Saturday, May 8th 2010

New doggy today!

But somehow I don't feel as happy as I should.

We adopted Oneone from a young couple who bought the dog together 2 years ago. They broke up recently and wanted to give him a new home, so it just so happened that my sister heard about it and arranged for it to be sent to our house, but not before she went to meet them and him.

He greeted me, a total stranger, by surrendering entirely on his back, displaying his tummy. He's a male shih tzu, though groomed as a short-haired dog. We clicked right away, I sang to him, we vegetated on the couch together.

But.
There's this guilt tugging at my heart, the sadness I so long banished to the corners of my mind.

Every time I eat carrots, every time I see a plastic food dish, every time I look up from bed in the morning, I see Rabbit. He was my best friend, he listened to every word and song, he cuddled with me when I cried, he never failed to kiss me goodnight.

Oh, Rabbit. I find it difficult to accept a new pet so readily, even though you've been gone for more than a year now. I thought it would be easy, a new friend, a new personality, but I was wrong. How could I do this, how could anyone, really?

I miss you dearly every day; how you kissed me, how you chewed up my textbooks, how you hopped in the air happily, how your mouth turned orange after eating carrot. I miss your twitchy ears that listened, I miss your tuft of fur that stuck out awkwardly, I miss every bit of you that was given to me as a gift from God.
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Feeling exhausted.

Yesterday was CCN day, so somewhat more interesting than usual. There was an energy about, and nobody could really pay full attention during the lecures that lasted till 11am. Communication Skills class started at 2pm, so after combing the schools and their booths, my classmates and I hung out at Itas. Some of them finished off their homework, some did Chemistry exercises, some just sat around and drank Ribena, like myself.

I attended the band session at Potong Pasir, and was actually surprised at the music. They practised "I Will Survive". I paid more attention to the musicians than the song, watching, just watching how they moved to the music, felt the rhythm, each with his own skill. It was strange, awkward, but somehow nice as well. Had dinner after the jam session at some coffeeshop, where I kind of tuned out strings of vulgarities. Guys have a certain type of humour, you know?

D and I headed to Changi Airport for our overnight-study date. We got there around 10pm, went straight to Macs where they were playing hokkien jazz over the speakers. I got started on my Chemistry Pre-Lab and quiz notes, while D tackled his Marketing and Stats. Vindictive thoughts set in after a girl behind the counter made a bad joke, but he didn't pursue it.
We studied there till 2am, then went to Burger King in search of food and quiet shelter. We had burgers and onion rings, then decided not to study there, so we headed to the viewing gallery. It was already a lil crowded, but we managed to find a nice spot. He was already half-asleep by then, so he slept while I continued summarising my OC notes. (Heh heh, D, I know your secretsss)
I kept nodding off after 5am, but forced myself to stay awake so I could wake him in time for the sunrise. Alas, it was not needed. After I did and we moved to get a better view, he went back to sleep! The sun rose, and at 7am I fell asleep, sharing his leather bag for a pillow. I woke up with an invisible but painful bruise at the side of my eye. I must've laid on something hard on his bag, but, I was too tired to notice.
Breakfast at Ya Kun Kayatoast, and then I helped him pack his room and move to his new house. Beautiful place, it looks and feels so homey. I wish I could live in a house like that. I came home to a waggy dog, but grumpy people, demanding to know where I showered, what I did last night, who I was with.
I ignored the last question.

This is getting increasingly ridiculous by the day.
I need milk now.