Thursday, September 3rd 2009

Hey people

It's been a disappointingly unproductive day. I mean, I managed to do a bit of SOVA, but that was it! I couldn't bring myself to touch any Maths, so I re-arranged my file notes and read "Memories of my melancholy whores". It wasn't bad at all, I'm almost halfway through. It's pretty interesting, I must say.

Other than that, nothing interesting happened today. I forgot to return a DVD yesterday, so I took it down to the library to bookdrop it tonight. It was a nice walk after a nice shower. Full moon tonight, so I took my time walking to the library, which, both fortunately and unfortunately, is right beside my house. I took time to look at the moon. Beautiful, serene as ever.
It just occurred to me that I'm quite a romantic. I love the sea, the moon, and I write poetry. Plus, I think suffering and dying for love is incredible. But! No room for hurt feelings, no time for relationships. Gotta study, study, study.

Those things aside, I've been missing my Rabbit a lot lately. His absence is felt. There's no one tearing at any paper, cardboard or wood in sight, no little furry animal chasing me around the house, no little kisses before bedtime. I guess he'll always be here with me, but physical form would be so much better to cuddle, you know?
I miss those lovely deep eyes, his smooth, long ears, that little tuft of fur on his head, the way he sinks and flattens when I pet him, the way he falls asleep with his eyes wide open on lazy afternoons. He's missing from his spot under the ironing-board.

I keep seeing pictures of fluffy bunnies and I think of him. He was quite a finicky rabbit, typical teenage-boy rabbit, but was camera-shy and really sweet. I keep having this urge to get another rabbit, they're such sweet creatures, and they have eyes that can melt people.
Maybe someday, in the future, I shall get another rabbit. A lop-eared sweetie, but not now. I'd feel so guilty if I got another rabbit just like that, as if trying to replace him.

On an entirely different topic, I hope to study in Scotland. If I do manage to get into medicine or psychology, I'll aim to go to medical school there. They're said to have some of the best medical schools, and the climate and architecture are lovely. I hope money won't be too much of an issue, but I'd have to work my ass off to get a scholarship.
People keep telling me to "study smart". What the hell is that?! They tell me to "study smart" but they don't explain further, so I just study. I've been doing all my subjects nowadays, and I feel much better because I don't hate any of the subjects now. Strange how this extra year has helped me learn to like what I couldn't stand before.
I never thought I'd enjoy Maths, but hey, it doesn't seem that bad now. And SS!!! I used to dislike Art and Geog until I was Sec 3, but now they're two of my stronger subjects. Maybe taking SOVA really would be better for me, because I lean more to language and Arts. SOVA is a combination of both, isn't it cool?! Plus, it delves into psychology, philosophy and a whole lot of other stuff as well.

I'm quite sure I'll do much better in those subjects this time, but I'm not sure I can reach my goals. They're set pretty high, since I want to get into such tough courses. I've started to really really work on all my subjects equally, I have a little more than a month until my first paper- SOVA. It's the last stretch, and I truly want to succeed.