It's been a blur.
A total, stressful, exhausting blur.
Chemistry, drifting thoughts, short attention spans, droning lecturers, baffling material, draggy tutorials.
Lonely hours, vague feeling of insecurity, an impending fear.
Depression, depression, depression.
I am in dire need of milk.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Saturday, April 24th 2010
I just survived 3 torturous hours of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry.
I am being driven by doubts and fears in different aspects of my life. All this negativity is taking a toll on me, my soul, my body, my feelings, my thoughts.
Dark soldiers are trying to invade my castle and claim it as their own, and I, at the top of the tallest tower, am instructing my army to defend it. My army is holding up, for now, but I fear they won't be able to take it for much longer. How will they survive doing this for 3 whole years?
Can an army, under pressure, tired and injured, get stronger over time?
The dark soldiers seem to be multiplying. With evil grins painted on their faces, they spear at the gates effortlessly and unrelentingly in the attempt of breaking through. My men are getting tired, I can see it in their eyes, even though they deny it and brush it off with a laugh.
In each and every one of them, lie dreams and hopes of success, of getting what they want in life, of ideal situations, of simplicity in daily routine, of happiness. However, there lies an impending doom, a looming wave of nails. The sharp points gleam menacingly at my poor soldiers, waiting, just waiting for them to let their guard down.
Only then will they proceed to eternally devour my army, along with their hopes and dreams of how life should be.
I am being driven by doubts and fears in different aspects of my life. All this negativity is taking a toll on me, my soul, my body, my feelings, my thoughts.
Dark soldiers are trying to invade my castle and claim it as their own, and I, at the top of the tallest tower, am instructing my army to defend it. My army is holding up, for now, but I fear they won't be able to take it for much longer. How will they survive doing this for 3 whole years?
Can an army, under pressure, tired and injured, get stronger over time?
The dark soldiers seem to be multiplying. With evil grins painted on their faces, they spear at the gates effortlessly and unrelentingly in the attempt of breaking through. My men are getting tired, I can see it in their eyes, even though they deny it and brush it off with a laugh.
In each and every one of them, lie dreams and hopes of success, of getting what they want in life, of ideal situations, of simplicity in daily routine, of happiness. However, there lies an impending doom, a looming wave of nails. The sharp points gleam menacingly at my poor soldiers, waiting, just waiting for them to let their guard down.
Only then will they proceed to eternally devour my army, along with their hopes and dreams of how life should be.
Friday, 23rd April 2010
This small blister appeared on my finger one day, out of nowhere. Perhaps I sub/unconsciously rubbed it against something, or perhaps it's an allergic reaction to something I ate. This is not surprising, I've had worse allergic reactions. Remember the few bouts of rashes that almost made me kill myself? Meh, the blister should disappear pretty soon.
Something upset me tonight, I don't quite feel like typing about it yet. It isn't really that bad, though it struck me pretty hard.
On another topic, I find myself feeling less self-conscious around my Love. I guess we have been spending a lot of time together, and I think I've gotten used to seeing him and being around him. I feel so comfortable around him, conversation just comes naturally, among other things. It is somewhat therapeutic, his company, it works almost as well as a glass of milk.
My day wasn't that great, now that I think about it. First thing in the morning, I was told I had to skip lecture for choir. Dilemma, dilemma. They made me choose. I really didn't want to miss lecture (on Principles of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry), because everyone in class is so 'on' and hardworking, and the lecturer goes through the topics really quickly. I'm so afraid of falling behind, and in the first week, too! It was a work v.s. play dilemma. Work is studies, play is choir. Play won the battle, and I went for choir at the stated time, missing an hour of valuable lecture time. Now, it is my job to catch up on what ever I missed out on. Oh, and to complete a pile of homework.
Talk about stressful.
I keep wanting to work on my Ciaccona but haven't found the time. It's been hectic during the past few weeks, but when the schedule stabilizes, I shall then sit at the library, writing music and stories on my laptop. After I finish studying. :D Kiasu.
I love it that nobody's perfect; it's part of their charm.
Something upset me tonight, I don't quite feel like typing about it yet. It isn't really that bad, though it struck me pretty hard.
On another topic, I find myself feeling less self-conscious around my Love. I guess we have been spending a lot of time together, and I think I've gotten used to seeing him and being around him. I feel so comfortable around him, conversation just comes naturally, among other things. It is somewhat therapeutic, his company, it works almost as well as a glass of milk.
My day wasn't that great, now that I think about it. First thing in the morning, I was told I had to skip lecture for choir. Dilemma, dilemma. They made me choose. I really didn't want to miss lecture (on Principles of Inorganic and Physical Chemistry), because everyone in class is so 'on' and hardworking, and the lecturer goes through the topics really quickly. I'm so afraid of falling behind, and in the first week, too! It was a work v.s. play dilemma. Work is studies, play is choir. Play won the battle, and I went for choir at the stated time, missing an hour of valuable lecture time. Now, it is my job to catch up on what ever I missed out on. Oh, and to complete a pile of homework.
Talk about stressful.
I keep wanting to work on my Ciaccona but haven't found the time. It's been hectic during the past few weeks, but when the schedule stabilizes, I shall then sit at the library, writing music and stories on my laptop. After I finish studying. :D Kiasu.
I love it that nobody's perfect; it's part of their charm.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21st 2010
Methinks parents should welcome a child home with spirits of sweet-naturedness, lest the child detests returning to the abode more and more each day.
If children come home to warmth and love, they would look forward to doing so every day. The security, sweetness, familiarity. The happy conversations at the dinner table. The celebration of Christmas as a family.
However, if children come home to shouting people, angry glares, insensitivity and countless fears, they'd dislike coming home, wouldn't they?
The idea of moving out entered my mind tonight. I had just spent several hours with D having dinner and studying, him with his Business Stats, and I with my Chemistry homework, and was doing a self-reflection during the bus-ride home.
This seems torturous and unfair, the time I waste travelling home each day and being yelled at for it. It's not as if I could make the bus go any faster. What's more, the distance remains the same. It's as much a waste of my time as it is for my parents. I find I feel more and more fed up with living so far from school and everyone I know.
I didn't really entertain the idea of moving out, for it would not be simple. Firstly, I would have to find someplace to stay, near school, in the east. It would probably cost a lot of money, which leads me to my second point, being too swamped with studies, CCA and other things to get a job.
My God, what do I do?
If children come home to warmth and love, they would look forward to doing so every day. The security, sweetness, familiarity. The happy conversations at the dinner table. The celebration of Christmas as a family.
However, if children come home to shouting people, angry glares, insensitivity and countless fears, they'd dislike coming home, wouldn't they?
The idea of moving out entered my mind tonight. I had just spent several hours with D having dinner and studying, him with his Business Stats, and I with my Chemistry homework, and was doing a self-reflection during the bus-ride home.
This seems torturous and unfair, the time I waste travelling home each day and being yelled at for it. It's not as if I could make the bus go any faster. What's more, the distance remains the same. It's as much a waste of my time as it is for my parents. I find I feel more and more fed up with living so far from school and everyone I know.
I didn't really entertain the idea of moving out, for it would not be simple. Firstly, I would have to find someplace to stay, near school, in the east. It would probably cost a lot of money, which leads me to my second point, being too swamped with studies, CCA and other things to get a job.
My God, what do I do?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tuesday, April 20th 2010
V so affectionately called me a nerd yesterday.
I think there's a big difference between a nerd and a hardworking student, the latter of which I am, or, at least, who I hope to be.
Feeling like a nerd is one thing, actually being one is another entirely. Being one would make my life so much easier, I wouldn't have to discipline myself to sit at a table to do my work. It would come naturally, like an urge, an itch or, heaven forbid, a passion.
However, I do believe that a hardworking student is far more impressive than a nerd. It's all in the word "hardworking". There's no way to twist that around. From that, one can derive all sorts of related qualities- discipline, perseverance, balance, willpower. I'd like to think I have all of those qualities, but I doubt it.
Perhaps they'll come with time.
I think there's a big difference between a nerd and a hardworking student, the latter of which I am, or, at least, who I hope to be.
Feeling like a nerd is one thing, actually being one is another entirely. Being one would make my life so much easier, I wouldn't have to discipline myself to sit at a table to do my work. It would come naturally, like an urge, an itch or, heaven forbid, a passion.
However, I do believe that a hardworking student is far more impressive than a nerd. It's all in the word "hardworking". There's no way to twist that around. From that, one can derive all sorts of related qualities- discipline, perseverance, balance, willpower. I'd like to think I have all of those qualities, but I doubt it.
Perhaps they'll come with time.
Monday, 19th April 2010
Today, I went to school for the first time in almost two years.
It's been quite a while since I attended any lessons at school, so it felt really good to be back. I felt so at home, so wanted, so needed, I enjoyed being there. A thirst for knowledge in my mind and Korean beef rice in my tummy, I set out to school, to be hardworking.
The first lecture was Maths.
However, I gazed upon it in a positive mindset, and actually felt eager to read through the thick booklet of notes we were given before the lecture. I saw A-Maths. I saw Indices. I saw Graphs! However, after looking at it closely, I realised they aren't bad at all. I just need to understand the topic first. After APEL, I went to check out the library. I remembered some lecturer mentioning the 7th level having medical books, so I just went there. It was quiet, without many people around. I pretended to gaze at the books, while actually scanning the room for a quiet corner desk to sit at. Finding one, I sat at it gingerly, taking out my notes and writing materials. I went to work.
We were told to read up on the first chapter by Thursday, when we have our next Maths lecture, I think. I read, did the exercises, and shall start on the 2nd chapter tomorrow. During the bus ride home, I flipped through the rest of the notes. My hands twitched with the urge to start doing them.
Man, I feel like such a nerd!
Choir wasn't great tonight, there seemed to be this dark cloud hovering over everyone, so the mood was somewhat gloomy, even though it was Zyndie's birthday (Happy Birthday!). I hadn't the least idea she was attached, that is, until her boyfriend showed up. Hmmm.
Bought my lab coat and goggles today, the smallest size is XS, but when I wore the coat, I felt like I was drowning in it! It was like wearing an XXL-sized dress! I really should get it shortened, if not by a tailor, then my mom. How am I to look cool in a lab coat when it's smothering me?!
D- I cannot believe you stayed up to read this. Go, go, time to sleep!!! :)
It's been quite a while since I attended any lessons at school, so it felt really good to be back. I felt so at home, so wanted, so needed, I enjoyed being there. A thirst for knowledge in my mind and Korean beef rice in my tummy, I set out to school, to be hardworking.
The first lecture was Maths.
However, I gazed upon it in a positive mindset, and actually felt eager to read through the thick booklet of notes we were given before the lecture. I saw A-Maths. I saw Indices. I saw Graphs! However, after looking at it closely, I realised they aren't bad at all. I just need to understand the topic first. After APEL, I went to check out the library. I remembered some lecturer mentioning the 7th level having medical books, so I just went there. It was quiet, without many people around. I pretended to gaze at the books, while actually scanning the room for a quiet corner desk to sit at. Finding one, I sat at it gingerly, taking out my notes and writing materials. I went to work.
We were told to read up on the first chapter by Thursday, when we have our next Maths lecture, I think. I read, did the exercises, and shall start on the 2nd chapter tomorrow. During the bus ride home, I flipped through the rest of the notes. My hands twitched with the urge to start doing them.
Man, I feel like such a nerd!
Choir wasn't great tonight, there seemed to be this dark cloud hovering over everyone, so the mood was somewhat gloomy, even though it was Zyndie's birthday (Happy Birthday!). I hadn't the least idea she was attached, that is, until her boyfriend showed up. Hmmm.
Bought my lab coat and goggles today, the smallest size is XS, but when I wore the coat, I felt like I was drowning in it! It was like wearing an XXL-sized dress! I really should get it shortened, if not by a tailor, then my mom. How am I to look cool in a lab coat when it's smothering me?!
D- I cannot believe you stayed up to read this. Go, go, time to sleep!!! :)
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Sunday, April 18th 2010
The past few days have been a blur.
It all began last week, on Wednesday night when I discovered that I had FOC for the next 3 days. After that, I was given Sunday to rest, which I used to watch "Ugly Betty", I think. Monday brought another orientation camp, this time within Applied Science, and I got to meet my new classmates and Careperson.
Dr Khin seems like a likable character, she speaks in quick hushed tones and smiles a lot. She has this Beatles haircut which, unfortunately, suits her well. Meh. I hope she stays nice and friendly throughout. I think if I work closely with her and my tutors, I'll be able to do well and be a guai kia.
I don't believe I can't do it all.
Choir two days a week after 6pm, studying and revising almost every day for about 2 hours, practising for my voice lessons, juggling my social life...
2 hours of studying zips by pretty quickly. There's just enough time for me to revise what I learn, so as to understand it better and embed it in my memory. I shall hope for more empty spaces in my timetable so I can utilise the time for studies.
Anything seems more desirable than having to go home to grumpy parents and tired people. There's an aura about this place, and it's suffocating. Since Rabbit left me, I haven't found a reason to want to come home. There's nothing here.
School starts tomorrow, thank God. I've been at home for too long. The last time I went to school for lessons was... in 2008. It's been almost two years, can you imagine how much I've suffered? You wouldn't survive a week at home with these people, it'll kill your spirit, it'll make you cynical and sarcastic. It takes strength and sheer willpower to veer off that path.
I've met so many people in Poly already, most of them genuine, friendly ones. They come from neighbourhood schools and speak hokkien, too, but are surprisingly multi-lingual. I don't always understand what they talk about, though. One of my parents may be hokkien, the other teochew, but I have no dialect roots whatsoever, apart from the measly bit of cantonese I understand.
It all began last week, on Wednesday night when I discovered that I had FOC for the next 3 days. After that, I was given Sunday to rest, which I used to watch "Ugly Betty", I think. Monday brought another orientation camp, this time within Applied Science, and I got to meet my new classmates and Careperson.
Dr Khin seems like a likable character, she speaks in quick hushed tones and smiles a lot. She has this Beatles haircut which, unfortunately, suits her well. Meh. I hope she stays nice and friendly throughout. I think if I work closely with her and my tutors, I'll be able to do well and be a guai kia.
I don't believe I can't do it all.
Choir two days a week after 6pm, studying and revising almost every day for about 2 hours, practising for my voice lessons, juggling my social life...
2 hours of studying zips by pretty quickly. There's just enough time for me to revise what I learn, so as to understand it better and embed it in my memory. I shall hope for more empty spaces in my timetable so I can utilise the time for studies.
Anything seems more desirable than having to go home to grumpy parents and tired people. There's an aura about this place, and it's suffocating. Since Rabbit left me, I haven't found a reason to want to come home. There's nothing here.
School starts tomorrow, thank God. I've been at home for too long. The last time I went to school for lessons was... in 2008. It's been almost two years, can you imagine how much I've suffered? You wouldn't survive a week at home with these people, it'll kill your spirit, it'll make you cynical and sarcastic. It takes strength and sheer willpower to veer off that path.
I've met so many people in Poly already, most of them genuine, friendly ones. They come from neighbourhood schools and speak hokkien, too, but are surprisingly multi-lingual. I don't always understand what they talk about, though. One of my parents may be hokkien, the other teochew, but I have no dialect roots whatsoever, apart from the measly bit of cantonese I understand.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thursday, April 15th 2010
I got a wonderful jolt of a feeling today.
You see, remember those flying dreams I had been having often a while back? Just recently. I would fly up as high as possible, and then let myself fall, knowing I would be able to stop myself from smashing onto the hard ground below.
Today, we had to attend this Second Life workshop. I did the writing and research part, because I didn't really feel like tampering with complicated architecture. However, I got to play with the finished result, I got to fly.
I did just that. I flew as high as I could go, until I was in the clouds. I could barely see myself, white mass was all around me, but I felt the wonderful feeling of being free. My legs dangled below me, and, for the first time, no pressure was on them. I could go wherever I wished, I only had to fly. However, I let myself fall to earth. I sped groundwards, stumbled a bit on the ground, but I was back up and walking in a flash. So, I can fly in Second Life.
How I wish I could fly in the real one.
My cough is better, but I am still craving heaty food. On my way home, my mouth drooled at the thought of that deliciously sinful western steak and fries, drenched in mushroom sauce. I also felt like eating a currypuff, the A1 one at Ang Mo Kio, and Bengawan Solo's egg tart. I devoured a whole packet of Houten chilli tapioca crisps on the long bus ride home, before I fell asleep and awoke with a terrible neckache, in time to get off at the interchange.
Last night, I was telling D about how I like people who are "human". I said I think the pimple on his eyebrow is quite cute, he gave me a demerit point. I said it would be cuter right smack in the middle on his nose, he gave me another demerit!
It's difficult to explain, what with us being human beings and all, but no, not that kind of human. I mean, a "human" quality is a kind of flaw. They seem perfect, but actually have a few imperfections, flaws. People who are too perfect freak me out. No, I think being "human" is charming, an endearing quality, one to be desired and embraced.
Like the pimple on your eyebrow. :)
You see, remember those flying dreams I had been having often a while back? Just recently. I would fly up as high as possible, and then let myself fall, knowing I would be able to stop myself from smashing onto the hard ground below.
Today, we had to attend this Second Life workshop. I did the writing and research part, because I didn't really feel like tampering with complicated architecture. However, I got to play with the finished result, I got to fly.
I did just that. I flew as high as I could go, until I was in the clouds. I could barely see myself, white mass was all around me, but I felt the wonderful feeling of being free. My legs dangled below me, and, for the first time, no pressure was on them. I could go wherever I wished, I only had to fly. However, I let myself fall to earth. I sped groundwards, stumbled a bit on the ground, but I was back up and walking in a flash. So, I can fly in Second Life.
How I wish I could fly in the real one.
My cough is better, but I am still craving heaty food. On my way home, my mouth drooled at the thought of that deliciously sinful western steak and fries, drenched in mushroom sauce. I also felt like eating a currypuff, the A1 one at Ang Mo Kio, and Bengawan Solo's egg tart. I devoured a whole packet of Houten chilli tapioca crisps on the long bus ride home, before I fell asleep and awoke with a terrible neckache, in time to get off at the interchange.
Last night, I was telling D about how I like people who are "human". I said I think the pimple on his eyebrow is quite cute, he gave me a demerit point. I said it would be cuter right smack in the middle on his nose, he gave me another demerit!
It's difficult to explain, what with us being human beings and all, but no, not that kind of human. I mean, a "human" quality is a kind of flaw. They seem perfect, but actually have a few imperfections, flaws. People who are too perfect freak me out. No, I think being "human" is charming, an endearing quality, one to be desired and embraced.
Like the pimple on your eyebrow. :)
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Wednesday, April 14th 2010
I wish this cough would go away.
Luckily for me, it's not the serious, phlegmy, disgusting kind. It's just a slight cough, an itchy throat. Annoying, but not serious enough to keep me at home.
Orientation lasted the entire night yesterday, even now, I can't believe I pulled through. I played all the games except two, one of which involved lying on the ground and getting wet, the other, exchanging of body fluids in the most revolting, unappealing manner.
One of the games was called "Milo Gargle". There, on the table, are several cups with spoons in them. In one, there was milo powder, in another, there was sugar, in the last, there was water. At the side, there lay a large cardboard dice, with the numbers 1-6. At the end, there stood a big empty plastic bottle.
A person had to shove a spoonful of milo powder in his mouth, and then toss the dice. Whatever number showed up on the dice, he had to put that number of spoonfuls of sugar in his mouth, and then proceed to add some water to the milo-sugar mixture in his mouth. Once he adds water, he gargles the mixture, and then spits it into the empty bottle at the end. Everyone does this. The milo spoon was gummed up with saliva and milo powder from previous groups. A side wins when they fill the bottle to the brim first. The side that loses has to drink the milo mixture from the bottle.
My group lost, so they passed the bottle around, each person took a mouthful from it. It was truly revolting, I tell you. God knows how many colonies of bacteria there were, going from mouth to mouth, how many diseases were exchanged. Luckily, I didn't have to drink it.
My knees are all bruised from crawling on hard floor during some games, they hurt a lot, and I have muscle aches everywhere. Everywhere. Ah, the price to pay for being a good girl and going for orientation camps.
Tomorrow, I'll have to be at school from 8.45am-6pm for another seemingly long day of orientation, playing more games, listening to more talks. I've had several people come up to me and telling me I'm cute, and how they like my butterfly. It's a nice feeling.
HMV nice guy has called again, my Philippe Jaroussky CD has arrived. Along with it came "Sabet Mater", he asked me if I want that, too. I wasn't sure, so he said he'd keep it there for me first. Heh heh, but I don't have money. Shall ask for some for those. After all, how often do I ask for money?
Luckily for me, it's not the serious, phlegmy, disgusting kind. It's just a slight cough, an itchy throat. Annoying, but not serious enough to keep me at home.
Orientation lasted the entire night yesterday, even now, I can't believe I pulled through. I played all the games except two, one of which involved lying on the ground and getting wet, the other, exchanging of body fluids in the most revolting, unappealing manner.
One of the games was called "Milo Gargle". There, on the table, are several cups with spoons in them. In one, there was milo powder, in another, there was sugar, in the last, there was water. At the side, there lay a large cardboard dice, with the numbers 1-6. At the end, there stood a big empty plastic bottle.
A person had to shove a spoonful of milo powder in his mouth, and then toss the dice. Whatever number showed up on the dice, he had to put that number of spoonfuls of sugar in his mouth, and then proceed to add some water to the milo-sugar mixture in his mouth. Once he adds water, he gargles the mixture, and then spits it into the empty bottle at the end. Everyone does this. The milo spoon was gummed up with saliva and milo powder from previous groups. A side wins when they fill the bottle to the brim first. The side that loses has to drink the milo mixture from the bottle.
My group lost, so they passed the bottle around, each person took a mouthful from it. It was truly revolting, I tell you. God knows how many colonies of bacteria there were, going from mouth to mouth, how many diseases were exchanged. Luckily, I didn't have to drink it.
My knees are all bruised from crawling on hard floor during some games, they hurt a lot, and I have muscle aches everywhere. Everywhere. Ah, the price to pay for being a good girl and going for orientation camps.
Tomorrow, I'll have to be at school from 8.45am-6pm for another seemingly long day of orientation, playing more games, listening to more talks. I've had several people come up to me and telling me I'm cute, and how they like my butterfly. It's a nice feeling.
HMV nice guy has called again, my Philippe Jaroussky CD has arrived. Along with it came "Sabet Mater", he asked me if I want that, too. I wasn't sure, so he said he'd keep it there for me first. Heh heh, but I don't have money. Shall ask for some for those. After all, how often do I ask for money?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 13th 2010
Ah, a quick blog update before I leave for some overnight orientation thing.
I feel myself falling ill, an itchy throat, coughing. I'm suddenly craving sore-throat inducing food like currypuffs, Ya Kun Kaya Toast and chocolate. Sigh.
I hate having coughs. My throat is constantly itchy and I keep having to clear it or cough, and that leads to a sore throat or loss of voice. Let's hope it won't be the latter.
Staying at school tonight, they're making us play games throughout. I shall participate actively and continue to make new friends. It kills me to not be able to attend choir today, but I'm sure they'd understand. If I had nothing important on, I wouldn't miss a practice for the world.
I miss you already.
I feel myself falling ill, an itchy throat, coughing. I'm suddenly craving sore-throat inducing food like currypuffs, Ya Kun Kaya Toast and chocolate. Sigh.
I hate having coughs. My throat is constantly itchy and I keep having to clear it or cough, and that leads to a sore throat or loss of voice. Let's hope it won't be the latter.
Staying at school tonight, they're making us play games throughout. I shall participate actively and continue to make new friends. It kills me to not be able to attend choir today, but I'm sure they'd understand. If I had nothing important on, I wouldn't miss a practice for the world.
I miss you already.
Monday, 12th April 2010
Something in the air was different tonight.
My kiss was too rough, I felt a fear.
I think I should take my time kissing his cheek from now on. I was probably nervous about missing the bus, or reluctant/unhappy about leaving his side again.
I was cranky all through choir practice because I attended it on an empty stomach. I went there after a whole day of orientation- ice-breaking games and tired cheers. My throat hurt with every sound I made. I had to rush to take a shower after orientation, in time to attend choir practice.
I like most of my new classmates, though. I volunteered for a lot of things, so I probably came across as outgoing. The other girls just sat back and waited. Made some new friends, they all seem like hardworking, fun people. I hope they are, for real. I really, really need a fantastic G.P.A. to get a scholarship for medical school.
When I got to choir, D surprised me with Famous Amos! It was so sweet of him, I was almost speechless. I only managed to choke out a 'thank you' and a hug. I saved the cookies for eating them with milk at dinner.
We did some skit thing during practice. Darius got us to come up with a skit in small groups, with songs from our repertoire in them. We did a hilarious skit about a pregnant woman giving birth to a baby. The baby dies, then comes back to life and dances around. I was, you got it, the baby.
We won first place, so we'll get a prize. Don't know what yet.
Random question: What does it mean to be in a relationship?
My kiss was too rough, I felt a fear.
I think I should take my time kissing his cheek from now on. I was probably nervous about missing the bus, or reluctant/unhappy about leaving his side again.
I was cranky all through choir practice because I attended it on an empty stomach. I went there after a whole day of orientation- ice-breaking games and tired cheers. My throat hurt with every sound I made. I had to rush to take a shower after orientation, in time to attend choir practice.
I like most of my new classmates, though. I volunteered for a lot of things, so I probably came across as outgoing. The other girls just sat back and waited. Made some new friends, they all seem like hardworking, fun people. I hope they are, for real. I really, really need a fantastic G.P.A. to get a scholarship for medical school.
When I got to choir, D surprised me with Famous Amos! It was so sweet of him, I was almost speechless. I only managed to choke out a 'thank you' and a hug. I saved the cookies for eating them with milk at dinner.
We did some skit thing during practice. Darius got us to come up with a skit in small groups, with songs from our repertoire in them. We did a hilarious skit about a pregnant woman giving birth to a baby. The baby dies, then comes back to life and dances around. I was, you got it, the baby.
We won first place, so we'll get a prize. Don't know what yet.
Random question: What does it mean to be in a relationship?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday, April 11th 2010
Mmmmmm.
I am craving Famous Amos!
The crunchy, buttery little cookies, the burst of chocolate chips, the way the cookie melts in your mouth as you chew on it..
So. I am back from my Freshmen Orientation Camp at school. It's been a tiring few days. I was unprepared, I realised I had camp the night before it was to commence! On the first night, I realised I forgot to bring my toothbrush. I also had no sleeping bag because I couldn't find one at home, but luckily for me, one of my new friends offered to share hers with me. It was too hot to zip up anyway.
I am currently sunburnt. My face is strange, only particular spots got burnt- my nose and cheeks. The rest is still its original colour. I look strange, the colour contrast is too great for comfort. I hope D doesn't laugh at me when he sees.
I've also been eating a lot. At camp, I looked forward to every meal, and I always asked for more and ate quickly. Hmm. It must've taken a lot of energy, because I always felt famished several hours after eating. My new-found friends marvelled at my superior eating skills!
Other things happened at the camp, like how I found this girl cute, she had multiple gorgeous highlights in her hair, a lovely face. Too thin, though. Girls must have some meat on them, you know?
However, she didn't make such an impression on me, I was still daydreaming about D's gorgeous smile. I was also trying to avoid these other girls who kept following us around- to the toilet, to the water-cooler, to sleep. It completely freaked me out when one of them asked for my number. I didn't even know her!
The first time she asked for it, I said "later, later", and then I continued talking to two other girls. Minutes later, she asked for it again, and when I turned around, her phone was right in my face. I gave her my number with two of the numbers switched around. If I declined, she would have gotten my e-mail somehow and tracked me down.
I was describing her to D- Accounts, thick glasses, small eyes, hairy legs. Later, he begged me to stop. :)
There was some frenzy about the family camera. I had kept it in my room since I had not transferred out my photos, and I think my Mom wanted to view her Japan trip photos, which were on the same memory card in the camera. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Dad walking towards me while I was at camp. It was 4 hours till dismissal, we were all seated at the gallery and cheering, I think. Dad had actually tracked me down by asking people. He asked me if I had the camera with me, and where it was, because "Mom wants to see her photos". When I heard that, I almost lost my patience. I told him firmly to go home and wait for me to pass it to him.
I can't believe they couldn't even have waited 4 hours to see some photos! Later, when Dad left and reality started to sink in, I realised how upset I was. Mom made Dad drive all the way from AMK to Tampines just so she could see some photos.
This morning, I slept at 5.30am, so I slept till 12.30pm. Mom tried shouting at me, even calling my phone in a disgustingly desperate attempt to get the camera. It ruined a few hours, but I didn't let it ruin my day.
I don't know who is stupider- My Mom or my Dad.
There was some clubbing at the camp, too. They turned off the lights at the sports complex and played some loud music, and suddenly everybody went crazy. So did I, I'm afraid. We all just started jumping around to the music and dancing, flinging hair, shaking hips. My God, I must've looked idiotic. I am not a dancer. I repeat: I am not a dancer. I don't have smooth moves to show off, I'm just good enough to keep to the beat. It's a musical thing, really.
When it was over, we were all drenched in perspiration, literally dripping. I felt like I had just run a marathon, it was a good workout. Later, I found out that it only lasted for 1/2 an hour. I laughed my head off.
I was glad to sit alone, staring into space during the long bus ride home after the camp. I couldn't wait to get back to comfort- being able to use a toothbrush, being able to take long showers in a clean toilet, being able to wear unattractive but comfortable home clothes to sleep (on a bed!)... Being able to go online, being able to talk to my Love.
We got together two weeks ago, but made it official last night when I was talking to him. He just suddenly asked so formally, but sweetly. Since I was away at camp, I hadn't the chance to see him for 3 days, so you can imagine the surprise when it happened. Yes, these things are important to me.
Human relationships are fraught with all sorts of problems and complications. It's a learning journey, enjoyable and saddening, frightening and upsetting, exciting and disappointing. I am afraid of losing him, but I can't keep thinking about it this way. Have faith, Xiulin.
Orientation begins again tomorrow. I will be meeting people from my course. I only got to meet a year 3 senior from my course at the camp, so it seemed that none of the Biomed Sc freshies went for the overnight camp. I have this fear they'll be all-study-no-play-no-life, like the two girls who kept following us around. They discussed Physics before they went to sleep! I shall die if I end up surrounded, it's like being human in a zombie apocalypse.
I hope they release us at the stipulated time, I want to shower at school before going for choir practice. I shall smell like shampoo.
I am craving Famous Amos!
The crunchy, buttery little cookies, the burst of chocolate chips, the way the cookie melts in your mouth as you chew on it..
So. I am back from my Freshmen Orientation Camp at school. It's been a tiring few days. I was unprepared, I realised I had camp the night before it was to commence! On the first night, I realised I forgot to bring my toothbrush. I also had no sleeping bag because I couldn't find one at home, but luckily for me, one of my new friends offered to share hers with me. It was too hot to zip up anyway.
I am currently sunburnt. My face is strange, only particular spots got burnt- my nose and cheeks. The rest is still its original colour. I look strange, the colour contrast is too great for comfort. I hope D doesn't laugh at me when he sees.
I've also been eating a lot. At camp, I looked forward to every meal, and I always asked for more and ate quickly. Hmm. It must've taken a lot of energy, because I always felt famished several hours after eating. My new-found friends marvelled at my superior eating skills!
Other things happened at the camp, like how I found this girl cute, she had multiple gorgeous highlights in her hair, a lovely face. Too thin, though. Girls must have some meat on them, you know?
However, she didn't make such an impression on me, I was still daydreaming about D's gorgeous smile. I was also trying to avoid these other girls who kept following us around- to the toilet, to the water-cooler, to sleep. It completely freaked me out when one of them asked for my number. I didn't even know her!
The first time she asked for it, I said "later, later", and then I continued talking to two other girls. Minutes later, she asked for it again, and when I turned around, her phone was right in my face. I gave her my number with two of the numbers switched around. If I declined, she would have gotten my e-mail somehow and tracked me down.
I was describing her to D- Accounts, thick glasses, small eyes, hairy legs. Later, he begged me to stop. :)
There was some frenzy about the family camera. I had kept it in my room since I had not transferred out my photos, and I think my Mom wanted to view her Japan trip photos, which were on the same memory card in the camera. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Dad walking towards me while I was at camp. It was 4 hours till dismissal, we were all seated at the gallery and cheering, I think. Dad had actually tracked me down by asking people. He asked me if I had the camera with me, and where it was, because "Mom wants to see her photos". When I heard that, I almost lost my patience. I told him firmly to go home and wait for me to pass it to him.
I can't believe they couldn't even have waited 4 hours to see some photos! Later, when Dad left and reality started to sink in, I realised how upset I was. Mom made Dad drive all the way from AMK to Tampines just so she could see some photos.
This morning, I slept at 5.30am, so I slept till 12.30pm. Mom tried shouting at me, even calling my phone in a disgustingly desperate attempt to get the camera. It ruined a few hours, but I didn't let it ruin my day.
I don't know who is stupider- My Mom or my Dad.
There was some clubbing at the camp, too. They turned off the lights at the sports complex and played some loud music, and suddenly everybody went crazy. So did I, I'm afraid. We all just started jumping around to the music and dancing, flinging hair, shaking hips. My God, I must've looked idiotic. I am not a dancer. I repeat: I am not a dancer. I don't have smooth moves to show off, I'm just good enough to keep to the beat. It's a musical thing, really.
When it was over, we were all drenched in perspiration, literally dripping. I felt like I had just run a marathon, it was a good workout. Later, I found out that it only lasted for 1/2 an hour. I laughed my head off.
I was glad to sit alone, staring into space during the long bus ride home after the camp. I couldn't wait to get back to comfort- being able to use a toothbrush, being able to take long showers in a clean toilet, being able to wear unattractive but comfortable home clothes to sleep (on a bed!)... Being able to go online, being able to talk to my Love.
We got together two weeks ago, but made it official last night when I was talking to him. He just suddenly asked so formally, but sweetly. Since I was away at camp, I hadn't the chance to see him for 3 days, so you can imagine the surprise when it happened. Yes, these things are important to me.
Human relationships are fraught with all sorts of problems and complications. It's a learning journey, enjoyable and saddening, frightening and upsetting, exciting and disappointing. I am afraid of losing him, but I can't keep thinking about it this way. Have faith, Xiulin.
Orientation begins again tomorrow. I will be meeting people from my course. I only got to meet a year 3 senior from my course at the camp, so it seemed that none of the Biomed Sc freshies went for the overnight camp. I have this fear they'll be all-study-no-play-no-life, like the two girls who kept following us around. They discussed Physics before they went to sleep! I shall die if I end up surrounded, it's like being human in a zombie apocalypse.
I hope they release us at the stipulated time, I want to shower at school before going for choir practice. I shall smell like shampoo.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Wednesday, April 7th 2010
Oh, Happy Day!
Spent the day with D today, we met at Bishan to have ice-cold chicken rice which, I must say, was surprising, in a good way. The rice was a disappointment, but the chicken, wow! I will go back.
Headed to Esplanade Library to work on our music compositions- he, with his orchestra piece, I, with my ciaccona. D, I've discovered, is a very serious composer. He concentrates fully while writing, and while he was doing so, I didn't dare interrupt. I sat, like a good girl, sipping my Chai Tea.
Went to Vivo thereafter to have dinner (Thunder Tea Rice) and watch "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". It was a spontaneous decision to catch a movie, but the movie had really good humour. I found myself laughing at everything! When the movie was over, we found ourselves back at the foodcourt, where we ordered a $9.80 plate of "mixed veg and rice". $9.80!!!
It was still pretty early, so we sat at the MRT station and cam-whored. Well, I did. D either looked like he was asleep, or evil. :) Took some nice shots, though. It was really nice just sitting there, cuddling, talking and singing. He has a lovely smile.
It was 11.59pm when I discovered I have a 3D2N orientation camp the next day. I haven't even printed the forms yet! Man, oh man. No, I can do this! I'll be back on the 10th, it's not too far from now, right?
Right?
Spent the day with D today, we met at Bishan to have ice-cold chicken rice which, I must say, was surprising, in a good way. The rice was a disappointment, but the chicken, wow! I will go back.
Headed to Esplanade Library to work on our music compositions- he, with his orchestra piece, I, with my ciaccona. D, I've discovered, is a very serious composer. He concentrates fully while writing, and while he was doing so, I didn't dare interrupt. I sat, like a good girl, sipping my Chai Tea.
Went to Vivo thereafter to have dinner (Thunder Tea Rice) and watch "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". It was a spontaneous decision to catch a movie, but the movie had really good humour. I found myself laughing at everything! When the movie was over, we found ourselves back at the foodcourt, where we ordered a $9.80 plate of "mixed veg and rice". $9.80!!!
It was still pretty early, so we sat at the MRT station and cam-whored. Well, I did. D either looked like he was asleep, or evil. :) Took some nice shots, though. It was really nice just sitting there, cuddling, talking and singing. He has a lovely smile.
It was 11.59pm when I discovered I have a 3D2N orientation camp the next day. I haven't even printed the forms yet! Man, oh man. No, I can do this! I'll be back on the 10th, it's not too far from now, right?
Right?
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Tuesday, 6th April 2010 post 2
Today was a fulfilling one, more or less.
It started with my awaking at noon. I've been sleeping generally well since choir started, it had to be the stress I had to deal with in memorising my songs. Now, it's just the practices, but take into the account my journey to and from school, the pressure from my parents, my social life..
I have got to stop this mood-swing thing. It's happened twice in the past month. I hope it doesn't become a regular thing, I don't want to be known for it - The Girl With Constant Mood-Swings.
Dad has been blaming me for being small-built. I don't know how the hell someone blames another for how tall they are, but he's doing it. It's really, really getting on my nerves. The moment I step out of my room, Dad glares at me. At lunch, he glares more and then, when he gets really into it, he starts shouting about how I'm so short. I am, with much patience, trying to restrain myself from shouting back.
Hmm. Today, I went to meet D at Tea Dot, to drink tea. Yes. Apparently, they have peanut tea! D did mention it not too long ago, so I ordered a small glass. I felt like I was drinking a peanut smoothie. At first, it was kind of weird, but I grew to like it.
I shall go back to try their other teas.
Come tomorrow, I shall be eating really good chicken rice with my Love!
It started with my awaking at noon. I've been sleeping generally well since choir started, it had to be the stress I had to deal with in memorising my songs. Now, it's just the practices, but take into the account my journey to and from school, the pressure from my parents, my social life..
I have got to stop this mood-swing thing. It's happened twice in the past month. I hope it doesn't become a regular thing, I don't want to be known for it - The Girl With Constant Mood-Swings.
Dad has been blaming me for being small-built. I don't know how the hell someone blames another for how tall they are, but he's doing it. It's really, really getting on my nerves. The moment I step out of my room, Dad glares at me. At lunch, he glares more and then, when he gets really into it, he starts shouting about how I'm so short. I am, with much patience, trying to restrain myself from shouting back.
Hmm. Today, I went to meet D at Tea Dot, to drink tea. Yes. Apparently, they have peanut tea! D did mention it not too long ago, so I ordered a small glass. I felt like I was drinking a peanut smoothie. At first, it was kind of weird, but I grew to like it.
I shall go back to try their other teas.
Come tomorrow, I shall be eating really good chicken rice with my Love!
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Tuesday, April 6th 2010
"This merrygoround of life twirls around us, too much. This little, whispering-oaks carnival; Let us be hasty to love, and be quick to forgive; Not only loving others, but also ourselves, not only forgiving others, but too ourselves- I love you."
Beautiful, no?
I think I'll add this to the noticeboard above my pillow. :)
I felt really upset with myself last night. My actions came out before I had time to think. While I was brushing my teeth near midnight, I had a flashback: I remember Mrs Jacob telling me that I'm the most intense person she's ever met.
Two years have gone by since I last saw Mrs J. The last time I talked to her, she was saying how tired she felt every day, fatigue out of nowhere. I haven't heard from her since, and I fear she may have died or something. She would be 80 this year.
I opened my Box of Wisdom this morning.
I started it early last year, when I had the sudden urge to buy a wooden box, paint it, and fill it with beautiful thoughts. I wrote them on little pieces of paper, so I could collect them someplace safe. Then, I would open it when I needed wisdom, or when I turn 21, the next big transition in life.
This is a thought I found-
Experience teaches a person, but the real punishment comes when that person realises, in the after-life, all the experiences he missed out on.
Beautiful, no?
I think I'll add this to the noticeboard above my pillow. :)
I felt really upset with myself last night. My actions came out before I had time to think. While I was brushing my teeth near midnight, I had a flashback: I remember Mrs Jacob telling me that I'm the most intense person she's ever met.
Two years have gone by since I last saw Mrs J. The last time I talked to her, she was saying how tired she felt every day, fatigue out of nowhere. I haven't heard from her since, and I fear she may have died or something. She would be 80 this year.
I opened my Box of Wisdom this morning.
I started it early last year, when I had the sudden urge to buy a wooden box, paint it, and fill it with beautiful thoughts. I wrote them on little pieces of paper, so I could collect them someplace safe. Then, I would open it when I needed wisdom, or when I turn 21, the next big transition in life.
This is a thought I found-
Experience teaches a person, but the real punishment comes when that person realises, in the after-life, all the experiences he missed out on.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Monday, 5th April 2010 post 2
Why the hell did you have to be such an ass, Xiulin?
What is wrong with you?! Your behavior at dinner was appalling, and it is your fault, your fault only.
Promises:
- I will stop being so controlling. Nobody likes a control freak.
- I will think carefully before I speak or act.
What makes or breaks a relationship?
Honesty makes, insecurity breaks. Actually, I think many things make a relationship, but honesty is important. Without honesty, a friendship or relationship is based on lies. Insecurity is a relationship killer. How does anyone avoid it?
Relationships are tough, it is difficult to be a good partner.
Should one close an eye to his harmful pleasures, or should one tell him to avoid them, and thus come off as controlling?
One thing I know for sure, there's never a good reason to act like an ass.
What is wrong with you?! Your behavior at dinner was appalling, and it is your fault, your fault only.
Promises:
- I will stop being so controlling. Nobody likes a control freak.
- I will think carefully before I speak or act.
What makes or breaks a relationship?
Honesty makes, insecurity breaks. Actually, I think many things make a relationship, but honesty is important. Without honesty, a friendship or relationship is based on lies. Insecurity is a relationship killer. How does anyone avoid it?
Relationships are tough, it is difficult to be a good partner.
Should one close an eye to his harmful pleasures, or should one tell him to avoid them, and thus come off as controlling?
One thing I know for sure, there's never a good reason to act like an ass.
Monday, April 5th 2010
I got the shock of my life this morning.
Not too long ago, I had these little potted plants, planted from seeds. One pot had the herb 'lemonbalm', the other had sunflower shoots. However, after I forgot to water them for a day, they died under the scorching sun, drying up into little shrivelled things. So, I took out the dried-up shoots and left the pots of soil, until I thought of what to plant next.
Today, when I happened to glance at the little pots of soil, there it was- a little green shoot, no taller than my little finger. Baffled as I was, I hurried to water it and put it out on the windowsill to sun.
How could it have grown? I don't remember planting anything in it after the last batch died. Perhaps someone in the family threw in some seeds? This is so symbolic.
Could it be some sort of sign?
Not too long ago, I had these little potted plants, planted from seeds. One pot had the herb 'lemonbalm', the other had sunflower shoots. However, after I forgot to water them for a day, they died under the scorching sun, drying up into little shrivelled things. So, I took out the dried-up shoots and left the pots of soil, until I thought of what to plant next.
Today, when I happened to glance at the little pots of soil, there it was- a little green shoot, no taller than my little finger. Baffled as I was, I hurried to water it and put it out on the windowsill to sun.
How could it have grown? I don't remember planting anything in it after the last batch died. Perhaps someone in the family threw in some seeds? This is so symbolic.
Could it be some sort of sign?
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Sunday, April 4th 2010
Cara, la dolce fiamma
dell'alma mia tu sei;
e negli affetti miei
costante ognor saro.
-
Ah, come tomorrow, I shall be at choir practice again. My guess is that there will be some kind of screening, of the videos of our concert. Looking forward to it.
Mom and Dad brought many things with them when they came back from Japan yesterday. Apart from food, they also bought me perfume (!) and some useless but cute souvenirs. Don't know why they bought me perfume, perhaps they were clueless about what else to get me. It is a good sign- it means I am growing up, and am unpredictable :)
Added "Just You" to my pop playlist. I used to listen to this song a lot during the angry swearing hate-the-world period. I couldn't relate to the lyrics, but I thought they were beautiful.
It has been a very holy week for religious people. The Chinese had their Ching Ming Jie, the Christians and Catholics had their Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter. I felt a bit left out because I didn't/couldn't take part in any. I'd be happy enough if my family even took Christmas seriously. They just think about the food, nothing else. Lets hope Christmas will be different this year.
dell'alma mia tu sei;
e negli affetti miei
costante ognor saro.
-
Ah, come tomorrow, I shall be at choir practice again. My guess is that there will be some kind of screening, of the videos of our concert. Looking forward to it.
Mom and Dad brought many things with them when they came back from Japan yesterday. Apart from food, they also bought me perfume (!) and some useless but cute souvenirs. Don't know why they bought me perfume, perhaps they were clueless about what else to get me. It is a good sign- it means I am growing up, and am unpredictable :)
Added "Just You" to my pop playlist. I used to listen to this song a lot during the angry swearing hate-the-world period. I couldn't relate to the lyrics, but I thought they were beautiful.
It has been a very holy week for religious people. The Chinese had their Ching Ming Jie, the Christians and Catholics had their Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter. I felt a bit left out because I didn't/couldn't take part in any. I'd be happy enough if my family even took Christmas seriously. They just think about the food, nothing else. Lets hope Christmas will be different this year.
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Saturday, April 3rd 2010
Oh, my God.
Just the other day, D was telling me about speed-reading through my 6 years of blog posts, so tonight, I clicked on "September 2004" at the sidebar. My heart palpitated audibly as I scanned through the posts. Blood rushed to my face and ears, my eyes widened in horror and amusement.
I cannot even begin to fathom what the heck I was thinking when I typed those posts. Could I, such a straight-forward and sane person, have typed those? While my mind dealt with the embarrassment, a silly grin crept across my face.
I remember promising myself I wouldn't delete or change anything on this blog, so I can look back on it in the future and remark on how much I've grown as a person. Different periods brought different things- there was the gushy-mushy love period, the angry swearing hate-the-world period, the strangely sad pining period, the blur of leadership period, the period of rejection, and finally, here I am, at the period of anticipation.
Xiulin has come a long way, and she will continue to grow as a person, in actions, thoughts, words and wisdom.
Thus the wisdom teeth.
I think the wisdom teeth are extremely appropriate. It is at this age where we gain the most wisdom through experiences. Lets hope they grow out well. :D
Finally met up with Vanessa today, after 2, 3 months. We had lunch at some Imperial Treasure restaurant at Marina Square. Strapped for cash, we ordered minimally, and the bill only came up to about $22. Luckily. After eating, we headed to Kenko for fish therapy, where our feet were sucked and nibbled by hundreds of cute little fish. I went for fish therapy when I was at Phuket, and I loved the experience. This, however, was a bit too short- 10 minutes, barely enough. At least, for 10 minutes, I felt like the most adored person around. :)
We grabbed some Famous Amos no-nut cookies and chomped on them while V went to Rastafari to buy some (overpriced) bracelets. I was a bit disappointed when Secret Recipe didn't have my 'Moist Chocolate Cake' in slices, so I had a craving for chocolatey junk food. I can't believe this, just two days ago, I felt like I was dying from too much chocolate.
A sweet, sinful drowning.
Walked from City Hall to Bugis Street, where we shopped a bit. V bought a couple of dresses and a jumper, I bought a dress and cropped jacket to go with it. Hmm. The zip on the dress is at such a strategic position. Perhaps they did not think to reconsider the design but meh, it's nice like that.
I am still craving for more Famous Amos, and I don't know why. It is 1.30am! Dad and Mom are back from their trip, and I can't understand why they brought back so much junk food, especially when they can be bought here at our local supermarkets... Not that I'm complaining.
Junk food is always welcome. :D
Just the other day, D was telling me about speed-reading through my 6 years of blog posts, so tonight, I clicked on "September 2004" at the sidebar. My heart palpitated audibly as I scanned through the posts. Blood rushed to my face and ears, my eyes widened in horror and amusement.
I cannot even begin to fathom what the heck I was thinking when I typed those posts. Could I, such a straight-forward and sane person, have typed those? While my mind dealt with the embarrassment, a silly grin crept across my face.
I remember promising myself I wouldn't delete or change anything on this blog, so I can look back on it in the future and remark on how much I've grown as a person. Different periods brought different things- there was the gushy-mushy love period, the angry swearing hate-the-world period, the strangely sad pining period, the blur of leadership period, the period of rejection, and finally, here I am, at the period of anticipation.
Xiulin has come a long way, and she will continue to grow as a person, in actions, thoughts, words and wisdom.
Thus the wisdom teeth.
I think the wisdom teeth are extremely appropriate. It is at this age where we gain the most wisdom through experiences. Lets hope they grow out well. :D
Finally met up with Vanessa today, after 2, 3 months. We had lunch at some Imperial Treasure restaurant at Marina Square. Strapped for cash, we ordered minimally, and the bill only came up to about $22. Luckily. After eating, we headed to Kenko for fish therapy, where our feet were sucked and nibbled by hundreds of cute little fish. I went for fish therapy when I was at Phuket, and I loved the experience. This, however, was a bit too short- 10 minutes, barely enough. At least, for 10 minutes, I felt like the most adored person around. :)
We grabbed some Famous Amos no-nut cookies and chomped on them while V went to Rastafari to buy some (overpriced) bracelets. I was a bit disappointed when Secret Recipe didn't have my 'Moist Chocolate Cake' in slices, so I had a craving for chocolatey junk food. I can't believe this, just two days ago, I felt like I was dying from too much chocolate.
A sweet, sinful drowning.
Walked from City Hall to Bugis Street, where we shopped a bit. V bought a couple of dresses and a jumper, I bought a dress and cropped jacket to go with it. Hmm. The zip on the dress is at such a strategic position. Perhaps they did not think to reconsider the design but meh, it's nice like that.
I am still craving for more Famous Amos, and I don't know why. It is 1.30am! Dad and Mom are back from their trip, and I can't understand why they brought back so much junk food, especially when they can be bought here at our local supermarkets... Not that I'm complaining.
Junk food is always welcome. :D
Friday, April 2nd 2010
"Birth" is a really confusing film.
To be honest, I only ever bought it because I think Nicole Kidman is beautiful. The VCD was clearance stock, so I bought it at $6 or so. Um, since it bore the label "M18", I hadn't had the guts to watch it until I got my laptop and could watch it in the privacy of my room.
The ending disappointed me. It seemed like a quick and easy way to end the movie. The film itself was a bit disturbing, I couldn't help finding all the doubt familiar. Every word, every scoff, just because Sean is physically a child. I don't want to remember.
Awoke at 11 this morning in a fluster. I was due to meet Chris at TM at 1pm, so I washed up, got changed and grabbed a yoghurt for breakfast, to eat on the way to the MRT station. After having stood for the entire journey, I made my way to TM, stomach growling, to meet Chris. Kenny met up with us to pass her some Yamaha discount card, and apart from having lunch, we also wasted a lot of time slacking. I was tired, so it got on my nerves a little. Chris and I left Kenny with his friends, and went down to Plaza Singapura to finally get her violin strings. We parted thereafter.
It has been such a boring and unfulfilling day. I can't shake the feeling that I've wasted a perfectly good day, and that I probably will again, tomorrow. Suddenly have this craving for chocolate-dipped strawberries.
All right, no guilt, then, but I'm buying the drinks next time. :)
To be honest, I only ever bought it because I think Nicole Kidman is beautiful. The VCD was clearance stock, so I bought it at $6 or so. Um, since it bore the label "M18", I hadn't had the guts to watch it until I got my laptop and could watch it in the privacy of my room.
The ending disappointed me. It seemed like a quick and easy way to end the movie. The film itself was a bit disturbing, I couldn't help finding all the doubt familiar. Every word, every scoff, just because Sean is physically a child. I don't want to remember.
Awoke at 11 this morning in a fluster. I was due to meet Chris at TM at 1pm, so I washed up, got changed and grabbed a yoghurt for breakfast, to eat on the way to the MRT station. After having stood for the entire journey, I made my way to TM, stomach growling, to meet Chris. Kenny met up with us to pass her some Yamaha discount card, and apart from having lunch, we also wasted a lot of time slacking. I was tired, so it got on my nerves a little. Chris and I left Kenny with his friends, and went down to Plaza Singapura to finally get her violin strings. We parted thereafter.
It has been such a boring and unfulfilling day. I can't shake the feeling that I've wasted a perfectly good day, and that I probably will again, tomorrow. Suddenly have this craving for chocolate-dipped strawberries.
All right, no guilt, then, but I'm buying the drinks next time. :)
Friday, April 02, 2010
Thursday, April 1st 2010
A date, eyebags and Kyle XY.
I was brushing my teeth when I noticed them- My eyebags are horrid.
They are more obvious now, probably because I neglected my body by not sleeping at the chalet. Darn. I should learn from the French- they sleep by a certain hour every night and thus do not have eyebags.
Went on our first date today. Hmm. It feels so weird to say that. Actually, I've never said it. I think it went quite well.
We started off with me being a bit late. I didn't want to over-dress, so I just threw on a tank-top, a checked outer shirt, a pair of shorts and my Nikes. He showed up in a yummy black shirt and jeans. Luckily, he waited patiently, and we headed to Esplanade to Max Brenner's. We ordered two "Italian Thick Hot Chocolate"s, dark. Along with that, we were served a small platter of white, milk and dark chocolate pieces. By the time we were done, I felt so ill at the thought of chocolate. It churned round and round our stomachs, so D suggested we go have some tea.
We walked over to the merlion, where we sat at Coffee Bean to drink some "Hot Tea". I was supposed to pay for it, but for some reason, D ended up paying for that, too. Feeling guilty now. We just sat and talked and checked people out, all the while sipping our tea. I noticed that there weren't many hot people walking through that part, though.
After visiting the washroom many times, we headed to Clark Quay, where we just walked around, talking and singing. It was very/too bustling, the night alive with music performances, buskers and drinking people, so we took the MRT down to Toa Payoh where we had dinner at the food court. The strangest thing was that we ended up eating each other's food. I ate his lean-meat-century-egg porridge and he ate my shredded chicken ramen. Tummies full and thirsts quenched, we sat at the Hub where we just talked, before we said goodbye when bus 8 came. Hmm, seems like we talked a lot today.
I like it, how easy it is to talk to him. Usually I hide behind a screen and find it easier to talk to people online or through smses, but with him, it's just so...Comfortable. (Yes, feel honoured.)
I cannot believe he went to watch the entire first season of "Kyle XY". It was surprising, a nice thought. Kyle is only 'gorgeous' in the show. What I like about him is his childlike questioning of things, things that we have unknowingly become accustomed to, eg. time.
My left wisdom teeth (that's right, TWO teeth) are growing out simultaneously, and it's feeling a bit sensitive. I hope and pray they'll grow out nicely, I can't imagine living with crooked teeth or going for an operation to get them out. My right wisdom teeth have grown out pretty nicely, so if these follow suit, there would be no problem.
I was brushing my teeth when I noticed them- My eyebags are horrid.
They are more obvious now, probably because I neglected my body by not sleeping at the chalet. Darn. I should learn from the French- they sleep by a certain hour every night and thus do not have eyebags.
Went on our first date today. Hmm. It feels so weird to say that. Actually, I've never said it. I think it went quite well.
We started off with me being a bit late. I didn't want to over-dress, so I just threw on a tank-top, a checked outer shirt, a pair of shorts and my Nikes. He showed up in a yummy black shirt and jeans. Luckily, he waited patiently, and we headed to Esplanade to Max Brenner's. We ordered two "Italian Thick Hot Chocolate"s, dark. Along with that, we were served a small platter of white, milk and dark chocolate pieces. By the time we were done, I felt so ill at the thought of chocolate. It churned round and round our stomachs, so D suggested we go have some tea.
We walked over to the merlion, where we sat at Coffee Bean to drink some "Hot Tea". I was supposed to pay for it, but for some reason, D ended up paying for that, too. Feeling guilty now. We just sat and talked and checked people out, all the while sipping our tea. I noticed that there weren't many hot people walking through that part, though.
After visiting the washroom many times, we headed to Clark Quay, where we just walked around, talking and singing. It was very/too bustling, the night alive with music performances, buskers and drinking people, so we took the MRT down to Toa Payoh where we had dinner at the food court. The strangest thing was that we ended up eating each other's food. I ate his lean-meat-century-egg porridge and he ate my shredded chicken ramen. Tummies full and thirsts quenched, we sat at the Hub where we just talked, before we said goodbye when bus 8 came. Hmm, seems like we talked a lot today.
I like it, how easy it is to talk to him. Usually I hide behind a screen and find it easier to talk to people online or through smses, but with him, it's just so...Comfortable. (Yes, feel honoured.)
I cannot believe he went to watch the entire first season of "Kyle XY". It was surprising, a nice thought. Kyle is only 'gorgeous' in the show. What I like about him is his childlike questioning of things, things that we have unknowingly become accustomed to, eg. time.
My left wisdom teeth (that's right, TWO teeth) are growing out simultaneously, and it's feeling a bit sensitive. I hope and pray they'll grow out nicely, I can't imagine living with crooked teeth or going for an operation to get them out. My right wisdom teeth have grown out pretty nicely, so if these follow suit, there would be no problem.
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