Friday, June 26th 2009

OH NO!
Michael Jackson is dead!

I told you fame is evil! Everybody famous either dies too early or goes mad. I always stood by Michael Jackson, he was a cool person. Rest In Peace, Michael.

I'm turning 18 in 9 days. My mom just asked me where I want to celebrate it, I don't want to celebrate it with my family. They're so bloody mean. Mom insisted that I celebrate it at some stupid restaurant, but we all go to a restaurant every birthday or occasion, it's so lame and awkward and there's always some petty argument. I refuse to "celebrate" my birthday this way.
I suggested to Mom that she just get me a present instead of going to some restaurant, and I told her I put up my birthday wishlist on the refrigerator. She and my sister went to look at it, and they laughed.
They actually laughed at the things I wanted! Then they said those things were "stupid" and "useless" and "a waste of money" and "nonsense". This is exactly why I can't stand my family, why can't they just be nice, supportive people? They always have to say something mean to amuse themselves, it's disgusting.
I'm so embarrassed.

Wednesday, June 24th 2009

If someone could get me this book, I would be very happy. The only place that has it is the library @ Esplanade, and it's not even for loan! I haven't checked "Page One", though..

Okay, I have to blog about several things today. I'll do them in paragraphs.

Today, in the MRT, I saw an old person give up her seat for a woman with a toddler. Then, a young man, in turn, have up his seat for the old woman. The young man lied to the old woman that he was going to get off soon. 6 stops later, he was till on the MRT. However, I am pleased to type that there is humanity in society after all!

On Saturday, Sabby took me shopping and I was mortified by what I saw. We walked into places like "Juicy Couture", and a simple, slinky top was on sale at $1000+ per piece! No typo error. A pair of foam slippers was on sale at $120! I could buy each of those items with $10. Non branded, granted, but they look exactly the same. Who cares?! The brand label is on the inside of the top, soon to be cut off for being annoying!
This is ridiculous! What surprises me most is that people actually buy them!

Also, I've never been able to afford the famous Royce or Godiva chocolates, so Sab bought me a small box of Godiva truffles. I always wanted to know what the fuss is about, almost all my peers were talking about the "fantastic" chocolates.
I eagerly opened the box when I got home and, slowly and carefully, ate one of the six chocolates in the box. I made sure I ate it slowly lest I missed out on anything, expecting some wonderful new flavour to burst out of the milk-chocolate-coated truffle. To my disappointment, it tasted no different from the cheapskate Belgian "shell" chocolates I pestered my mom to buy when I was a kid. (Sorry, Sabby, but I have to say this:)
Poor people aren't missing out on anything.

Went to Esplanade library to study and borrow DVDs today, but it was so crowded, even the floor spaces were taken up! I was surprised to find all the DVDs I've wanted to borrow for a long time, though. They were right there for me to take! I must've done something good again. I borrowed two Italian movies, "Gone with the Wind", "Charlie Chaplin revue"and "Simpsons Christmas". Feeling happy but with nowhere to sit, I borrowed the DVDs and went to the Esplanade foyer to study. I did SOVA today, so it didn't take too long. It was raining hard, and the air-conditioner was blasting right at me so I got the studying over and done with. My hands were frozen by the time I finished, but I didn't feel guilty, so good!
Walked to Peninsular Plaza and Peninsular Shopping Centre and found some pretty cool shops. Talked to a nice skater lady who told me where to buy roller skates, and found a witchcraft shop with shelves full of herbs and stones and amulets, and tons of cheap skinny jeans and backpacks and other lovely stuff! I can't stand skinny jeans, but I'll go there for my backpacks in the future, should I need any.

Today, I held a banjo in my hands for the first time, and I fell in love. I've been looking around for things I want for my birthday. I still can't decide if I'll buy myself running shoes, roller skates or a banjo. I can only get one present for myself, the others are up to other people. I can't afford the whole banjo, though. Maybe if I pay half the price...? Anyway, I've done my research, and I've found 3 banjos in the entire country.
1) Shop opposite "Swee Lee", $399, I think. (Bras Basah Complex, Bugis)
2) "Maestro Concept Store", $399 (Excelsior Shopping Centre, City Hall)
3) "Renner Piano Co." $369.90 (Peace Centre, Dhoby Ghaut)

Great Singapore Sale is on, they may be on sale!

Monday, June 22nd 2009

He was such a skinny little thing. I can't get over the tramp having such good manners! It's very appealing.

Sab gave me a set of Charlie Chaplin DVDs, comprising 4 films, 3 of which I've already watched. (Don't worry, Sab, I'll watch them again and again!) The one I haven't watched is "Limelight".
Tonight, I watched "The Great Dictator" a second time. The first time I watched it, which was weeks ago, I disliked it so much that I returned it the next day. It was late and I was tired and grumpy, so I thought it was too political, like all the other political bullshit in the world. Tonight, however, I watched it while having my dinner, and I saw that it isn't too bad at all. Not many people die in the movie, and his portrayal of Hitler is more comical than hateful.

Mom finally found & bought me some overalls, my old ones were getting too tight. This one's very comfortable ($15!), but she had to alter the length of the trousers because they were too long. Oh, well. That's what I get for being short. It's fine being short in Asia, though. I shall have to carry a ladder with me when (not if!) I go abroad to stay and study.

Some research online lead me to news that Charlie Chaplin came to Singapore! Too bad I wasn't alive back then, but he stayed at Raffles Hotel in 1933! Gah! By then, he was 44 and totally rich, but that's beside the point.

I did some research online about "PhD", "masters" and "medical school". "Masters" takes 2 years of post-graduate studies, "PhD" takes 4-6 years of post-graduate studies (depending on whether you sat for "masters"), and graduating from medical school certifies you a doctor and gives you the ability to practise medicine. "Masters" and "PhD" are more for the research field.
I think a PhD is like a badge of mental perseverance. Years of having to endure and do well in the highest levels of a certain chosen field. That's why people think a PhD is so great.

A lot of my heroes didn't finish school, and most of them were in the arts scene. Charlie Chaplin wanted to be a professional classical composer, he practised the violin for hours everyday, locked in his room. He couldn't read a note of music. Yet, he became an actor, the father of comedy.
Elvis Presley wanted a bicycle or rifle for his 11th birthday, but instead, got a guitar. That's all his parents could afford to get him. Years later, he played the guitar for the world to hear.

My Dad thinks it's strange that I should idolise dead people. He lived through a time when they were all alive, but never gave them a second glance. He's the one who's strange. When I was young, I used to wonder why these few people were such a big deal. Elvis's face was everywhere, everyone spoke of the classic Charlie Chaplin, and Jamaican flags were hung here and there with Bob Marley's face grinning from them. Now I know why they're so great.
My heroes weren't born into wealth, they knew poverty. They built themselves a future out of scraps, they remembered what it was like to be hungry, to not be able to afford what they wanted and needed. They grew up to be the greatest people who ever lived!

My life is too boring. Nothing much seems to be happening nowdays, just a routine of studying, having meals and sleeping. I throw in voice lessons and exercise and a bit of television, but that's it.
Where's the action?!
I wish I could live like Joe Dirt or Charlie Bucket (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), feeling so happy to find money in the streets, planning what food to buy, down to the very last cent, having to brave danger and the cold, embracing adventure and going where my heart and feet take me.

Now that I think about it, it's not such a wonder that my heroes were poor once.

Friday, June 19th 2009 post 2

I've just overheard Dad telling Mom that my grandmother (Dad's mother) is in the hospital, due to some growth in her stomach. He's driving back to M'sia tomorrow to visit her.
I guess it's expected, most old people fall ill in some way, and she's quite old. I feel a bit bad, though, I was never really close to her. We live in different countries, and we don't speak the same language. I don't know what to say to Dad to comfort him, so I'm just being nicer and more forgiving when he's mean to me.

Meeting Sabby tomorrow, gonna buy some useful stuff for my room, like storage boxes or something. I baked brownies tonight, but am a bit worried because they smell funny. I thought it was the egg, but maybe it's just my imagination. I can't stand the smell of raw egg, and the smell of egg wasn't overpowering, so maybe it's not bad. Other than the whole egg thing, they're fine.

Finally found several places that sell banjos in Singapore, but I hope I can afford one. If only they sold banjos at $100. I need new running shoes, I've been using my current pair for about 3 years now, and the bottom is wearing out fast. It would be perfect for me to buy a new pair when my birthday arrives, but there are many other things I want as well. It seems ridiculous to pay $100 for a pair of shoes, but where else can I find good, cheap running shoes that hug the foot comfortably and support it, with good rubber soles with killer grips?!

Couldn't concentrate on Math today, so feeling lousy. My tuition homework is so weird, but it's not my syllabus. It just contains similar topics like trigo and all that, but it seems extremely un-doable. Extremely frustrating, so I tried doing some questions from my TYS, but didn't manage to do much.

Friday, June 19th 2009

Went to dinner with Kat and Gerv last night. It was wonderful getting together again. We had dinner at "Aston's" at the Cathay, and the food was all right. My steak was a little tough, but otherwise fine. Tasty.
Afterwards, we shopped at "Daiso", "Spotlight" and "Cotton On", but didn't spend much money. One has to have money to spend it. They're your typical good, girly-girls, so they tried on skirts and all that while I waited at some corner. We walked into one shop, and they were having a 50% sale on all items, I think. Anyway, Gerv picked up this pair of slippers that costs $99, it's unbelievable. How stupid can people get? Luckily, neither of us were stupid and we walked out the shop.
It was great to be around familiar people, and laughing a lot at stupid things and jokes. Very comforting, an escape from this dull life.

Wednesday, June 17th 2009

My second wisdom tooth is finally growing out! The first one grew out quite nicely, didn't give me any problems, but I'm not so sure about this one. The tiny speck of a tooth is already positioned a little bit out of line, and it may grow crooked and push against my inner cheek. Anyway, it still looks cute now. It's like I'm caring for a baby. Technically, I am.
Also, I really do believe that with wisdom teeth come wisdom. For me, at least.

Well, it's been a busy day. I woke up, watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" while having brunch. Watching it inspired me to have cabbage soup for lunch. If I could trade places with anyone in the world, it'd be Charlie Bucket, not because he won an entire chocolate factory, but because he's so close to his family.
Sometimes having all these material things matter squat to me. I guess it's good that I have food on the table and the money to buy more food and other things that I want, but it'd be much nicer to just have one day to look forward to, one day a year to have a whole chocolate bar to myself.

Had tuition again today, it wasn't bad. Teacher was surprised I finished all the questions she gave me last week. I guess I was supposed to do them slowly or something. After tuition, I continued watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" since Dad nagged at me non-stop during my brunch to "go study and stop wasting time". What does one have to do to get a peaceful, happy, filling breakfast around here?! Bloody hell, even when I study right in front of him, he says I don't study. Something is wrong, if he says it once more, I'm never studying in his sight again.

Practised my singing, all the exercises I know and my exam pieces. Tried to put "feeling" into them and succeeded, but somehow I can't do it in front of my voice teacher. It's just difficult. Practised retraction of the throat, inner smile, resonance and all that, but it's the emotions I have a problem with.

Ran at Bishan Park, gotta feel good when meeting up with Kat and Gerv tomorrow. At least I won't feel fat or guilty. Was supposed to bake brownies tonight, but I ended up watching "Scary Movie" instead. Gotta bake them for Sabby, so maybe I'll bake them on Friday night.

Tuesday, June 16th 2009

Charlie Chaplin was a pretty good-looking dude, so he looked good in any costume. I prefer him with his wildly-curly hair sticking up and out in all directions.

Last night, I got bored after playing 5 mins of "Sims 2", so I went on Wikipedia and did research on medical epidemics, then somehow stumbled upon Tuberculosis and Syphilis. Tuberculosis was a really dangerous disease back then, and since they didn't have antibiotics, or people couldn't afford it, about a billion people died of TB. It was very contagious, so it spread fast and wide.
The Syphilis page is even more scary. Quite obviously, Syphilis is a sexually-transmitted disease, so having sex was pretty much the only way to get it. The thing is, these diseases have an "incubation" period when there are no external signs of infection, so people continue to have sex and spread it further. In the 1000s (A.D.), people believed that applying mercury to their rashes and sores could cure them of Syphilis, by rubbing it on the skin, by mouth and by injection. Strangest thing is that mercury is supposed to be poisonous, but people lived! I love the saying "A night in the arms of Venus leads to a lifetime on Mercury".

These pages are frightening, but strangely fascinating and addictive.
Am currently reading the page on Leprosy.

I've done it! I've gotten all the dreads out of my hair, though it took me 3 days and an unbelievable lot of patience. One never realises how much skin and hair he sheds every day until he gets dreadlocks. 2 months of shedded hair came off, and lots of flakes of dead skin, but hey, it's human nature yah? Don't go all "eww, gross! Yuck, that's so disgusting!" on me. Anyway, I've gotten a haircut and my hair is hip, as usual. My stylist didn't believe I had dreadlocks and took them out, finishing less than an hour before getting my haircut.
It feels strange not having to painstakingly care for my dreads anymore, not feeling the weight of them, not having really, really tangled hair. However, it feels good to have light, fluffy hair again. Now that I've gone through having and caring for dreadlocks, I am a true survivor.

My Venus Flytrap is currently in my room listening to "Handel's Recorder Sonatas", enjoying the warmth of the IKEA table lamp. I noticed it grows a lot faster with music, so I guess it really works!

Am seriously considering a future in Psychology, but that will be my second choice to Biomedical Sciences. Of course, I'd love to spend a lifetime studying and prodding around in other people's organs, but a lifetime of studying and prodding around other people's minds sounds good too! Forensic science has fascinated me since I discovered serial killers and Hannibal Lecter (who could forget him?), and I love wickedly twisted minds, so it sounds exciting. What I'm worried about is that the only school that offers "Psychology Studies" is Temasek Poly, and that's at the other side of the country! I don't wanna do "Psychology and Community Services" or what ever they call it, done enough community work in Sec school, thanks very much.
The bonus in studying Psychology in Poly is that it doesn't have Math. It's a Humanities course, so it's very creative-English-based. That aside, am still working towards Biomedical Sciences. Biology really appeals to me, so I hope it'll somehow be part of my career in future. I don't ever want to be like those people who wind up in dead-end jobs because they can't/don't want to study. Have met enough of those people to know that it's a sucky life to lead.

Monday, June 15th 2009

Here's a poem I don't even remember I wrote. It was written and posted online 2 years ago.

"Clouds hover in the sky like a blanket of white,
A cool breeze gently blowing.
The blanket looks so thick and solid,
The layers barely showing.
How far is it from Earth, I wonder
Locked in an everlasting slumber.
Here I lie, forever wondering,
Snuggling inside the comfort of my mind."

Monday, June 15th 2009

Hiya folks!
Beautiful morning!

It's gonna be a slightly more relaxed week, I should say. Now that I've finished the first textbook, I'm doing 2 papers a week, so I have more free time on my hands to re-compile Math notes and bake Sabby's cookies. Will be meeting up with a few people this week, so it won't be an anti-social week for me. Usually I'm just cooped up at home with nobody to talk to, so I talk to my Venus Flytrap, but it doesn't talk back. At least it listens.

I've been spending time patiently taking my dreadlocks out. It's an emotionally painful process, like killing your babies. Oh well. My mom noticed that some of the ends are turning grey, and I panicked, because I wasn't sure if it was the shampoo or the whole dreadlock structure that was turning the ends grey, so I'm taking them out. It's a pity, but it doesn't mean I won't ever have them again! Maybe in the future, when I really do have grey hair.
Well, it's not all that bad, I guess. I miss having short, fluffy hair, and dreadlocks are extremely difficult to maintain. Everything gets stuck in it! Costly shampoo, too. Took pictures of them dreads before they were all out, so I'll always have the memories.

I aim to get them all out by tonight or tomorrow morning, then get a haircut after my voice lesson tomorrow, so my hair will more or less calm down in time for dinner with Kat and Gerv on Thursday. Good plan, good plan. I will miss my expressive hair, but I realised that I don't have to have expressive hair to be cool! I didn't get get dreads to look cool, but they ended up looking cool anyway, but I also like looking neat and hip. My short hair was always neat and hip!

Also, I noticed that all my heroes have/had expressive hair. Charlie Chaplin's was really curly and cute, Bob Marley had dreadlocks, Elvis had his wild comb-in-all-directions hair, Franco's is curly and blond.

I like all their hairstyles, but they're all men! I wouldn't look good with their hairstyles if I tried, apart from the dreadlocks. I was thinking of really curly hair (refer to previous post's picture), d'you think it would suit me?

Saturday, June 13th 2009

Been doing research on kisses. It's been recorded that kissing was around as early as 1500BC, though it is not known when exactly kissing came about, or how people developed it. Came across an interesting paragraph in an article, and I'll quote it:

"When you really think about it, kissing is pretty gross. It involves saliva and mucous membranes, and it may have historical roots in chewed-up food. Experts estimate that hundreds or even millions of bacterial colonies move from one mouth to another during a kiss. Doctors have also linked kissing to the spread of diseases like meningitis, herpes and mononucleosis."

The line about bacterial colonies moving from one mouth to another is the grossest part. Remember my germ-growing experiment? The "tongue" container is the most dangerous-looking one now. This big white blob of bacteria has climbed up the walls! The black germs have completely covered the surface of the gelatine solution, which has now turned liquid, broken down by bacteria. The brown germs are nowhere to be seen, because the black and white germs are so plentiful. Very frightening to think it comes from a mouth. MY mouth, at any rate. Gahh! Luckily, I clean my tongue every morning. The germs were taken in the morning, AFTER I brushed my teeth but before cleaning my tongue, so you can imagine what a whole night's sleep can do for the germs in your mouth.

Went to SPCA this morning. Mom finally came. She didn't exactly agree, but she's not so against the idea of getting a dog anymore. We didn't find a suitable dog for us today, so I guess we'll just go back again some time soon. I did, however, fall in love with a lovely little rabbit named Bubbles. He was really sweet, and he kissed my fingers as I rubbed his face through the bars. Boy, I'll never stop loving rabbits in my life.
I like bigger dogs, though. They're nice to cuddle, and they'll protect you and all that. The German Shepherd and Rottweiler I saw at SPCA are gorgeous and unbelievably friendly and curious. Too bad I live in a HDB flat. When (not if!), in my future, I move to the countryside of some lovely country, I'll go for big, friendly dogs.

Going to study with V tomorrow at Esplanade, then we're going to walk about town for a while before heading home. Shall borrow more Charlie Chaplin DVDs, I'm getting bored with "City Lights", which I've watched 4 times in a week. "Monsieur Verdoux" is all right, but I prefer his movies with his 'Tramp' character. He's cuter in those.

Friday, June 12th 2009

Feeling really lousy tonight.

Finally watched "Brokeback Mountain" in privacy, my mom walked in and out of the room at all the "right" parts, like "woman crying" or "kids talking to father" or "meat roasting over fire". I guess it wasn't total privacy, but good enough, considering how nosey people can be in this house. Well, watching "Brokeback Mountain" made me emotional, so I wasn't really in the mood for anything in particular. Had to talk to mom about adopting a dog from SPCA.

See, the SPCA requires the entire family to be present when adopting a dog. My brother refused to go, saying that if my mom goes, he would go. However, my mom is the most stubborn human being you'd ever meet. She's against it, using my dad as an excuse, saying he's too busy. It's bullshit, but that's beside the point. Anyway, both my brother and my mom called me selfish, so I stopped talking and stormed off to my room to cry. I don't really know why. It did sting a little, but you'd think I'd be used to it by now after 17 and a half years. Maybe it's the "Brokeback Mountain" that did it. I'm not sure if my sis can persuade them to go, but if she can't, I don't think we'll have an animal in the house any time soon. I miss having someone to talk to. I miss my Rabbit.

Sabby made my day by telling me about how she got me this Charlie Chaplin DVD collection. Only Volume 1, but Chaplin nonetheless! It's really sweet of her, can't wait to hang out with her when she flies back to visit.

Thursday, June 11th 2009

I knew I shouldn't have bought any cake! Every time I buy something for my parents, they're ungrateful. Every time I don't buy something for them, they're grumpy. Every time something is bought for them, I get scolded. It simply isn't fair. Why can't they just be decent human beings with courtesy and accept gifts with thanks?

Have been reading autobiographies of Charlie Chaplin. I've been discovering a lot about him with every flip of the page. He played the violin and piano well, and also played a little bit of cello. He danced and sang, too. Talented, no?
I was surprised to discover that he hated the smell of warm milk. Strange, because ever since I was young, I've hated warm milk. The smell is revolting! He said the smell of warm milk reminded him of sex. Now that I think about it, it's true.
He's becoming more of my hero every day. He's like the original Joe Dirt, only he was the real deal. The Tramp lived his life according to Charlie Chaplin's own life and experiences. He's always positive after being humiliated or laughed at, that's why I love him so much. He's a true hero in his own way.

We just got Dad to cut his birthday cake, and we sang him a birthday song. He stood by his ungrateful comments, but beamed as we sang him the song, a smile creeping over his face. Good to know that he isn't really unhappy about the gift.

Sis just showed me this short film on Youtube called "Chicken a la Carte", about poor people who don't have enough to eat, and how we "middle-class" people of society waste food, and how the poor people eat our left-overs. It was sad, but came as no surprise to me when they screamed, in their bold font, "25,000 people die of starvation EVERY DAY". I've done enough research on my own to know that. Millions of people die every day due to various reasons- like malaria and AIDS. If you've been reading my blog, you'd recall that I've typed about "malaria in Africa" before.

--------------------Must-Read Section--------------------
Well, H1N1 swine flu virus is finally declared an actual epidemic, and things have gotten a little exciting since. I suddenly have this sense of adventure in me, like you don't know what's coming next but you still want to risk your life and live normally. More people will be wearing masks out from now on, but I'm not sure I will. I'll think about it. Life is precious, but if it's time to die, it's time to die.
It's exciting to think that I'm living during/though an actual epidemic, even though it's not that serious because our ancestors have gone through similar flu epidemics before and have since evolved/adapted, in a way, to "fight" these flu viruses. The virus has mutated to become more dangerous than it used to be, but somehow it still seems mundane. Flu used to be a real killer, back when they had no idea what flu was. The Spanish Flu (1918-1920) was the worst, killing 20 to 100 million people. I wonder how many people are going down in this epidemic? Will it be really bad that it'll go down in history as the worst flu epidemic, or will it just be "another one of those"?

I often do research on epidemics that really made big holes in the world's human population, like the Black Death, Yellow Fever, Plague(s), Cholera, and they're all very interesting. Each one has different characteristics, and I read that people fell and died in the streets of these diseases. I know it sounds evil, but it would be an awesome sight. No doubt people won't be falling and dying in the streets due to this swine flu, since they'll all be in hospitals battling it out, so it won't be so exciting.
I don't really know what to feel now that the recent epidemic has been declared. Now faced with an actual world crisis, I don't know whether to be glad or sad. It's kind of like nature's way to cut down world population since we have too many people on the planet, but I'm part of that population. I guess I'm not really afraid of anything, death will come when it's time. There's really nothing to fear. I just wonder if I'll live long enough to see what happens next.(?)

Monday, June 8th 2009

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."

Been reading up on Charlie Chaplin and his life. He had a difficult childhood and was painfully shy and sickly. You can't imagine the dark background behind this lovable character. He hung out with all the famous people, I was shocked to see Albert Einstein's face in his photographs! Charlie Chaplin is one of a kind.

Watched "City Lights" last night. There were funny jokes, but I still think "Modern Times" was his best show. Of course, I haven't watched all of them, so I can't say for sure. Can't wait to watch them all, the Tramp is certainly my favourite character.

Went to SPCA today with sis and dad to see if there were any dogs suitable for us to adopt. It's pretty restricted, because we live in a HDB flat, so difficult to find small dogs for adoption. We need the whole family to go down to adopt a dog, so I'm hoping we can all go down on Saturday. My parents keep saying that I have no time to take care of a dog, that I have to study, etc. I'm already studying so much, but they're crazy and expect me to do it 24/7. I think even then, they wouldn't be satisfied. I can't stand them being so difficult, I need an outlet desperately. I'm cooped up at home day after day with Dad forcing studies down my throat while he idly sits and watches TV, eats and sleeps.
I wish Rabbit were still here, I miss him. He gave me a reason to live.

I'm going to spend more time alone from now on, taking time to go to Kinokuniya/Borders in the evenings to browse books and get lost in them. I sat with a really big book of Charlie Chaplin at Esplanade library the other day. I got lost in it, just having to concentrate on that and nothing/nobody else in the world. It was lovely, I got lost in it, couldn't hear or see anything else.
I feel the need to get away from the house nowadays. The house drains me of determination and discipline, and whenever Dad's at home, the TV's on, it's very distracting. Even in my room with the door locked, I can't work. There's just something depressing about being at home, I've just gotta get out and away from it! Anywhere else would be fine.

Sunday, June 7th 2009

Lovely smile.
If I manage to find a smile like this one in the reference books at esplanade library, I'll enlarge it and paste it on my wall.

Went to Bugis library with V today, diligently did my Geog paper. After I finished, it looked quite impressive, even though I merely wrote the points on the page itself. Couldn't find any big Charlie Chaplin books, was disappointed! Luckily, I didn't go home empty-handed. I went home with an autobiography and movie-and-life summary. I really want that big book I saw at Esplanade library, it had really great pictures and lotsa info on each film he was in. Too bad it's only for reference, must be super-expensive, maybe $80. Maybe I can add that to my birthday wishlist?

Gonna add something else to my wishlist: rollerskates! Quad roller skates, the ones used before rollerblades came along. Quads are the ones with the 4 wheels separated, like a car/truck. Rollerblades are the one with wheels in a line under the boot. I have rollerblades but they're really too heavy to move freely. I want rollerskates, but they don't sell them any more. Not here, at least, so I thought I'd make my own. They have DIY rollerskate videos online, but I need special skate parts to make them. I'll visit a skate shop one of these days to see if they have them. It would be pretty cool if I could make my own.

Went out for dinner with family tonight, it's for Father's Day and Dad's birthday. Strange that my parents' birthdays fall within a week of their respective Mother's/Father's Day. It was an awkward dinner (as it has been for so many years). Other tables were filled with noisy people busy talking and joking, ours was silent. I just concentrated on eating to busy myself, all I wanted to do was to go home and watch Charlie Chaplin. It's nice to get lost with him in his adventures, it peels away the stress from my hectic day-life.

Friday, June 5th 2009

At last! I've graduated from watching shows filmed in the 1930s-1940s, to watching films made from 1910-1930! Charlie Chaplin, of course, considering that there weren't many films made back then because everyone was without a job and all that. I've watched the two shows I borrowed ("The Gold Rush" and "Modern Times"), 3 times each. "The Gold Rush" has gotten old, but "Modern Times" is still great. Can't wait to borrow more of his films. His charm is captured in every one.

Went to watch "Night at the Museum 2" with V today, it wasn't too bad. I like the evil guy's muscles, they're very nice. The jokes were funny, only I think they didn't have enough. What I like most about the movie is the fact that they had to do research on every character that appears in the show. They had to read up on history to find out exactly what these people were like, what their legends are/were, etc. Never really thought about all the work behind the movie before.

Went back to school yesterday to get Geog papers for practising on. Luckily, I had no problems getting into the school, especially since security is tighter now. It felt good to be back at someplace familiar. Every thing's still where it used to be, so familiar, so comforting.
I haven't attended to school for half a year now, and it feels really empty. I wake up every day with nothing to look forward to. No school singers at assembly, no scoldings for not doing my homework, no sitting through interesting or boring classes, no laughing at any jokes.
Life has lost its meaning.
I don't deserve this! I deserve to be in a good school, in the course I want to be in, but I can see that this extra year is helping me to like Math. I shied away from it since failing it in Primary 2. I guess this year will make my life easier when I have to do 2 kinds of Math in the 1st year of Poly, so it's not all bad. Once I get through it, I'll be a true survivor.

Wednesday, June 3rd 2009

Watched two of Charlie Chaplin's films again, the jokes haven't gotten old yet. I watched "The Gold Rush" again today, and noticed that he had a strange, half-English-half-American accent. I just can't match his voice and face! I also noticed that he (his Tramp character) had really good manners! It's really cute of him to tip his hat in greeting or thanks. Good manners are always attractive, I wish more people are/were like him.
His character is always cheerfully optimistic in any bad situation, never a sore loser, and even after he gets pushed and kicked around, he doesn't forget his manners. If I could live like Charlie Chaplin, life would be a breeze.

Had a session of tuition with the new teacher today, and it was slightly better than I thought. I won't lie and say it was fantastic, because it wasn't. It was just below "good", but I managed to clarify some things I didn't understand, some topics I couldn't do before. I can't remember the teacher's name, but I think I can push that aside for now. Anyway, she was droning on about some question in Math-lingo, and I remember staring at the question, but my mind was elsewhere. I distinctively remember thinking,"What the hell is she talking about?", but after I asked her to rephrase, she put it in lesser words, in English, and I understood perfectly. Hmm.

Groomed more locks today, and Dad told me to "stop wasting time on that kind of thing ah!", but I ignored it. I'm getting better at the crochet-needle thing, my locks are turning out nicer than the ones I did 2 days ago. I don't think I can finish them all before Friday, though. I've only done 12 so far, but I don't look too funny with some done and some undone, only I've never noticed how messy the undone ones looked.

Didn't do any Math today. I don't actually know why. I had tuition for 2 hours, and didn't do any other Math today. Gonna do Art tonight, though. Will do more Math tomorrow if I can to catch up. Can't afford to fall behind. Luckily, my Math schedule for the 1st textbook ends just before the 2nd week of June, so I have some free days to finish if I haven't already done so by then.

Oh yah, I forgot to mention one thing. I mentioned, to my tuition teacher, that I was an Art student, and will be re-taking the paper this year. She saw my exercise book full of Math sums (which, by now, looks most impressive!) and exclaimed about how neat it was! I looked at her, and she said something about me being an Art student and how she could tell by my neat exercise book full of sums.
Art students are supposed to be the messy lot, the Science and Math kids are the neat-freak ones. Somehow she associated neatness with being an Art student.
What the hell's the connection between the two?!

Tuesday, June 2nd 2009

Woah, my exercise regimen really works! My trousers felt looser on me today, and I haven't gone on a diet or anything, I'm eating whatever I want, whenever I want to, only I've been exercising regularly. My exercise regimen isn't too tough. I jog/run for 2 evenings per week for about 1-1+1/2 hours each time. Every morning, I do conditioning exercises: 50 crunches, 30 push-ups, 30 back-ups and 30 bench-lifts. Doesn't hurt too much, and I do more when I can, like when I'm jogging at the park.

Been watching more of Charlie Chaplin, his movies are hilarious! I prefer the silent ones, though. Something about them just seem more appealing than the talkies, maybe because we take talkies for granted. I think Charlie Chaplin looks more handsome in costume. When I was young, I thought this was his natural look! He looks much cuter in his costume and toothbrush moustache, I like his curly hair and sheepish grin.

Anyway, on the not-so-bright-side, my parents have hired a tutor, and I'm having the first class tomorrow. It's one-on-one, but I'm still a little worried. Tutors have never worked for me before, like that one time my parents hired this China woman to teach me both Chinese and Math. My Chinese is bad enough already, right? She taught Math in Chinese! Obviously, it didn't work out.

Bought two crochet needles yesterday, and have been grooming my dreadlocks. I've been tightening them and making them blunt, so the tip doesn't just stick out and get undone. So far, I've only done 6 of them. You wouldn't believe how tedious it is to crochet the dreads! It took me about 2 hours to do 2 of them! Today's a little faster, but still tedious. I have about 50 locks on my head! (I lost count halfway) I hope to finish them by Friday so I don't look like an idiot when I meet up with V for a movie.

Sunday, May 31st 2009

My parents finally threw the disgusting kitchen cloth away! Actually, they threw it out the day after I showed them the kitchen cloth germs, but I forgot to type about it.

I'm starting YOGA! No, not taking any classes, just following library books. Teaching myself Yoga and Pilates, it would be good for me since I'm often slumped over my studies nowadays, doing endless Math exercises, trapped indoors with no fresh air whatsoever. Today, I did Yoga for the first time, and it was great! I can't even explain it, it's just that you feel stretches in parts of your body you never even knew existed. After doing Yoga, I felt really, really at ease and calm, and was so relaxed that I almost fell asleep.
I wish my room had open-able windows like my parents', it's not fair. My room's always so stuffy and I never get to see the open sky through those windows. Even the gaps are sealed with masking tape! "To keep the air con from leaking out," they say.
Bullshit.

Worked hard today, I realised that I can concentrate so much better at the library. At home, there's just too much snooping around and glaring going on for me to do any work. I shall go to the library more often, been falling a little behind in my Math schedule cos I couldn't concentrate on Thursday. Must clear it, if not, it'll pile up.

I've finally discovered how to use a crochet needle to maintain my dreadlocks! Well, I relied on Youtube videos and their comments, but I think I can do it! Dread ends are coming loose. Shall go look for a crochet needle sometime, gotta buy more shampoo, too. Bloody shampoo is so expensive, but gotta use it. Dreads really are high-maintenance, but I like being an 'individual'.

Am compiling a list of things I want for my birthday (Jul 5), but most of the things I want are either too expensive or very rare/out of use. Anyway, here's the list if you guys suddenly decide to give me something. I daringly request! Hinting is useless nowadays.

1) Scientific microscope (for bacteria-viewing) (at least $400-500)
2) Banjo (not easy to find!) ($300-500)
3) LEGO- medieval market set (large) ($200-300)
4) Typewriter (manual, long out of use) ($???)
5) Little Rascals complete set DVDs ($100-200)
6) Pair of 3-pound dumbells ($15-20)
7) Book vouchers (Kinokuniya/Borders)

Saturday, May 30th 2009

Charlie Chaplin is quickly becoming my favourite person of all time. He's just so cute and lovely, with the kind of spirit that makes you never want to grow up. Can you feel it? It's right there in his moustache.

Just finished watching "Modern Times", one of Charlie Chaplin's films. I guess it was "Modern" in 1936, but it was hilarious, laughed all the way through! His character is so quirky and talented. You should see him roller-skate blind-folded, I was holding my breath! He skates right to the edge of this really big hole in the floor, and justttt manages to stay on the floor, all the while blind-folded. Woah, he can do anything! Uncle Vernon was right, Charlie Chaplin is one talented guy.

Friday, May 29th 2009

Gah! I hate this.

Here I am, wanting to watch "Brokeback Mountain" on the computer, but I can't! I have to do it secretly because my family members poke their noses into places into other people's privacy a lot. My parents would immediately assume that it's porn or something.
I dunno what's the big deal anyway. I should be allowed to watch anything, it's not as if I haven't seen it all already??? Television reveals a lot nowadays, and I read books, you know. "Brokeback Mountain" is a homosexual story, but it doesn't reveal anything. It just shows men kissing, but my parents would die if they saw that. Don't really know what's their problem, I guess they're just part of "society".

I can't wait till my parents are out of the country again. I mean, do you want your parents to be watching TV with you when people are kissing or having sex on the screen? I can't stand it! It's so awkward. "Brokeback Mountain" doesn't revolve around sex, you know. In fact, it barely has any.
I think we need more gay-themed movies in the world, that's why am anticipating "I love you Phillip Morris". These movies don't revolve around sex, it doesn't even matter if they have any.

Thursday, May 28th 2009

I had the most amazing experience today!

I went for my weekly run, and today I went to Bishan Park to work out. Did push-ups, sit-ups, bench press-ups and monkey-bars. General jogging/running. On my way home, I started to really run. It was a long stretch of pavement, so I didn't have to stop. It was cool in the evening, but I was already really sweaty. I was feeling really weak by then, having done a lot of conditioning exercises, but when I started running, my legs didn't want to stop. They just kept carrying me forward, home. It was an experience, I tell you. Never knew the thrill of running. Now I know!

Couldn't concentrate on any work today. I managed to force myself through a few questions, but that was all, so I planned out my weekend instead. Tomorrow, I'm going for some sort of Choral Talk by some guy, then am gonna try to do Math. On Sat, I shall go to Daiso to buy wood and organising trays, and Esplanade library to borrow some Charlie Chaplin and old romantic comedies. On Sun, am gonna catch up and get an early start on Math for next week. I want to go to IKEA on Sat as well, but it's out of the way, and maybe there won't be time. Maybe V will go with me after her exams.

I finally showed Mom, Dad and Sis the germs I've been growing. Mom only freaked out at the tongue. Naturally, because the tongue one looks the grossest. It's the most... plentiful, put it that way. The toilet germs look very weak, little black specks all over, the nose germs are still the same, the dishcloth germs are brown in colour and growing rapidly. I hope Dad decides to throw the cloth away.

Wednesday, May 27th 2009

It felt so good to step out of the house for the first time in 3 days! I've been working hard, doing Math day and night. Just can't seem to get any Art done, though I've been getting sources to draw. SS and Geog aren't doing so well, I got angry doing SS at V's house the other day, so I only managed to do 1 and a 1/2 questions properly. SS is so stupid. Geog isn't as bad, nothing to be angry about, but I gotta take more time to look at my notes and stuff. It's been so much Math recently, I've lost touch with everything/everyone else.
Dad was going to yell at me about wanting to go to Kinokuniya today, but I stopped him, telling him that I deserve something for all the studying I've been doing. He can't deny that, because I do my Math outside where he can see, and my conscience is clear, am keeping well to my Math schedule. It's the other subjects I'm worried about.

Anyway, spent the evening at Kinokuniya. Browsed medical books, literature, sociology, cultural studies and true crime. Read a bit of Marquis de Sade's work. Disturbing, yet fascinating. Also X-rated to the extreme. I hope nobody saw me reading that book.
At the medical section, I looked through the anatomy books. I can't remember which one I intended to buy last year, one with really good paintings. Oh, well. I hope that by this time next year, I'll own one of those really detailed medical books and be studying medicine.
I actually went to Kinokuniya with a goal, I was looking for a book called "I love you Phillip Morris". V showed me the trailer of the show, and I can't stop thinking about it. The whole story is incredible. I did a bit of research on the movie and found that it's actually based on a book, true story, so I went to Kinokuniya to look for it. I was lucky, I got the last copy. They found it in the true crime section. Bloody expensive, too. I would never have bought it if I hadn't the $20 gift voucher. Even with that, I had to pay about $30 for it. Hardcovers sure are pricey nowadays.

I was happy with my book, and proceeded to "Art Friend" to check out the wood. I guess I forgot to mention that I've taken up a new hobby- woodcrafting! I discovered it when I went shopping with V at Daiso the other day, and bought a few packs of wooden bricks and sticks. I figured that it might be worth a try, since I've been playing with LEGO a lot recently. I was right, it is fun, but there never seems to be enough wood. Gotta buy more bricks some time to complete my clock tower. So far, I've built a house, a bridge, a windmill, a barrel of rum, and part of a clock tower.
After "Art Friend", I went to the basement of Takashimaya, and saw that the children's toys and apparel fair is up! I went in and walked around, hoping to find some LEGO on sale. I eventually did, but it was as expensive as hell. The guy who's face is on the box looks really happy, though. I guess he must be the manager of LEGO or something, and he's shown playing with a truck.
LEGO, of course.
Then, I saw how much the box of LEGO costs. Over $300!!! Bloody hell, man! Even after discount, it costs about $200! I got my small tub of LEGO for about $20+ at a major toy sale, I recall. It's not much, but it's enough to build a small house with. $300??? There are kids out there who can barely afford to play with twigs! This is what Social Studies does to the world. It creates problems and then forces us to study them.

Some girl stopped me at Orchard, asking me if I were local. I guess it must be my hair that did it. She introduced herself as -(some japanese name spoken really quickly)-, and said she was from some model agency, etc etc. I wasn't really listening. Plus, her accent was so thick that I didn't really get what she was saying. All I know is that she gave me some name-card, took down my mobile no. and name, and said they'll call me.

Feel free to call, baby, I'm hardly with my cell.

Saturday, May 23rd 2009

Just read about some issue between Clay and Adam Lambert. The article was off Yahoo.com. I'm pretty sure I'm still rooting for Clay, and what ever Adam chooses to do, I can't really be bothered. Couldn't care less!
I do agree that after the first few seasons of "American Idol", the talent and judging have gone down the drain, but it's up to society. I've got better things to worry about. There are other gay people besides those two, why kick up such a fuss?

There's something twisted about Hollywood. Every person who goes in there and gets famous ends up crazy. You guys have seen enough tabloid articles and gossip magazines to know. All that glitz and fame is somewhat attractive, but hey, there's a price to pay for everything you do, every decision.
Everybody has the right to make their own decisions, to live their own life, but I think the press is getting bored and desperate.

Friday, May 22nd 2009

Charlie Chaplin was a great man. Been watching his videos on Youtube, and they're hilarious! I keep laughing in front of the computer.
I wish the world still had great people like that.

Over to V's place to study tomorrow, we're going to the study room. Gonna see if I can get ahead of my schedule in Math again, and do some SS and Geog.
I can't even express, in words, how much I hate the chapter on Indices!

My germs have been growing fine. The nose container has 3 types of germs now. These germs are quite neat. One is a black speck with a white dot in the middle, the other one is scattered white specks, and the last is a misty layer. The mouth container still has the same types of germs as yesterday or so, but the black germs are splitting much faster. They're spreading and climbing up the walls of the container! Gahh!

Thursday, May 21st 2009

I've made interesting scientific progress! Personally, of course. People have discovered so much more than what I have, so this comes as no surprise to brilliant biologists.
I've been growing germs. The last time I tried this, my gelatine-sugar solution didn't harden, but a certain stringy type of bacterium landed on it and multiplied, so I got a liquidy solution full of black stringy webs. Never mind. I didn't dare open it for fear that I might die, so I left it there until, hopefully, the sugar and air ran out of the petri-dish and they died. Mom threw the whole thing away.
This time, however, I grew germs that live on the tongue and in the nose. In 2 seperate containers, I poured the gelatine-sugar solution that I made, this time with more gelatine and more sugar. The problem was that it didn't have the correct gelatine:water ratio, so my solution didn't harden into agar jelly. This time, it worked pretty swell. I used a tongue-scraper to scrape the upper side of my tongue, and used a cotton-bud to transfer the yucky stuff onto the agar jelly of one container. Then, I sealed it and labelled it "mouth".

Then, I did the nose. Used a cotton-bud to get some moisture from my nose. As you know, the nasal passage is lined with a mucous membrane, and the inside of the nose is practically crawling with germs, so I just swiped the used cotton-bud onto the agar jelly of the second container. This time, I labelled it "nose", and sealed it.

I got a bit worried at first because the tongue obviously had a lot of substance for germ-growth. The nose, however, was just colourless moisture, so I wasn't sure it would grow.
5 days later, here they are! The tongue container has 4 different types of bacteria in it, and they range in colours yellow, light brown, brown and black. Fascinating to see what grows on your tongue.
The nose container wasn't as successful. It had growth, all right, but the agar jelly collasped and turned into a half-liquid state, but there are 2 different types of germs living in it. One is simply a black patch slowly expanding, the other is a white-yellow misty layer near the top of the agar jelly.

It's so cool! Today, I cooked up some more agar jelly in 2 more containers, and I plan to take bacteria from the disgusting kitchen cloth (used for everything) and barely washed. Occasionally, my parents give it a quick rinse (water only) under the tap, but there are all the visible food bits and unknown substances stuck in the cloth fibres, and the moisture just encourages bacterial growth. I've seen flies land on that thing! I never, ever touch it.

I'm not sure what I should put in the other container of agar jelly. Bacteria from my Dad's 10-20 years old dentures (still in use, never brushed or soaked in denture solution), or the toilet bowl water? I don't know which is more disgusting, but I'm afraid that the germs from my Dad's dentures might turn out to be the same type that were lurking on my tongue. I'm sure there are more dangerous types lurking in-between his dentures, though, but I wanna know whats lurking in the toilet!
Did you know that every time you flush the toilet, you get coated in germs and other particles from the toilet bowl? That's why I always run out the moment I flush it. Can you imagine people who don't scrub their hands with soap after using the loo? Or worse, holding your boyfriend's hand after he used the toilet and didn't wash with soap!

Gasp!

Tuesday, May 19th 2009

Called the ASD today, and they said that all their dogs aren't HDB-approved, so I guess we'll have to continue our search for the perfect dog, then.

Just finished watching "Big Fish" online, it was lovely. It's one of those movies where it's impossible not to cry while watching, like "Click", and so cried like hell. Was sobbing in front of the computer, hoping my parents wouldn't see me.

Did my Math as usual, and then played 2 rounds of "Lego". I built a prison this time, but the only two Lego people I have are men, and strangely, one bigger than the other. So I have a big man and little man. The little man has a mustache and fix-on hair.
I wish I had a medieval-Lego set. I've always been interested in the middle ages, the life and epidemics and stuff. People were punished for the smallest things, like stealing a goat or something.

Today, I did research on medieval punishments and the implements of torture. They were really harsh, people were burned alive for being suspected of committing a crime, and they thought that if your body, tied up, floated in water, you were guilty of a crime. If you were to sink, you weren't guilty, but then where's the logic? If nobody saved you, you'd die anyway.
We've come a long way in corporal punishment. Our worst punishments now are death sentences, quick and painless. I don't know whether to be thankful or embarrassed?

Monday, May 18th 2009

"Angels and Demons" wasn't entirely terrible, there was a lot of suspense and scary-sounding choir music, and the acting was quite bad. The only thing I really liked about it was the twist near the end when they found out that the priest branded himself. The acting was good when he "branded" himself, I could feel the pain. I think Ewan McGregor's acting was much better in "The Island" and "Moulin Rouge".

Sis and I are finally taking the steps to adopt a dog. We took about 1/2 a year to make the decision. Mom's currently grumpy, so she just complained about how I don't have time, etc. Bullshit, Dad's forcing Math down my throat even though I'm ahead of my Math schedule and can't even watch TV without being spied on, and Bro is so selfish, he can't take 5 mins out of his free time to help me fix my Sims 2, so I'm reduced to playing "LEGO".
Thank God for "LEGO". All my frustration goes into that.

I feel like I'm suffocating. Dad's expecting a 17 year old kid to follow in his footsteps- sitting home all day doing nothing. Dad's not even happy when I want to go to another library besides the AMK library. I need companionship, man. I used to tell Rabbit everything, and he would snuggle up with me and listen. Now he's gone and I have to repeat a year and Dad's suffocating me and I have to vent on "LEGO", I really want someone to listen again. I'd gladly spend time with the dog, walk it, play with it, feed and clean up after it. It would be such a relief, you wouldn't believe how frustrating it is to be trapped at home and not be allowed to do anything. My parents aren't being at all supportive about my situation.
I can't stand it. Dad has never even studied as hard as I have, he said so himself. He went fishing instead.

Spent Sunday studying at Esplanade library with V. We were hardworking, I did more Math than I planned to, and V worked on her project on some kidney disease. Borrowed 2 DVDs and more music. This time, it's celtic harp music and spanish guitar music.
Mozart's violin sonatas are starting to sound the same as one another, so I think I'll give it a break for now. I want more symphonies, but it seems like I already have most of them (only the ones in the library). I'll take another look next week.

Friday, May 15th 2009 (post 2)

Finally got to finish watching "Edward Scissorhands", and it's lovely. It's so innocent, even the storyline was innocent. Nice to know that Edward fell in love and all that, but it's not your average teenage love story. More surreal.
I like his hair, it looks like mine.

Don't know why people are so upset about Malaysia's one case of swine flu. It's an epidemic that kills, but it's just helping our bodies to adjust for the future. Think of all the past epidemics we've had and how we've gotten past them.
Also, I don't really care about the swine flu. It's just not worth my time. Should I die of swine flu, so be it. It's a cruel world. People are too selfish and greedy now to deserve anything good.

Meeting V tomorrow for a movie, we're gonna watch "Angels and Demons", something I've been wanting to watch since "Constantine". Never knew the storyline of "Angels and Demons", so maybe it would be a good experience. It's said to be offensive to the Catholic church, but everybody seems to be unhappy about something all the time. I think they're just too picky and critical, and their lives are too boring so they have to stir up some fuss to fill in the blanks.

Library early on Sunday to study and look for music and videos. Sunday is a bonus, I'm "not supposed" to study on weekends, I deserve the break, but anything would be better than staying home with one insensitive parent and the other high-pitched. I can't take any more of Dad pretending to walk past me when he's actually glaring at me and my Math. Don't know what's his problem, but it would take too much effort to find out, so I'll just avoid it. My parents are some of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet.
Don't know why they can't just be grateful that their kid isn't just going to give up completely and not study. They don't realise that it's my decision, they can't force me to study even if they threatened to kill me. This is when being stubborn really comes in handy for me. When I want something very much, I'll definitely work for it. It would, however, be much easier without all this negativity around the house. A lovely, supportive pair of parents would be nice for a change.

1 day.

Friday, May 15th 2009

WELL, WELL, WELL. Guess what!

Someone just stole our bike! LOL. I told Mom and Dad not to put it outside in the first place, but they insisted, saying there was "no space" for it in the house since they wanted new shoe racks. Tuh! Anyway, I was cruel enough to say "I told you so!"
Our door camera got it all on tape, only the quality is horrible and it captured nothing but blurred images of two Indian men cutting open the lock and stealing the bike. My parents are watching it over and over like it's the most exciting movie ever. I guess it's true that in their lives, exciting things rarely happen, so it's natural for them to make a big deal out of it.
I don't feel bad about our bike. It was really heavy and it was "gold", which is a horrible colour to pick. What were they thinking?! I didn't like to bring it around since it was heavy, and was embarrassed to be seen with the hideous "gold" colour, so I never used it much, and everyone else was too busy to use it. It was a shared bike.
If the guys who stole it are gonna use it more often and put it indoors and all that, I think the bike will have a better life with them.

Mom was all paranoid saying things like "Wah! These men are so dangerous, armed with a big lock-cutter you know! These are the "kind" who break into houses one!" and wants to report it to the police.
First of all, the police have better things to do, like to watch TV. The last time we visited the police post to report some guy, the police at the desk were fiddling with something, obviously bored to death. They took our evidence and said they would "be in touch". Secondly, anybody can buy a lock-cutter from any tool-shop. It doesn't even have to be a proper lock-cutter, even a pair of gardening shears would do.
As for the "kind", I think she just doesn't like people with coloured skin.

Wednesday, May 13th 2009

Stupid Youtube. I need help on my Vaccai Lesson IV and wanted to hear it on Youtube, but they had everything but Lesson IV! Am having problems with bars 4-6. Have played it countless times on the piano but still not sure if I can do it. Every time I try it without the piano, the tune goes all funny. I can't wait to graduate to the next lesson.

I read that about 3000 people die from malaria in Africa every day, and approximately, every 30 seconds, someone gets bitten by an infected mosquito. So, in a week, 21ooo people die of malaria in Africa alone.
Woooah! Here we are making a big fuss over Mas Selamat being captured, or some woman who died overseas.
Says a lot about our society, doesn't it?

Poor Africa. Due to the cripplingly large population that does not have enough food to eat or clean water to use, Africa is a target for all sorts of infectious and excruciating diseases like Ebola.
Ebola is actually quite fascinating, but the people infected really suffer. Basically, you start bleeding externally from many parts of your body, your blood vessels get cut so you get red-purple spots all over under your skin. You also get organ damage and they eventually turn into mush. There's diarrhea, vomiting of blood and nausea.

Singapore is wayyy too sheltered.

Tuesday, May 12th 2009

Could you die?!

I've been listening to my new Philippe Jaroussky CD on repeat, and haven't stopped except for the occasional breaks I take from my Math. Haven't gotten bored of it yet, nowhere near. It's like liquid chocolate, thick and heavenly, and even though you know you'll get sick from too much chocolate, you want to drown in it.

My favourite is still "A Chloris". Once I find a way to put the song on my blog, I'll put it up. I really want to know how he hits high notes so accurately and cleanly after a really big jump. Then again, he's been taking voice lessons since he was 18, and he's 30-31 now, so I have many years to perfect my singing and foreign languages!

Monday, May 11th 2009

The French are so passionate, I'm drowning in their love songs.
You wouldn't believe how excited I was to collect my CD today, I was hyperventilating. The nice man at the counter recognised me and complimented me on my hair.

After that, I went to Esplanade to do Math and borrow stuff. Borrowed Mozart and Latin American guitar music, as well as the videos of the "Little Rascals" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It truly was a rewarding day, another rewarding experience. I worked so hard for that CD, and I've truly earned it. Feels really good.
I've only had time to listen up to track 20 on "Opium", but it's lovely music. The name befits the music, it's very dreamy and light-headed, and the love songs are beautiful. I like the lyrics in "A Chloris" the most.

"S'il est vrai, Chloris, que tu m'aimes,
Mais j'entends, que tu m'aimes bien,
Je ne crois point que les rois memes
Aient un bonheur pareil au mien.
Que la mort serait importune
A venir changer ma fortune
Pour la felicite de cieux!
Tout ce qu'on dit de l'ambroisie
Ne touche point ma fantaisie
Au prix des graces de tes yeux."

"If it is true, Chloris, that you love me
(And I understand that you really do love me),
I do not believe that even kings
Could know such happiness as I do.
What a nuisance it would be
If death intervened to exchange my good fortune
With the joys of heaven!
All that they say about ambrosia
Does not fire my imagination
So much as the favour of your eyes."

Sunday, May 10th 2009

Going to HMV to collect my CD tomorrow, I can't wait! I'll probably lose sleep tonight, but it doesn't matter. After that, I shall go over to library @ Esplanade to do Math and borrow videos and music. It'll be nice to get away from the house and its confinement.

T'was a very "Disney" day, watched two DVDs by Disney today. I was brought back to my childhood when I watched "My Boyfriend's Back" again. I first watched it when I was 4, but I didn't know the title, so I spent 11-12 years looking for the movie. Someone on Yahoo! Answers finally told me, and my sis ordered it from Amazon.com for my birthday. I remember singing the song "Hanging on for dear life" in the shower when I was 4. Lovely show, really. I love the song, too. It gives me strength.

The next one I saw was "Beauty and the Beast". Classic, but I never got to watch the movie until 2 years ago or so. Deprived childhood, I know, but it's okay, I think I turned out all right. T'was a long and very bumpy road, and once I pass Math and get into the course I want, I can finally say "I've made it".

Mother's Day today, so family and I went out to dinner at Westlake. Food wasn't fantastic, wonder why people like it? Spent half the day painting a shirt. This time, I painted the words "Never Say Die" on the front, and the picture of a battery on the back.
It would be a nice reminder myself that I shouldn't give up every time I look in the mirror (many times in a day!). It's pretty tough not to give up after 5 hours of Math a day, I tell you, so I think the shirt would help me get through Hell another time.
I'm halfway through already.
I've convinced myself that a kid who studied in the Normal (Acad) stream in secondary school and failed Math at 'O' levels (since Pri 2!) can get into one of the top courses in Polytechnics, and I'm doing my part in studying hard and keeping to my planned schedule.
Every time I work so hard and start to think that it won't pay off, something good miraculously happens to me, and it keeps me going. The last few times have been the arrival of CDs that I wanted, who knows what it may be next?

6 days.

Saturday, May 9th 2009 (post 2)

WOO HOO!

The nice man at HMV just called my house to tell me that my order is in! More than 2 weeks ago, I went to HMV to ask about PJ's new CD, "Opium". The French one. It wasn't in yet, but the nice man helped me place an order, and I thanked him again over the phone. Shall go to collect it over the next few days, I'm so excited! I must've done something right again, or maybe it's just the studying hard.
The last time my order came in was when I managed to resist hitting my idiotic supervisor.

It hasn't been a bad day, went out with V to Esplanade to study today. We knew the libraries were gonna be closed, but we didn't wanna stay home, so we decided to sit somewhere at Esplanade to study. I did Math, as usual. This week has been Hell, because I had to finish the chapter on Arithmetic, and I did! I'm proud of myself, and Math doesn't seem so tough anymore. It's do-able now, but I slogged away at Math for an average of 5 hours per day this week. Maybe that's why I got the CD! :D

Good, good Xiulin!

Saturday, May 9th 2009

"It Happened One Night" is one of my fav romantic comedies. I love the part when everybody starts dancing around in the bus, singing "The Man on the Flying Trapeze". I picked the picture above because it's hilarious, from a scene when they were trying to hitch-hike.

I realised that my idols have gone from young and vibrant to old and dead! I guess the people I idolise are still lovely in their own ways and qualities, but I feel that the dead ones are the greatest.
There was Clay Aiken, then came Audrey Hepburn and Elvis Presley, then Bob Marley, Clark Gable and Bruce Lee. The last 5 people are dead, but they were some of the greatest people ever. Oh, yes, and not to forget Franco, who is probably still alive!

Friday, May 8th 2009

Woah, I'm SO frustrated right now!

I just spent the last hour trying to get the song on my blog to auto-play. I pain-stakingly copied and pasted the auto-play code in the embed code many times. Alas, it didn't pay off. It won't budge, so I guess you guys will have to click on the "play" button till I find a way to make it auto-play. PLAY IT!
Uploaded another song. This one's by Bob Marley, "Redemption Song".

Finally talked to Sabby again, we didn't get to say goodbye. She's happy and doing well in China now, and still in a choir. I really miss her bimbotic-ness and the whole "Sabulous" concept, whenever the seniors gathered to sing, we always felt there was something missing. Sabby has a certain confidence and spirit about her that people like, and I hope to see her in Italy again!

Been opening up to people recently and finally talking to them. I kept my mouth tightly shut since 31st Jan 09 when the posting results came out, but I feel better about myself now. Never had guilty feelings about my results, so it's not bad, my conscience doesn't eat away at me because I got average results and failed Math.
I'm glad to know that a lot of people are headed for bright futures, though I never thought they'd end up where they are now. Some are doing business, music, art, sciences, and some are like me, just trying again, harder. It's great to hear that nobody is just going to give up and live their lives stuck in a dead-end job (never in Hell!). Our parents may not be very tactful, but being stubborn can be good sometimes.

I realised that a lot of people thought I was gonna end up in NAFA or Laselle doing music.
Mark my words- I'm going to end up where you least expect it!

Wednesday, May 6th 2009

Joe Dirt.

Well, I went through 5 and a half hours of Math today. I had a splitting headache by the time I was through, and I was stoning involuntarily. The numbers almost blinded me.
My dad told me he saw my Math, and exclaimed about how easy it seemed, and then he scolded me because the textbook Math seemed easy to him. What the hell? This came from the guy who asked me how to spell "choice". I told him I don't know why it seems so easy.

Finished my drawing of the rabbit's skull after another several hours of toiling away, did the shading and all that. It looks nicer than the source! At least the hard work paid off. I hope the hard work for Math pays off.
It had better pay off.

Meanwhile, I've been watching episodes of "Merlin" on Hallmark, and though the music is cheesy, the show itself is pretty good. It has an attractive cast, and dare I say, lead actor. I like how Colin Morgan looks like a little boy in the role of Merlin. He's barely 23! I think he's cute, in a skinny puppy kind of way. Nice eyes.
"Merlin" is my weekly motivation to study. It's the reward I give myself when I finish my Math on time (2 exercises per day). An exercise sounds easy to do, wait till you try to dissect the bloody textbook. EVERY question has to be done, every answer has to be correct, and I have to do it again and again till I arrive at the correct answer. I bet the person who came up with Mathematics must've been cursed countless times.
The nice thing is that nobody is forcing me to do this. It's the revelation of something new: self-discipline! I guess I learned/gained a lot of that in choir under Mrs Low, and whaddayouknow, I'm applying it! My home-study schedule is a lot like going to school, only that it starts later. I reward myself with watching "The Nanny" or "Friends" or "The Simpsons", and the occasional "Merlin" on TV.

Of course, the biggest things that are driving me are the aim of getting into Med School, and Joe Dirt's optimism.
"Things are gonna happen for me, all's I gotta do is keep being a good person, no matter what, good things will come my way."

Tuesday, May 5th 2009

Spent more than 5 hours doing Math today. The first 4 hours were straight, then I took a break because my brain froze, then did the rest between shower and dinner so my hair would have sufficient time to dry off. I usually give it about 3 hours cos they're dreaded.
Stupid textbook exercises on Arithmetic, took me more than 5 hours to complete 2 exercises! I almost died!

Just finished sketching the outline of a rabbit skull, will put in details tomorrow. It was a little bit frustrating when I couldn't get the length of teeth right, but my frustration perfected it.
I've noticed that I suck at drawing anything besides inner anatomy. I can draw a heart, a foot, a hand, a muscle, a jaw. Even my brain drawing looked like a brain though it was missing a big chunk! I can draw anatomy as long as it's in the body, beneath the skin.
My architecture drawings aren't too bad, they look presentable though they're often miscalculated. I usually can't draw people, faces or animals, though I pulled off drawing a zebra with soft pastels.
Miscalculated, but pulled it off.
Ms Ho used to say I "like to make my life difficult", because somehow my Art brainstorming would lead to drawing ridiculously difficult things with a lot of detail. I can't help it if anatomy was created complicated!! I don't think she was joking when she said I "like to make my life difficult", but she helped me with my drawing details anyway.

Watched "Hannibal Rising" on DVD this morning, paid special attention to the art Hannibal pins on his bedroom walls. Damn, I wish I could draw like that! However, searched online on google and flickr for photos of human dissection, but didn't find any good enough to draw. Hannibal's were very, very detailed drawings, and the artist who sponsored the drawings for the movie either had a specimen in front of him, or has a very vivid imagination.
I love the one he did on the dissected human cheek.

Monday, May 4th 2009

I can't believe I actually looked forward to researching on Sigmund Freud! Does that name sound familiar to you?

He was an Austrian genius who majored in 5 medical fields, Philosophy and Literature, but most known for psychoanalysis. Researching on him was so boring, because all they talked about were his theories, and then they put a picture of him posing with a cigar.
He's one smart guy, but too boring.
Now that I've read up on him, I know that there's really such a thing as studying too much.

By the way, I actually forced myself to finish the extra Math before I did research on him. I can't believe it! Oh, well, all in good time, I guess. My reward today is that Dad bought some Bostik white-tack so I could finally attach my Elvis poster to the ceiling of my bed.
Always nice to be reminded that the world's biggest superstars came from humble beginnings.

Did research on quotes this morning, those by Elvis P and Bob M. Elvis didn't really say much, I prefer reading books about his life. Bob, however, said a lot. I'll type out a few I found quite nice.

"Money can't buy life"

"When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open"

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds"

Hey, it doesn't take a genius to understand life.