Thursday, September 10th 2009

Good old cartoons.

I spent most of my day productively. I wanted to study in the comfortable air-conditioned library, but when I went there at 11.30am, there was not a single empty seat left. I wish those kids would go back to school, the library is the only place conducive enough for me to study at! I can't even study at home anymore!

When I couldn't find any seats at the library, I walked out and went in search of somewhere with a table and chairs, preferably out of direct sunlight. I almost went to McDonald's across the road, but before I got there, I found a quiet little area with a table and some stone chairs. Flats towered over it, and even though there was some noise, there was a peaceful feeling to it. So, I did my Maths paper 2 there.
It wasn't easy coping with the heat, though. There was the occasional breeze, but it wasn't enough to cool me down, so I just suffered like that and tried to ignore the heat. Once I finished my paper, I packed up lickity split. I heard music coming from the old folks' centre near the place I was seated at. They played old records, and I could see them dancing to the music through the barred windows.
I wonder if old folks are any happier being in centres or homes than being home alone all the time? You know, mad people are the most blissful ones.

I came home after that and forced myself to do a bit of Social Studies. It was so difficult to do, not because of the content, but because I couldn't concentrate. I hate studying at home, I can't get things done in large quantities or productively. Strangely, the library is the only place I can study productively.

Went for another concert tonight, another one of my sister's choirs. Mom, Dad and I went to watch, to support her. I feel a little jealous, not only because my parents never bothered watching me sing in concerts, but also because they called my interests "a waste of time".
I've long given up on them ever watching me perform, and part of me doesn't want them to be there anyway. You should hear what they talk about after the concert, it's nothing related to the music.

Also, I was left with an empty feeling after the concert. I miss being part of a choir, my choir, with Mrs Low screaming and Ms Tham glaring and Mrs Seah trying to be strict, the sectionals, the frustration, the joy, just being able to sing with a big group of people who do the same.
When I was still at school, I used to sing all the time, and people couldn't stand it. They hated it. At choir was when and where everyone sang, each one with her own instrument, to come together to create and explore music.

Having been away from big groups of people for so long, I've lost all touch. I haven't been in a classroom setting for almost a year, I haven't sung in a choir for more than a year. There are so few people I'm keeping in touch with, if only to ask the occasional question, with V as an exception.

I wish I could join a choir, but I don't know anyone in the music circle well enough except my sister. She's in some pretty good choirs, but I can't join her choirs because it would be so awkward, and there would be politics and stuff, you know?
I'll give it more thought, which I have time to do since I've gotta get past my 'O's first. Maybe when I start school next year, I won't feel such an urge to join a choir anymore. Plus, I'll be singing more and more as I get to a higher level, and I've got my Grade 5s next year.