many times in a day!). It's pretty tough not to give up after 5 hours of Math a day, I tell you, so I think the shirt would help me get through Hell another time.
I'm halfway through already.
I've convinced myself that a kid who studied in the Normal (Acad) stream in secondary school and failed Math at 'O' levels (since Pri 2!) can get into one of the top courses in Polytechnics, and I'm doing my part in studying hard and keeping to my planned schedule.
Every time I work so hard and start to think that it won't pay off, something good miraculously happens to me, and it keeps me going. The last few times have been the arrival of CDs that I wanted, who knows what it may be next?
6 days.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
Saturday, May 9th 2009 (post 2)
WOO HOO!The nice man at HMV just called my house to tell me that my order is in! More than 2 weeks ago, I went to HMV to ask about PJ's new CD, "Opium". The French one. It wasn't in yet, but the nice man helped me place an order, and I thanked him again over the phone. Shall go to collect it over the next few days, I'm so excited! I must've done something right again, or maybe it's just the studying hard.
The last time my order came in was when I managed to resist hitting my idiotic supervisor.
It hasn't been a bad day, went out with V to Esplanade to study today. We knew the libraries were gonna be closed, but we didn't wanna stay home, so we decided to sit somewhere at Esplanade to study. I did Math, as usual. This week has been Hell, because I had to finish the chapter on Arithmetic, and I did! I'm proud of myself, and Math doesn't seem so tough anymore. It's do-able now, but I slogged away at Math for an average of 5 hours per day this week. Maybe that's why I got the CD! :D
Good, good Xiulin!
Saturday, May 9th 2009
"It Happened One Night" is one of my fav romantic comedies. I love the part when everybody starts dancing around in the bus, singing "The Man on the Flying Trapeze". I picked the picture above because it's hilarious, from a scene when they were trying to hitch-hike.
I realised that my idols have gone from young and vibrant to old and dead! I guess the people I idolise are still lovely in their own ways and qualities, but I feel that the dead ones are the greatest.There was Clay Aiken, then came Audrey Hepburn and Elvis Presley, then Bob Marley, Clark Gable and Bruce Lee. The last 5 people are dead, but they were some of the greatest people ever. Oh, yes, and not to forget Franco, who is probably still alive!
Friday, May 08, 2009
Friday, May 8th 2009
Woah, I'm SO frustrated right now!
I just spent the last hour trying to get the song on my blog to auto-play. I pain-stakingly copied and pasted the auto-play code in the embed code many times. Alas, it didn't pay off. It won't budge, so I guess you guys will have to click on the "play" button till I find a way to make it auto-play. PLAY IT!
Uploaded another song. This one's by Bob Marley, "Redemption Song".
Finally talked to Sabby again, we didn't get to say goodbye. She's happy and doing well in China now, and still in a choir. I really miss her bimbotic-ness and the whole "Sabulous" concept, whenever the seniors gathered to sing, we always felt there was something missing. Sabby has a certain confidence and spirit about her that people like, and I hope to see her in Italy again!
Been opening up to people recently and finally talking to them. I kept my mouth tightly shut since 31st Jan 09 when the posting results came out, but I feel better about myself now. Never had guilty feelings about my results, so it's not bad, my conscience doesn't eat away at me because I got average results and failed Math.
I'm glad to know that a lot of people are headed for bright futures, though I never thought they'd end up where they are now. Some are doing business, music, art, sciences, and some are like me, just trying again, harder. It's great to hear that nobody is just going to give up and live their lives stuck in a dead-end job (never in Hell!). Our parents may not be very tactful, but being stubborn can be good sometimes.
I realised that a lot of people thought I was gonna end up in NAFA or Laselle doing music.
Mark my words- I'm going to end up where you least expect it!
I just spent the last hour trying to get the song on my blog to auto-play. I pain-stakingly copied and pasted the auto-play code in the embed code many times. Alas, it didn't pay off. It won't budge, so I guess you guys will have to click on the "play" button till I find a way to make it auto-play. PLAY IT!
Uploaded another song. This one's by Bob Marley, "Redemption Song".
Finally talked to Sabby again, we didn't get to say goodbye. She's happy and doing well in China now, and still in a choir. I really miss her bimbotic-ness and the whole "Sabulous" concept, whenever the seniors gathered to sing, we always felt there was something missing. Sabby has a certain confidence and spirit about her that people like, and I hope to see her in Italy again!
Been opening up to people recently and finally talking to them. I kept my mouth tightly shut since 31st Jan 09 when the posting results came out, but I feel better about myself now. Never had guilty feelings about my results, so it's not bad, my conscience doesn't eat away at me because I got average results and failed Math.
I'm glad to know that a lot of people are headed for bright futures, though I never thought they'd end up where they are now. Some are doing business, music, art, sciences, and some are like me, just trying again, harder. It's great to hear that nobody is just going to give up and live their lives stuck in a dead-end job (never in Hell!). Our parents may not be very tactful, but being stubborn can be good sometimes.
I realised that a lot of people thought I was gonna end up in NAFA or Laselle doing music.
Mark my words- I'm going to end up where you least expect it!
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Wednesday, May 6th 2009
Joe Dirt.Well, I went through 5 and a half hours of Math today. I had a splitting headache by the time I was through, and I was stoning involuntarily. The numbers almost blinded me.
My dad told me he saw my Math, and exclaimed about how easy it seemed, and then he scolded me because the textbook Math seemed easy to him. What the hell? This came from the guy who asked me how to spell "choice". I told him I don't know why it seems so easy.
Finished my drawing of the rabbit's skull after another several hours of toiling away, did the shading and all that. It looks nicer than the source! At least the hard work paid off. I hope the hard work for Math pays off.
It had better pay off.
Meanwhile, I've been watching episodes of "Merlin" on Hallmark, and though the music is cheesy, the show itself is pretty good. It has an attractive cast, and dare I say, lead actor. I like how Colin Morgan looks like a little boy in the role of Merlin. He's barely 23! I think he's cute, in a skinny puppy kind of way. Nice eyes.
"Merlin" is my weekly motivation to study. It's the reward I give myself when I finish my Math on time (2 exercises per day). An exercise sounds easy to do, wait till you try to dissect the bloody textbook. EVERY question has to be done, every answer has to be correct, and I have to do it again and again till I arrive at the correct answer. I bet the person who came up with Mathematics must've been cursed countless times.
The nice thing is that nobody is forcing me to do this. It's the revelation of something new: self-discipline! I guess I learned/gained a lot of that in choir under Mrs Low, and whaddayouknow, I'm applying it! My home-study schedule is a lot like going to school, only that it starts later. I reward myself with watching "The Nanny" or "Friends" or "The Simpsons", and the occasional "Merlin" on TV.
Of course, the biggest things that are driving me are the aim of getting into Med School, and Joe Dirt's optimism.
"Things are gonna happen for me, all's I gotta do is keep being a good person, no matter what, good things will come my way."
My dad told me he saw my Math, and exclaimed about how easy it seemed, and then he scolded me because the textbook Math seemed easy to him. What the hell? This came from the guy who asked me how to spell "choice". I told him I don't know why it seems so easy.
Finished my drawing of the rabbit's skull after another several hours of toiling away, did the shading and all that. It looks nicer than the source! At least the hard work paid off. I hope the hard work for Math pays off.
It had better pay off.
Meanwhile, I've been watching episodes of "Merlin" on Hallmark, and though the music is cheesy, the show itself is pretty good. It has an attractive cast, and dare I say, lead actor. I like how Colin Morgan looks like a little boy in the role of Merlin. He's barely 23! I think he's cute, in a skinny puppy kind of way. Nice eyes.
"Merlin" is my weekly motivation to study. It's the reward I give myself when I finish my Math on time (2 exercises per day). An exercise sounds easy to do, wait till you try to dissect the bloody textbook. EVERY question has to be done, every answer has to be correct, and I have to do it again and again till I arrive at the correct answer. I bet the person who came up with Mathematics must've been cursed countless times.
The nice thing is that nobody is forcing me to do this. It's the revelation of something new: self-discipline! I guess I learned/gained a lot of that in choir under Mrs Low, and whaddayouknow, I'm applying it! My home-study schedule is a lot like going to school, only that it starts later. I reward myself with watching "The Nanny" or "Friends" or "The Simpsons", and the occasional "Merlin" on TV.
Of course, the biggest things that are driving me are the aim of getting into Med School, and Joe Dirt's optimism.
"Things are gonna happen for me, all's I gotta do is keep being a good person, no matter what, good things will come my way."
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Tuesday, May 5th 2009
Spent more than 5 hours doing Math today. The first 4 hours were straight, then I took a break because my brain froze, then did the rest between shower and dinner so my hair would have sufficient time to dry off. I usually give it about 3 hours cos they're dreaded.
Stupid textbook exercises on Arithmetic, took me more than 5 hours to complete 2 exercises! I almost died!
Just finished sketching the outline of a rabbit skull, will put in details tomorrow. It was a little bit frustrating when I couldn't get the length of teeth right, but my frustration perfected it.
I've noticed that I suck at drawing anything besides inner anatomy. I can draw a heart, a foot, a hand, a muscle, a jaw. Even my brain drawing looked like a brain though it was missing a big chunk! I can draw anatomy as long as it's in the body, beneath the skin.
My architecture drawings aren't too bad, they look presentable though they're often miscalculated. I usually can't draw people, faces or animals, though I pulled off drawing a zebra with soft pastels.
Miscalculated, but pulled it off.
Ms Ho used to say I "like to make my life difficult", because somehow my Art brainstorming would lead to drawing ridiculously difficult things with a lot of detail. I can't help it if anatomy was created complicated!! I don't think she was joking when she said I "like to make my life difficult", but she helped me with my drawing details anyway.
Watched "Hannibal Rising" on DVD this morning, paid special attention to the art Hannibal pins on his bedroom walls. Damn, I wish I could draw like that! However, searched online on google and flickr for photos of human dissection, but didn't find any good enough to draw. Hannibal's were very, very detailed drawings, and the artist who sponsored the drawings for the movie either had a specimen in front of him, or has a very vivid imagination.
I love the one he did on the dissected human cheek.
I love the one he did on the dissected human cheek.
Monday, May 04, 2009
Monday, May 4th 2009
I can't believe I actually looked forward to researching on Sigmund Freud! Does that name sound familiar to you?
He was an Austrian genius who majored in 5 medical fields, Philosophy and Literature, but most known for psychoanalysis. Researching on him was so boring, because all they talked about were his theories, and then they put a picture of him posing with a cigar.
He's one smart guy, but too boring.
Now that I've read up on him, I know that there's really such a thing as studying too much.
By the way, I actually forced myself to finish the extra Math before I did research on him. I can't believe it! Oh, well, all in good time, I guess. My reward today is that Dad bought some Bostik white-tack so I could finally attach my Elvis poster to the ceiling of my bed.
Always nice to be reminded that the world's biggest superstars came from humble beginnings.
Did research on quotes this morning, those by Elvis P and Bob M. Elvis didn't really say much, I prefer reading books about his life. Bob, however, said a lot. I'll type out a few I found quite nice.
"Money can't buy life"
"When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open"
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds"
Hey, it doesn't take a genius to understand life.
He was an Austrian genius who majored in 5 medical fields, Philosophy and Literature, but most known for psychoanalysis. Researching on him was so boring, because all they talked about were his theories, and then they put a picture of him posing with a cigar.
He's one smart guy, but too boring.
Now that I've read up on him, I know that there's really such a thing as studying too much.
By the way, I actually forced myself to finish the extra Math before I did research on him. I can't believe it! Oh, well, all in good time, I guess. My reward today is that Dad bought some Bostik white-tack so I could finally attach my Elvis poster to the ceiling of my bed.
Always nice to be reminded that the world's biggest superstars came from humble beginnings.
Did research on quotes this morning, those by Elvis P and Bob M. Elvis didn't really say much, I prefer reading books about his life. Bob, however, said a lot. I'll type out a few I found quite nice.
"Money can't buy life"
"When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open"
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds"
Hey, it doesn't take a genius to understand life.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Sunday, May 3rd 2009
Today is "tribute to Bob Marley" day! I just feel like doing a post about him, came across his lovely grin on google.com last night. He had very chiselled, good looks.One day, I'm going to have hair like that, but it's going to take a while. When it gets longer, I shall have it tightened, then I shall make it flop forward like his!
Dreadlocks are the most difficult hairstyle to upkeep, I tell you. From experience, dreads are super high-maintenance. Before I got them re-done at Khao San, I had dreads for 2-3 months until I took them out 2 weeks before I went to Thailand.
V helped me start them with back-combing, twisting, palm-rolling and lotsa dread wax. The wax made a lot of lint stick to my dreads. If you've ever had dreads, you would know what I mean when I say it's almost impossible to pick foreign particles out of your dreads. Think about trying to retract a tiny piece of cloth lint out of a big, tightly tangled bunch of woolly string.
Getting them out was even worse. You know how human beings shed a lot of hair every day? Plus, the fact that I put wax into my hair and it got "absorbed" into the dreads? You get the picture.
Well, they're re-done nicely now, and I haven't put any wax or products in it yet, and I don't plan to. Dreads feel more lint-free without wax to stick to, can't wait for them to lock up again.
I wonder how Bob Marley managed his? He's blessed with strong Jamaican hair.
V helped me start them with back-combing, twisting, palm-rolling and lotsa dread wax. The wax made a lot of lint stick to my dreads. If you've ever had dreads, you would know what I mean when I say it's almost impossible to pick foreign particles out of your dreads. Think about trying to retract a tiny piece of cloth lint out of a big, tightly tangled bunch of woolly string.
Getting them out was even worse. You know how human beings shed a lot of hair every day? Plus, the fact that I put wax into my hair and it got "absorbed" into the dreads? You get the picture.
Well, they're re-done nicely now, and I haven't put any wax or products in it yet, and I don't plan to. Dreads feel more lint-free without wax to stick to, can't wait for them to lock up again.
I wonder how Bob Marley managed his? He's blessed with strong Jamaican hair.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Saturday, May 2nd 2009
Itching to blog.
Went for dinner with parents and brother just now, had fish steam boat at AMK ave 3. On the way there, we passed a lone man. It was getting dark, and the man settled down on the pavement at the carpark, and sat down on the concrete to have dinner. I thought about how my family and I were on our way to a meal that wasn't that cheap.
Went for dinner with parents and brother just now, had fish steam boat at AMK ave 3. On the way there, we passed a lone man. It was getting dark, and the man settled down on the pavement at the carpark, and sat down on the concrete to have dinner. I thought about how my family and I were on our way to a meal that wasn't that cheap.
I spent today out with Vanessa. Took a shower in the morning, washed my hair, did some Math and then got ready to meet V. It was funny, she got on the wrong 851, so we were in different buses, one in front of the other. We went to Bras Basah (sp?) to look for used textbooks for V, but couldn't find any. I ended up buying a "used" SS TYS for $1.80, unused. The previous owner must've either disliked SS to the core, or was a super-neat freak who didn't write anything on his/her books.
After, we wanted to go to the National Library, but the entrance was guarded by people who said we had to go through the inspection (because of swine flu outbreak), so we didn't bother. It looked like a long queue, so V and I sat on the steps and went through some Math questions I didn't understand.
Just realised that the way a kid who got A2 for Math does workings very differently from a kid who got E8, but I'll try to learn her way. As long as it's not totally complicated, I'm willing. Math doesn't seem as bad as it did when I first started revision at the beginning of Feb.
Once we finished the Math, we went to Bugis Street go pick up a couple of shirts for V, and I bought one for myself, too. It has a cute little sun on the front pocket, it's hilarious with my wild hair.
We decided last minute that we were going to watch a movie, so we picked "X-men", the one with Wolverine.
Mmmmm.
It was bloody cold in the cinema, even the chairs were freezing, but luckily we had our new shirts to cover ourselves with, so we survived. Movie wasn't too bad, there was a lot of skin and chest-baring. Isn't that great?
Everything that happened got me thinking at dinner. Would I be able to give up my mobile phone? It's a choice, nobody can make me give it up, it's the letting go I've always had a problem with. A mobile phone makes it more convenient for contact, but do I really want to stay in contact with other people?
Everytime I call/get a call from my parents, there's never a greeting from them, it's always more of a stern order without any manners.
Being uncontactable kind-of appeals to me, somehow. I don't ever need to hear from people, it's just want sometimes, but I can live without that want. I miss the old days when people had to write to one another and wait patiently for a reply.
Think "Love in the Time of Cholera".
Everytime I accidentally miss my parents' incessant phone calls, they threaten to take away my mobile phone, saying things like "If you don't pick up your calls, what's the use of having a hand-phone?"
However, they say that and threaten me knowing that I wouldn't give it up. What would happen if I willingly agreed to? Would they regret they ever threatened to take it away, knowing that it would be difficult to contact me?
I'll find out the next time they threaten to take it away.
I suddenly yearn for a lost identity. There's nothing much to keep me from losing this one. Sure, I've achieved some things in life, but there's also too much pain, different from the kind endured and felt by people who are starving or injured.
Strange thing, pain is. No matter how much food I eat or how much I injure myself, this pain can't be eased. Just so you know, I don't stuff myself with food or cut myself, it won't do very much.
I think Elvis felt this way once, it was his fame that killed him. His fans showered him with love and attention that slowly drove him into depression. He stood at the window, watching, while his friends went swimming at night.
After, we wanted to go to the National Library, but the entrance was guarded by people who said we had to go through the inspection (because of swine flu outbreak), so we didn't bother. It looked like a long queue, so V and I sat on the steps and went through some Math questions I didn't understand.
Just realised that the way a kid who got A2 for Math does workings very differently from a kid who got E8, but I'll try to learn her way. As long as it's not totally complicated, I'm willing. Math doesn't seem as bad as it did when I first started revision at the beginning of Feb.
Once we finished the Math, we went to Bugis Street go pick up a couple of shirts for V, and I bought one for myself, too. It has a cute little sun on the front pocket, it's hilarious with my wild hair.
We decided last minute that we were going to watch a movie, so we picked "X-men", the one with Wolverine.
Mmmmm.
It was bloody cold in the cinema, even the chairs were freezing, but luckily we had our new shirts to cover ourselves with, so we survived. Movie wasn't too bad, there was a lot of skin and chest-baring. Isn't that great?
Everything that happened got me thinking at dinner. Would I be able to give up my mobile phone? It's a choice, nobody can make me give it up, it's the letting go I've always had a problem with. A mobile phone makes it more convenient for contact, but do I really want to stay in contact with other people?
Everytime I call/get a call from my parents, there's never a greeting from them, it's always more of a stern order without any manners.
Being uncontactable kind-of appeals to me, somehow. I don't ever need to hear from people, it's just want sometimes, but I can live without that want. I miss the old days when people had to write to one another and wait patiently for a reply.
Think "Love in the Time of Cholera".
Everytime I accidentally miss my parents' incessant phone calls, they threaten to take away my mobile phone, saying things like "If you don't pick up your calls, what's the use of having a hand-phone?"
However, they say that and threaten me knowing that I wouldn't give it up. What would happen if I willingly agreed to? Would they regret they ever threatened to take it away, knowing that it would be difficult to contact me?
I'll find out the next time they threaten to take it away.
I suddenly yearn for a lost identity. There's nothing much to keep me from losing this one. Sure, I've achieved some things in life, but there's also too much pain, different from the kind endured and felt by people who are starving or injured.
Strange thing, pain is. No matter how much food I eat or how much I injure myself, this pain can't be eased. Just so you know, I don't stuff myself with food or cut myself, it won't do very much.
I think Elvis felt this way once, it was his fame that killed him. His fans showered him with love and attention that slowly drove him into depression. He stood at the window, watching, while his friends went swimming at night.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 30th 2009
I've just embedded another song on my blog, but somehow it only plays for 30-seconds, so I guess you'll just have to click on the link to listen to the whole thing. I just stumbled upon it as I was surfing imeem.com for Philippe Jaroussky. It sounds really delightful, like there's a celebration with people dancing around in medieval times, eating meat and drinking wine.
This is the kind of uplifting, positive-sounding music I need during these dark times.
Managed to study at home today, Dad went out to play Mahjong, so I had the house to myself the entire afternoon. The temptation to do nonsense was very great, but I forced myself to sit down to Math. The TV I got to watch after was well-deserved, I tell you. Those Math questions almost killed me!
Tomorrow's a public holiday, so everyone will be home, dammit. The libraries will be closed and I will die! There's nowhere I can study! Eateries are too noisy and distracting, home is.. the same as eateries.
It's strange to want to study. A year ago I hated Math like hell, now it isn't so bad, just a little frustrating when I can't get the right answer.
Chew told me that the kids in Biomed at SP all got 5-6 points at 'O' levels. How the heck am I supposed to get in, then?! My aim is only 10-11 points, from which I subtract the CCA bonus points (which, I hope, will still be valid next year when I apply). I'm working so hard for Biomed, I had better get in next year and go do all sorts on a well-deserved trip to Venice!
I will earn my trip to Venice.
In case you're wondering, "earn" doesn't only apply to money.
This is the kind of uplifting, positive-sounding music I need during these dark times.
Managed to study at home today, Dad went out to play Mahjong, so I had the house to myself the entire afternoon. The temptation to do nonsense was very great, but I forced myself to sit down to Math. The TV I got to watch after was well-deserved, I tell you. Those Math questions almost killed me!
Tomorrow's a public holiday, so everyone will be home, dammit. The libraries will be closed and I will die! There's nowhere I can study! Eateries are too noisy and distracting, home is.. the same as eateries.
It's strange to want to study. A year ago I hated Math like hell, now it isn't so bad, just a little frustrating when I can't get the right answer.
Chew told me that the kids in Biomed at SP all got 5-6 points at 'O' levels. How the heck am I supposed to get in, then?! My aim is only 10-11 points, from which I subtract the CCA bonus points (which, I hope, will still be valid next year when I apply). I'm working so hard for Biomed, I had better get in next year and go do all sorts on a well-deserved trip to Venice!
I will earn my trip to Venice.
In case you're wondering, "earn" doesn't only apply to money.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Wednesday, April 29th 2009
Hey guys!
Gonna do a quick blog entry before "The Simpsons" starts on Star World. Haven't touched the TV or computer in days, or even a week! Just got back from Bangkok, Thailand close to midnight yesterday. It was risky to go there so soon after the protests, but what the heck, if it's time to die, it's time to die.
I'm back, alive and well, so I guess it's not time to die yet!
Finally got my dreadlocks back again! I had them for a couple of months, then took them out on 7th April so they could.. recover before I went to Thailand to re-do them properly. They looked and felt pretty soft on 7th April, but only when I tried to take them out, I realised that they're the toughest things on earth! It took me about 3-4 hours to get them out completely, and not without pain, either!
Got them done in Thailand at Khao San road by some guy who looks like the Thai version of Bob Marley. His dreads were beautiful, but they were probably extensions. Anyway, it took about 3 hours to complete my head of dreadlocks, they're tighter than when V and I did them the first time.
Glad to have them back, my head felt so empty without them! Feels so good to have messy, expressive hair again. When I took them out on April 7th, I realised how crappy and over-grown my hair was. Thank goodness for dreadlocks.
Individuality, baby!
Gonna do a quick blog entry before "The Simpsons" starts on Star World. Haven't touched the TV or computer in days, or even a week! Just got back from Bangkok, Thailand close to midnight yesterday. It was risky to go there so soon after the protests, but what the heck, if it's time to die, it's time to die.
I'm back, alive and well, so I guess it's not time to die yet!
Finally got my dreadlocks back again! I had them for a couple of months, then took them out on 7th April so they could.. recover before I went to Thailand to re-do them properly. They looked and felt pretty soft on 7th April, but only when I tried to take them out, I realised that they're the toughest things on earth! It took me about 3-4 hours to get them out completely, and not without pain, either!
Got them done in Thailand at Khao San road by some guy who looks like the Thai version of Bob Marley. His dreads were beautiful, but they were probably extensions. Anyway, it took about 3 hours to complete my head of dreadlocks, they're tighter than when V and I did them the first time.
Glad to have them back, my head felt so empty without them! Feels so good to have messy, expressive hair again. When I took them out on April 7th, I realised how crappy and over-grown my hair was. Thank goodness for dreadlocks.
Individuality, baby!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday, April 17th 2009
Haaaaa..
Today, I just couldn't bring myself to do any Math. Been committing 3 straight hours a day for the past week, I think I've run out of steam and need to take a break. Almost went blind when I spent 3 hours drawing graphs yesterday! Stupid Distance-Time graphs.
Been painting a lot, too. Finished an acrylic-on-canvas piece in a day last week. I must admit, though, it was a pretty small canvas. I painted a lonely mime sitting on the antenna on the roof of someone's house, and I named him Monty. The painting I'm working on NOW, however, is about half my height, pretty big, though the size seems standard to avid painters. Just started working/experimenting with oils, and I think I'm doing quite well, since I've never used oils in painting before, and no-one taught me how. I'm convinced that if I can master oils, I can conquer anything!
It is both physically, mentally and psychologically demanding of the painter. Rendering the shades is difficult. What colour paints to use to blend into that exact tone, texture. Choosing which brush to use for each part of the painting, stupid shades just don't look realistic enough to suck you into that place and time of the scene.
By the way, the photo I'm painting is of a little cosy alley in Venice. The roads are canals, and there are the alleys! Ok, better just describe it as a cosy tuck-away corner.
Painting with oils is physically demanding, as you can stand over a tiny part of your painting for hours on end, just desperately trying to achieve the right shade, painting it over and over again, or fixing smudges or uneven lines. My neck has been pretty stiff recently.
I won't explain the psychological part. If you try painting, you'll find out.
I used to yearn for the kind of life the "Little Rascals" had. I still do, but this trying to spend time on those lonely, uncomfortably warm afternoons is not what I had in mind. Everyone I know is starting school next week, and I'm going nowhere. It seems pessimistic of me to put it this way. I probably will get what I want since I'm putting in effort for it, but the fact still remains that I won't be starting school next week, or attending any school this year.
My brain won't be totally idle, I'd still be practising Math 4-5 days a week for hours each time, and I have my music exam to work towards, and I have my drawings and paintings to do, and of course the Geography and Social Studies.
It's not so bad, only my dad doesn't believe I'm studying hard, and mom doesn't think I'll be able to achieve anything in life just because I don't have a tutor. I just don't get it. You'd think that I feel bad enough already, without them pushing and yelling at me all the time.
Basically, what I've been trying to do nowadays is stay away from them and their conversations. I switch off when they start steering the conversation in the direction of my current academic situation and how I "will never make it without a tutor".
I don't have anything to feel guilty about, I tried so hard for the exams, but I failed. There you go, so try again, harder this time. Not "you won't pass without a tutor", don't drill that into your kid. If their kid were a spineless idiot, maybe their insults would have caused suicide by now. Sometimes being stubborn can be a mighty good thing.
I think I'll stick to Joe Dirt's optimism on this one.
Today, I just couldn't bring myself to do any Math. Been committing 3 straight hours a day for the past week, I think I've run out of steam and need to take a break. Almost went blind when I spent 3 hours drawing graphs yesterday! Stupid Distance-Time graphs.
Been painting a lot, too. Finished an acrylic-on-canvas piece in a day last week. I must admit, though, it was a pretty small canvas. I painted a lonely mime sitting on the antenna on the roof of someone's house, and I named him Monty. The painting I'm working on NOW, however, is about half my height, pretty big, though the size seems standard to avid painters. Just started working/experimenting with oils, and I think I'm doing quite well, since I've never used oils in painting before, and no-one taught me how. I'm convinced that if I can master oils, I can conquer anything!
It is both physically, mentally and psychologically demanding of the painter. Rendering the shades is difficult. What colour paints to use to blend into that exact tone, texture. Choosing which brush to use for each part of the painting, stupid shades just don't look realistic enough to suck you into that place and time of the scene.
By the way, the photo I'm painting is of a little cosy alley in Venice. The roads are canals, and there are the alleys! Ok, better just describe it as a cosy tuck-away corner.
Painting with oils is physically demanding, as you can stand over a tiny part of your painting for hours on end, just desperately trying to achieve the right shade, painting it over and over again, or fixing smudges or uneven lines. My neck has been pretty stiff recently.
I won't explain the psychological part. If you try painting, you'll find out.
I used to yearn for the kind of life the "Little Rascals" had. I still do, but this trying to spend time on those lonely, uncomfortably warm afternoons is not what I had in mind. Everyone I know is starting school next week, and I'm going nowhere. It seems pessimistic of me to put it this way. I probably will get what I want since I'm putting in effort for it, but the fact still remains that I won't be starting school next week, or attending any school this year.
My brain won't be totally idle, I'd still be practising Math 4-5 days a week for hours each time, and I have my music exam to work towards, and I have my drawings and paintings to do, and of course the Geography and Social Studies.
It's not so bad, only my dad doesn't believe I'm studying hard, and mom doesn't think I'll be able to achieve anything in life just because I don't have a tutor. I just don't get it. You'd think that I feel bad enough already, without them pushing and yelling at me all the time.
Basically, what I've been trying to do nowadays is stay away from them and their conversations. I switch off when they start steering the conversation in the direction of my current academic situation and how I "will never make it without a tutor".
I don't have anything to feel guilty about, I tried so hard for the exams, but I failed. There you go, so try again, harder this time. Not "you won't pass without a tutor", don't drill that into your kid. If their kid were a spineless idiot, maybe their insults would have caused suicide by now. Sometimes being stubborn can be a mighty good thing.
I think I'll stick to Joe Dirt's optimism on this one.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Monday, April 13th 2009
I think my father is trying to work me to death. He said not only should I be studying in the afternoon, I have to study in the morning, too, and I cannot use the computer or TV.
This is ridiculous! Were I not defiant, I would've turned into a spineless idiot by now, listening to him all these years. He hated it when I kept my hair long, he hated it when I cut my hair short, he hated it when I got dreadlocks, he hated my primary school CCA, gymnastics, and made me quit in primary 2, he hated my secondary school CCA, choir, and tried to force me to quit in Sec 2. He used to call me an idiot when I didn't do well in Sec 2 until I yelled at him. He used to slap me when he lost his patience teaching me Math.
He's just this VERY unhappy person. If I didn't have my music, I would have died.
A little defiance never hurt anybody. It took me years and years to realise that I shouldn't listen to him, but it took me years to build up courage and determination, too. People can tell me what to do, but it's my choice to obey or not.
Am anticipating Philippe Jaroussky's "Opium". Since I'm rarely allowed out of the house now, I try to have my voice lessons in the morning, and then spend about 5 hours walking from place to place. It's amazing what you see in Singapore when you walk rather than take public/own transport.
So far, I've been on 2 major walking trips. The first was around Paya Lebar. Since I didn't have a map, I tried to use my human instincts to find Parkway Parade. Ha, ha, my human instincts brought me there after 3 hours of walking!
The second one was when I took the MRT to Buona Vista (Holland Village) from my voice lesson. Did I mention that Holland Village is such a charming place?! It started to pour heavily at Holland Village after 2 hours of walking, so I sought shelter in the supermarket and waited till the rain got lighter. I also ate laksa for lunch while waiting. Luckily, I was carrying an umbrella, so I headed out into the now lighter rain and walked aimlessly, hoping to find the MRT track. Once I found it, I tried to remember the direction I came from, and followed the MRT line to Queenstown station. From Buona Vista, on foot, it looked like a damn long way to go, and some paths were flooded, so my shoes got soaked through.
When I finally found Queenstown station, I looked at the bus-stop guides to see if any of the buses go to Queensway shopping centre, and where they stopped before that. I followed the route by spotting the factories, etc, and finally saw IKEA, the blue and yellow building. Since Queensway shopping centre was after IKEA, I knew I was almost there!
Then, of course, after shopping, I walked back to Queenstown MRT station and took the MRT home.
Tomorrow's my voice lesson, and I shall go to HMV to check out "Opium". I do feel depressed that everyone else is starting school orientation, but hey, with every setback, you learn something new about yourself, so heck.
I'm starting to like Math, but I really dread my parents hiring a tutor. ALL the past tutors I had were terrible. Most were doing it for the money, others just had no patience to deal with me. My grades never jumped with tutors, not even a bit.
It comes as no surprise that I can't stand tutors.
This is ridiculous! Were I not defiant, I would've turned into a spineless idiot by now, listening to him all these years. He hated it when I kept my hair long, he hated it when I cut my hair short, he hated it when I got dreadlocks, he hated my primary school CCA, gymnastics, and made me quit in primary 2, he hated my secondary school CCA, choir, and tried to force me to quit in Sec 2. He used to call me an idiot when I didn't do well in Sec 2 until I yelled at him. He used to slap me when he lost his patience teaching me Math.
He's just this VERY unhappy person. If I didn't have my music, I would have died.
A little defiance never hurt anybody. It took me years and years to realise that I shouldn't listen to him, but it took me years to build up courage and determination, too. People can tell me what to do, but it's my choice to obey or not.
Am anticipating Philippe Jaroussky's "Opium". Since I'm rarely allowed out of the house now, I try to have my voice lessons in the morning, and then spend about 5 hours walking from place to place. It's amazing what you see in Singapore when you walk rather than take public/own transport.
So far, I've been on 2 major walking trips. The first was around Paya Lebar. Since I didn't have a map, I tried to use my human instincts to find Parkway Parade. Ha, ha, my human instincts brought me there after 3 hours of walking!
The second one was when I took the MRT to Buona Vista (Holland Village) from my voice lesson. Did I mention that Holland Village is such a charming place?! It started to pour heavily at Holland Village after 2 hours of walking, so I sought shelter in the supermarket and waited till the rain got lighter. I also ate laksa for lunch while waiting. Luckily, I was carrying an umbrella, so I headed out into the now lighter rain and walked aimlessly, hoping to find the MRT track. Once I found it, I tried to remember the direction I came from, and followed the MRT line to Queenstown station. From Buona Vista, on foot, it looked like a damn long way to go, and some paths were flooded, so my shoes got soaked through.
When I finally found Queenstown station, I looked at the bus-stop guides to see if any of the buses go to Queensway shopping centre, and where they stopped before that. I followed the route by spotting the factories, etc, and finally saw IKEA, the blue and yellow building. Since Queensway shopping centre was after IKEA, I knew I was almost there!
Then, of course, after shopping, I walked back to Queenstown MRT station and took the MRT home.
Tomorrow's my voice lesson, and I shall go to HMV to check out "Opium". I do feel depressed that everyone else is starting school orientation, but hey, with every setback, you learn something new about yourself, so heck.
I'm starting to like Math, but I really dread my parents hiring a tutor. ALL the past tutors I had were terrible. Most were doing it for the money, others just had no patience to deal with me. My grades never jumped with tutors, not even a bit.
It comes as no surprise that I can't stand tutors.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Thursday, April 2nd 2009
I'm about to upload two of my current favourites from the CD "Mazarin". The music dates back to the 17th century, but I'm not quite sure what language it is. They're sung in Italian, but the titles are in Dutch, I think. Language not stated.
One is instrumental, and I love the building up of instruments at the beginning. They have different entries, one by one. It makes me think of skipping in fields covered with flowers.
The other piece is sung by Philippe Jaroussky (of course!), and it's about praising the Lord's name, that's why it sounds so happy. Very lovely, cheerful piece. I listen to it first thing in the morning while I'm still cosy under covers. Be sure to listen to them loud, because some parts are quite soft, especially the beginning of "For Bra for Att Vara Sant".
Can't wait for Jaroussky's next album, entitled "Opium". He's switched from Italian to French. After all, he is French, but I prefer him singing Italian, not quite sure why. Don't know if HMV has brought it in yet, will go down next week to check it out. Meanwhile, happy listening!
One is instrumental, and I love the building up of instruments at the beginning. They have different entries, one by one. It makes me think of skipping in fields covered with flowers.
The other piece is sung by Philippe Jaroussky (of course!), and it's about praising the Lord's name, that's why it sounds so happy. Very lovely, cheerful piece. I listen to it first thing in the morning while I'm still cosy under covers. Be sure to listen to them loud, because some parts are quite soft, especially the beginning of "For Bra for Att Vara Sant".
Can't wait for Jaroussky's next album, entitled "Opium". He's switched from Italian to French. After all, he is French, but I prefer him singing Italian, not quite sure why. Don't know if HMV has brought it in yet, will go down next week to check it out. Meanwhile, happy listening!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, March 27th 2009
"Moulin Rouge" is still one of the greatest films of all time. He's right, you know, when he says "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return".
Maybe I'll write my own story someday.
Meanwhile, I've been having great adventures. After my voice lesson that day, I set out for a 5-hour walk around the "rural" parts of Singapore, around Tanjong Katong, Marine Parade, Paya Lebar. I went to Gramercy music to pick up my ABRSM songbook first. Bloody hell, man, that thin book costs me $32+! Anyway, I'm glad I finally found it. It was sold out everywhere else.
After I bought my book, I walked around aimlessly, listening to all kinds of music on my player. I listened to Dutch singing, Italian singing, 17th century classical music, lute music, banjo music, and they all kept me going. 3 times, I gave up walking and wanted to take a bus to Parkway Parade, but just before the bus could arrive, I decided to walk again, so that was good. I realised I give up too easy, so I forced myself to keep going till I found Parkway Parade on my own, I trusted my instincts and kept walking. By the time I found it, I felt thinner, but happy.
It was good training for perseverance,discipline and determination that I so desperately need now that I'll be doing self-studying for my 3 subjects at 'O's. I shall go on more of these "aimless-walking" trips. I haven't been to Holland Village in a while, so maybe I'll go there next.
Recently, I've found myself feeling envious when I watch movies/shows of poor people and how they live. Take the "Little Rascals" for an example. They only have petty little problems to deal with every day, like how to get their dog back from the dog-catcher when they don't have any money. They live by coming up with creative stories to get food.
Other examples include "Mr. Bean" and "Joe Dirt".
I don't know why I should feel envious of them. After all, I live in a more-or-less comfortable flat, have more than enough food to eat, and have luxury items like the computer and a mobile phone and music player, not to mention that I have the money to pay for ridiculously-overpriced food in town when I'm out and hungry.
I wish I were poor. These people have much more excitement in their lives. Living in Singapore isn't as great as it seems. All the tourists that I speak to every day at my job in town tell me that it's a great place, a great country. Sunny and friendly, with all its luxuries, not many people begging on the streets, out in the cold.
When I look out my window, all I see is concrete. It seems frustrating to know that all the trees I see were deliberately planted, and everyone is packed into a multi-storey HDB flat made of concrete. It's caterpillar season, and I see masses of squashed caterpillars, lives brutally shortened by thousands of stomping feet.
There's no inspiration anywhere in this country. There are no lovely woods to walk through and see the sunlight shining through the canopy. There are no lovely streams to sit and write poetry by. There's no snow to throw and flop onto. All people talk about are money, sex and food. Conversations are filled with dirty jokes, numbers for 4-D and lottery, and the great chilli crabs and barbequed stingrays. It's so suffocating living in such a small, humid country with an ever-increasing population that's becoming more spoilt and stuck-up, obsessed with money and power. Once the casinos are up and operating, all Hell will break loose.
The auntie at work asks me why I don't want to stay in this country, but she speaks Mandarin, so I didn't bother trying to explain. Even in English, people don't understand it.
There's no doubt that I'll be out of here when the opportunity comes. I'm not looking for a famous and flashy lifestyle with all its comforts, I'm looking for a humble existence, close to nature and far away from all corruption. It seems easier to talk to animals than human beings nowadays.
I want to be a wanderer, unattached to anything. If I have a home I don't want it to be of concrete. Anything but concrete. Mud houses, leaf houses, dung houses, wood houses, don't you think they make life more interesting? You don't have to take the stairs or elevator down to the first floor.
Development is a curse, it's destroying the world, and not slowly either. It's crumbling before my very eyes, and people are losing compassion, love, faith. Maybe they'll become the kind of people who will fit a cold, developed and destroyed world.
To be honest, I think children are the ones who make the most sense anywhere. True, they may be naive, innocent and ignorant, but they're uncorrupted. They talk about beauty and life, and adults just laugh at them, telling them they talk nonsense. Well, no wonder! The adult's world is nothing but trash. The magazines with most copies sold are the gossip ones.
Elvis didn't start taking drugs for no reason, neither did Heath Ledger.
The adult's world is nothing but crap, and I hope I won't be a part of it for as long as I live. If I will be forced to, then I hope I'll be dead before that.
Gotta live poor, baby! Then life's an adventure!
Maybe I'll write my own story someday.
Meanwhile, I've been having great adventures. After my voice lesson that day, I set out for a 5-hour walk around the "rural" parts of Singapore, around Tanjong Katong, Marine Parade, Paya Lebar. I went to Gramercy music to pick up my ABRSM songbook first. Bloody hell, man, that thin book costs me $32+! Anyway, I'm glad I finally found it. It was sold out everywhere else.
After I bought my book, I walked around aimlessly, listening to all kinds of music on my player. I listened to Dutch singing, Italian singing, 17th century classical music, lute music, banjo music, and they all kept me going. 3 times, I gave up walking and wanted to take a bus to Parkway Parade, but just before the bus could arrive, I decided to walk again, so that was good. I realised I give up too easy, so I forced myself to keep going till I found Parkway Parade on my own, I trusted my instincts and kept walking. By the time I found it, I felt thinner, but happy.
It was good training for perseverance,discipline and determination that I so desperately need now that I'll be doing self-studying for my 3 subjects at 'O's. I shall go on more of these "aimless-walking" trips. I haven't been to Holland Village in a while, so maybe I'll go there next.
Recently, I've found myself feeling envious when I watch movies/shows of poor people and how they live. Take the "Little Rascals" for an example. They only have petty little problems to deal with every day, like how to get their dog back from the dog-catcher when they don't have any money. They live by coming up with creative stories to get food.
Other examples include "Mr. Bean" and "Joe Dirt".
I don't know why I should feel envious of them. After all, I live in a more-or-less comfortable flat, have more than enough food to eat, and have luxury items like the computer and a mobile phone and music player, not to mention that I have the money to pay for ridiculously-overpriced food in town when I'm out and hungry.
I wish I were poor. These people have much more excitement in their lives. Living in Singapore isn't as great as it seems. All the tourists that I speak to every day at my job in town tell me that it's a great place, a great country. Sunny and friendly, with all its luxuries, not many people begging on the streets, out in the cold.
When I look out my window, all I see is concrete. It seems frustrating to know that all the trees I see were deliberately planted, and everyone is packed into a multi-storey HDB flat made of concrete. It's caterpillar season, and I see masses of squashed caterpillars, lives brutally shortened by thousands of stomping feet.
There's no inspiration anywhere in this country. There are no lovely woods to walk through and see the sunlight shining through the canopy. There are no lovely streams to sit and write poetry by. There's no snow to throw and flop onto. All people talk about are money, sex and food. Conversations are filled with dirty jokes, numbers for 4-D and lottery, and the great chilli crabs and barbequed stingrays. It's so suffocating living in such a small, humid country with an ever-increasing population that's becoming more spoilt and stuck-up, obsessed with money and power. Once the casinos are up and operating, all Hell will break loose.
The auntie at work asks me why I don't want to stay in this country, but she speaks Mandarin, so I didn't bother trying to explain. Even in English, people don't understand it.
There's no doubt that I'll be out of here when the opportunity comes. I'm not looking for a famous and flashy lifestyle with all its comforts, I'm looking for a humble existence, close to nature and far away from all corruption. It seems easier to talk to animals than human beings nowadays.
I want to be a wanderer, unattached to anything. If I have a home I don't want it to be of concrete. Anything but concrete. Mud houses, leaf houses, dung houses, wood houses, don't you think they make life more interesting? You don't have to take the stairs or elevator down to the first floor.
Development is a curse, it's destroying the world, and not slowly either. It's crumbling before my very eyes, and people are losing compassion, love, faith. Maybe they'll become the kind of people who will fit a cold, developed and destroyed world.
To be honest, I think children are the ones who make the most sense anywhere. True, they may be naive, innocent and ignorant, but they're uncorrupted. They talk about beauty and life, and adults just laugh at them, telling them they talk nonsense. Well, no wonder! The adult's world is nothing but trash. The magazines with most copies sold are the gossip ones.
Elvis didn't start taking drugs for no reason, neither did Heath Ledger.
The adult's world is nothing but crap, and I hope I won't be a part of it for as long as I live. If I will be forced to, then I hope I'll be dead before that.
Gotta live poor, baby! Then life's an adventure!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Monday, March 23rd 2009
I bought my first M18 film today! The guy at the counter said I could, even though I'm 4 months from being 18. I bought the film "Deliverance", and just finished watching it. It is far from being M18, I tell you. Even 8-year olds watch that kind of stuff, except for the man-rape part. They didn't even show the most crucial parts, they were blocked by a large tree branch!
I remember my first NC16 movie- "Hannibal Rising". I really wanted to watch it, and I wanted it more and more as I rode past the movie poster at the bus stop every day. Luckily, Eng Wah wasn't so strict about being 16 that very moment. To be honest, "Hannibal Rising" was more disturbing than "Deliverance". Mmm, Gaspard Ulliel is still one of the hottest actors around. And, he's French!
Anyway, I've uploaded a new video on my blog. Scroll right to the bottom to watch it, and I promise you, it won't be boring. The front part goes a little slowly, but with patience comes a great reward.
Doesn't it sound fun?!
That's why I want to play the banjo!
I'm making progress on my ukelele. New chords coming to my fingertips like magic, and the sound just travels to my ears and somehow registers in my brain as "beautiful". Still quite slow, but sounding better. Discovered a few things like which fingers are more comfortable on which strings and frets, which part of my thumb I feel comfortable strumming with, how to tune the ukelele by ear, how a perfect chord sounds on it.
I tried learning chords from the internet, but to no avail. I just don't get it. I play exactly as they display on the screen, but it sounds horrible. Playing it by ear seems a lot easier, just need more practice. Must get familiar and intimate with the instrument, that's how you become a good musician.
I remember my first NC16 movie- "Hannibal Rising". I really wanted to watch it, and I wanted it more and more as I rode past the movie poster at the bus stop every day. Luckily, Eng Wah wasn't so strict about being 16 that very moment. To be honest, "Hannibal Rising" was more disturbing than "Deliverance". Mmm, Gaspard Ulliel is still one of the hottest actors around. And, he's French!
Anyway, I've uploaded a new video on my blog. Scroll right to the bottom to watch it, and I promise you, it won't be boring. The front part goes a little slowly, but with patience comes a great reward.
Doesn't it sound fun?!
That's why I want to play the banjo!
I'm making progress on my ukelele. New chords coming to my fingertips like magic, and the sound just travels to my ears and somehow registers in my brain as "beautiful". Still quite slow, but sounding better. Discovered a few things like which fingers are more comfortable on which strings and frets, which part of my thumb I feel comfortable strumming with, how to tune the ukelele by ear, how a perfect chord sounds on it.
I tried learning chords from the internet, but to no avail. I just don't get it. I play exactly as they display on the screen, but it sounds horrible. Playing it by ear seems a lot easier, just need more practice. Must get familiar and intimate with the instrument, that's how you become a good musician.
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