Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I'm through with hoping

Argh.Feeling depressed.
My life is all messed up.There are too many problems.Sigh.I mean,yeah I'm lucky enough to have a bed to sleep on,food to eat and stuff like that.I can understand that nobody's life is perfect.Sigh.I don't mind going through all the he-ll in secondary 2 again...I just don't wanna leave.I'd lose all my teachers.Sigh.
And,I'd be friend-less too.I wish I could rewind back to the first half of secondary 1,before everything happened.Maybe I should just rewind my life away -.-" Dad's going mad.He wants to buy TWO new digital cameras,which we don't need.He has already bought one,he's planning to buy another.He's crazy,he is.Just months ago,before he discovered the 'wonders of digital cameras',he was always drilling me about wasting money.Now here he is,doing exactly.The camera which he had bought costs about $700.Ugh.
Anyway nothing much has been happening recently.I started playing Ragnarok.It's a pretty cool game,actually.The colours are abit dull.Other than that the game's alright.I wanna get out of this house but I have no excuse to.I want to roam about for the day on my own but dad simply won't allow it.I just wanna go to MPH at Raffles City or something.Then maybe wander round The Marketplace,looking at the wide selection of cheese and stuff.Maybe get an ice-cream waffle at New Zealand Natural.Maybe after that go to Suntec City and walk around the shops,especially MPH and Carrefour...Sigh.No way am I going to be allowed out to be free.Dad would think I'm going out to meet some boy or something.Hah.Whatever.Oh,did I mention that I accidentally cut myself?I was cutting an ice block.Well,frozen milo packet,that is.And well the third finger on my left hand was under a thin strip of wrapper that I was trying to cut,and it gave way and the next thing I knew,there was a cut on my finger.It didn't really hurt because the ice block numbed it.So I was like 'cool'.I put that finger under the running water,then put a plaster over it.Somehow that seemed kinda fun.
Nevermind.I shall stay home all through this week,trapped.Sigh. -Xiu.

[Maybe I should run away.
Maybe I should disappear.
Maybe I should find a place where no one knows I'm there.
-Where do you go when the tears run dry?]
'Tears Run Dry' by Clay Aiken.