I was watching "50 First Dates" on TV just now when a thought occured to me.
Remember the time when people used to comment on how Michael Jackson looked/looks and why on earth did he do that to himself?
Maybe Michael Jackson bleached himself white because he was tired of being teased by other kids about being black.
The cruelty of exclusion,the incessant taunting or bullying.You know,racism doesn't just happen amongst adults.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Saturday,May 26th 2007
It's gonna be a boring day.
Today's Parents-Teacher Dialogue Day.Choir practice was cancelled because of it.I wish Mrs Low hadn't cancelled it.I'd much rather go to school than stay home and spend my day like this.
I just had breakfast.
"Cheese and crackers,Gromit!"
Parents are out of the country,so they couldn't attend the dialogue.I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.I wonder if I managed to pass English in the end?Damn it,if they included the essay I would've passed,not that it proves I'm good in Eng anyway,because either way it shows I'm weak in comprehension.
I can't wait till the next choir practice.I just realised that I'm the only person in the choir now who's not performing for the "Opening Night" event.I only realised it when I went looking for Mrs Low yesterday after our half-day school day,asking her if there'd be choir practice today,and when's the next practice?
She said no,and the next practice would be on Tuesday,but that's for the "Opening Night" event,and she suddenly went "OH!I know why!You weren't there lah,when I gave the schedule.You'll have to call Kerlene for the whole schedule."
I don't know why,but I suddenly felt excluded somehow.In a way,I'm being excluded,but there were always the Sec 4s to accompany me in being excluded.Now there's only me.
I thanked Mrs Low and went to the school chapel.
Today is passing very very slowly.I was lying in bed yesterday thinking.I asked myself the question "what would I do if I could stop time for an hour?"
A few factors occured to me.One is what time it would be when I stopped time for an hour,Two would be my location when time is stopped,Three is where everyone else would be when time is stopped.
I'm going to a concert with my sis tonight.She didn't exactly ask me if I wanted to go,she just mentioned the concert and said she had free tickets.
Very honestly speaking,I don't fancy being excluded,because her friends are going,too.I'd just be treated like a kid who has no opinion whatsoever.Honestly speaking,I'd rather go to the Vivocity rooftop and do stargazing and thinking alone.
Though my parents are out of the country,there doesn't seem to be any more freedom than when they were still here.
Wish I could go catch a movie alone or something,just be alone without having to worry about anyone else,what anyone else wants,what anyone else doesn't want,what anyone else thinks..
Today's Parents-Teacher Dialogue Day.Choir practice was cancelled because of it.I wish Mrs Low hadn't cancelled it.I'd much rather go to school than stay home and spend my day like this.
I just had breakfast.
"Cheese and crackers,Gromit!"
Parents are out of the country,so they couldn't attend the dialogue.I don't know if that's a good or bad thing.I wonder if I managed to pass English in the end?Damn it,if they included the essay I would've passed,not that it proves I'm good in Eng anyway,because either way it shows I'm weak in comprehension.
I can't wait till the next choir practice.I just realised that I'm the only person in the choir now who's not performing for the "Opening Night" event.I only realised it when I went looking for Mrs Low yesterday after our half-day school day,asking her if there'd be choir practice today,and when's the next practice?
She said no,and the next practice would be on Tuesday,but that's for the "Opening Night" event,and she suddenly went "OH!I know why!You weren't there lah,when I gave the schedule.You'll have to call Kerlene for the whole schedule."
I don't know why,but I suddenly felt excluded somehow.In a way,I'm being excluded,but there were always the Sec 4s to accompany me in being excluded.Now there's only me.
I thanked Mrs Low and went to the school chapel.
Today is passing very very slowly.I was lying in bed yesterday thinking.I asked myself the question "what would I do if I could stop time for an hour?"
A few factors occured to me.One is what time it would be when I stopped time for an hour,Two would be my location when time is stopped,Three is where everyone else would be when time is stopped.
I'm going to a concert with my sis tonight.She didn't exactly ask me if I wanted to go,she just mentioned the concert and said she had free tickets.
Very honestly speaking,I don't fancy being excluded,because her friends are going,too.I'd just be treated like a kid who has no opinion whatsoever.Honestly speaking,I'd rather go to the Vivocity rooftop and do stargazing and thinking alone.
Though my parents are out of the country,there doesn't seem to be any more freedom than when they were still here.
Wish I could go catch a movie alone or something,just be alone without having to worry about anyone else,what anyone else wants,what anyone else doesn't want,what anyone else thinks..
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Wednesday,May 23rd 2007
I really felt a need to type about this.
Today,we got the "Parent-Teacher Dialogue" forms.There was a whole stack of it,too.Mrs Khoo was reading off the names one by one and giving out the forms.Of course I had to get one,I did pretty badly this Mid Year(s).I was expecting something quite bad,but thankfully I only have to "meet" 3 teachers.Well,for one,there's Mrs Khoo.Then,there's Mdm Hong and Ms Yip.I don't know,I haven't done anything seriously terrible except do badly in exams,so I think it shouldn't be so bad.It's not as if I committed a crime or something.
I remember sitting in that class,looking at my own appointment form,and then looking at everyone else around me.Those who got it looked really worried.Those who didn't just HAD to rub it in,didn't they?They kept letting out sighs of relief and all that,which I found pretty annoying.I mean,come on.Give us a little of your sympathy?
So after choir practice,I was walking home from AMK MRT station,and then I started to think about the people who looked worried after they received the forms.Like Ms Yip said earlier today,if we didn't behave really badly or anything,why should we be worried?They would only want to talk about our results,then.
So then I wondered,what were those people worried about?
Showing the world that they did really badly and they are failures?Getting a scolding from their parents?Disappointing their parents?
In my case it's probably number 3.However,when I ask people around me why they're worried,they tell me number 2.
I actually don't get it.So what if your parents scold you for poor results?First off,the parents are the crazy ones.It's not as if the kid will be super encouraged by the scolding.These parents have been alive for too long and have forgotten what their childhood was like.That's too bad,don't take it out on the kid.
You scold the kid and the kid will have it infixed in his/her mind that he/she's a failure and that he/she will never succeed in life.
Trust me,I should know.
You know,if kids didn't bother about what their parents think about them,they'd be so much happier.That little bit more confidence can do a lot.It's like being a failure in other people's eyes but not in your own.I wish I have/had that kind of confidence.With that,I can achieve almost anything,like trying things I never dared to try,just be myself and be happy,rather than keep trying to live up to other people's expectations.Life's too short for that kinda thing.
It's like a choir competition.People don't know and don't care how difficult it actually is or how difficult it was to get there,they only want to see the prize at the end.Same thing.Parents don't seem to know or care how difficult it is to do well in everything,they've been alive for too long.They only want to see their kids being overachievers.
If you know me well enough,I hate to disappoint other people,especially if I can't really control it.No,I mean like Math and Chinese.Things I've been trying to pass for about 9 years now and I still haven't been able to,especially even though I worked hard for this year's MYs.I mean,yes,they've finally improved,but it's still a fail.I know I can't expect miracles,but it's disappointing all the same.I know I'm gonna fail and yet I'm disappointed when I do.
Hey,I'm allowed to be disappointed in myself,but it's utterly annoying when other people are disappointed in me,for what I've done or not done or what other crap you guys can think of.Why should I be concerned with whether you're disappointed or not?It's not even my problem.
Like Ms Tham said,give your best and nobody can ask any more from you.
So is it really worth it worrying about what my parents might think?
Would I be degrading my self-esteem if I do?
Today,we got the "Parent-Teacher Dialogue" forms.There was a whole stack of it,too.Mrs Khoo was reading off the names one by one and giving out the forms.Of course I had to get one,I did pretty badly this Mid Year(s).I was expecting something quite bad,but thankfully I only have to "meet" 3 teachers.Well,for one,there's Mrs Khoo.Then,there's Mdm Hong and Ms Yip.I don't know,I haven't done anything seriously terrible except do badly in exams,so I think it shouldn't be so bad.It's not as if I committed a crime or something.
I remember sitting in that class,looking at my own appointment form,and then looking at everyone else around me.Those who got it looked really worried.Those who didn't just HAD to rub it in,didn't they?They kept letting out sighs of relief and all that,which I found pretty annoying.I mean,come on.Give us a little of your sympathy?
So after choir practice,I was walking home from AMK MRT station,and then I started to think about the people who looked worried after they received the forms.Like Ms Yip said earlier today,if we didn't behave really badly or anything,why should we be worried?They would only want to talk about our results,then.
So then I wondered,what were those people worried about?
Showing the world that they did really badly and they are failures?Getting a scolding from their parents?Disappointing their parents?
In my case it's probably number 3.However,when I ask people around me why they're worried,they tell me number 2.
I actually don't get it.So what if your parents scold you for poor results?First off,the parents are the crazy ones.It's not as if the kid will be super encouraged by the scolding.These parents have been alive for too long and have forgotten what their childhood was like.That's too bad,don't take it out on the kid.
You scold the kid and the kid will have it infixed in his/her mind that he/she's a failure and that he/she will never succeed in life.
Trust me,I should know.
You know,if kids didn't bother about what their parents think about them,they'd be so much happier.That little bit more confidence can do a lot.It's like being a failure in other people's eyes but not in your own.I wish I have/had that kind of confidence.With that,I can achieve almost anything,like trying things I never dared to try,just be myself and be happy,rather than keep trying to live up to other people's expectations.Life's too short for that kinda thing.
It's like a choir competition.People don't know and don't care how difficult it actually is or how difficult it was to get there,they only want to see the prize at the end.Same thing.Parents don't seem to know or care how difficult it is to do well in everything,they've been alive for too long.They only want to see their kids being overachievers.
If you know me well enough,I hate to disappoint other people,especially if I can't really control it.No,I mean like Math and Chinese.Things I've been trying to pass for about 9 years now and I still haven't been able to,especially even though I worked hard for this year's MYs.I mean,yes,they've finally improved,but it's still a fail.I know I can't expect miracles,but it's disappointing all the same.I know I'm gonna fail and yet I'm disappointed when I do.
Hey,I'm allowed to be disappointed in myself,but it's utterly annoying when other people are disappointed in me,for what I've done or not done or what other crap you guys can think of.Why should I be concerned with whether you're disappointed or not?It's not even my problem.
Like Ms Tham said,give your best and nobody can ask any more from you.
So is it really worth it worrying about what my parents might think?
Would I be degrading my self-esteem if I do?
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Sunday,May 20th 2007
Do you remember the cute baby polar bear Knut?Everybody adored him when he was a sweet litte bear.
Now that he's growing up,people don't think he's cute anymore?
He shouldn't be neglected because he's "grown up".Nothing should be neglected because they've grown up.It's not fair.
People don't see that he's still a kid,they don't look deep enough.
Now that he's growing up,people don't think he's cute anymore?
He shouldn't be neglected because he's "grown up".Nothing should be neglected because they've grown up.It's not fair.
People don't see that he's still a kid,they don't look deep enough.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Friday,May 11th 2007
I feel so lousy I can't even smile.I don't know why,my face is just dead today,smiling muscles aren't working.
"Ha,ha,ha."
I woke up early this morning (9.30am) with the intention of going for a jog,but since the ground was wet and there was a very slight drizzle,I decided I should go in the evening instead.Yes,9.30am is pretty early, considering the post-exam thing and the no-school thing.In the past I would've slept till 2pm.
Despite what you old people say,young people do need a lot of sleep.We are not as energetic as you think.We need REST.
Since I wasn't going jogging in the morning,I had instant noodles for breakfast while watching "Hoodwinked",a DVD Van.Chew lent me.Yeah,I missed the music.The yodeling is fun.I'm hoping they sell the soundtrack in S'pore.
After breakfast,I decided to paint while using the computer.I'm done painting.I took the wrapper off a new mini-canvas and painted a red background.Then,I painted an abstract horse with a cactus infront of it,and a yellow smoky sun above.
If it weren't for the abstract horse,it would look pretty childish.Maybe it already does look pretty childish.Hmm.Whatever.I named it "Obstacle".
Let's do a write-up for it since I haven't done one!
Lets see..
"Obstacles in life are common,and they come in all forms.If you're sailing on the high seas,you'd hope there'd be no storms,because that would be a challenge,an obstacle,wouldn't it?
If you're climbing up a mountain,you'd hope it wouldn't be too steep.If you're talking to someone,you'd hope they wouldn't object to what you're saying.
This is a painting of a horse with a cactus in its path in the desert,where a sun hovers above.
The red background signifies the frustration the horse is experiencing in trying to get past the obstacle (in this case,the cactus) in his way,but the cactus is standing still and blocking the horse,not willing to budge an inch.
The yellow sun is bright and blistering in the sky,and is putting the horse under tremendous pressure by engulfing it in heat.
The poor horse is left helpless and stuck.
There are people in this world who have many obstacles in their lives to overcome,but they may need certain things to do so.Is life all about overcoming one obstacle after another?When would it end and where would you be then?What if some obstacles just cannot be overcome,should we just give up?If not,what should we do?"
"Ha,ha,ha."
I woke up early this morning (9.30am) with the intention of going for a jog,but since the ground was wet and there was a very slight drizzle,I decided I should go in the evening instead.Yes,9.30am is pretty early, considering the post-exam thing and the no-school thing.In the past I would've slept till 2pm.
Despite what you old people say,young people do need a lot of sleep.We are not as energetic as you think.We need REST.
Since I wasn't going jogging in the morning,I had instant noodles for breakfast while watching "Hoodwinked",a DVD Van.Chew lent me.Yeah,I missed the music.The yodeling is fun.I'm hoping they sell the soundtrack in S'pore.
After breakfast,I decided to paint while using the computer.I'm done painting.I took the wrapper off a new mini-canvas and painted a red background.Then,I painted an abstract horse with a cactus infront of it,and a yellow smoky sun above.
If it weren't for the abstract horse,it would look pretty childish.Maybe it already does look pretty childish.Hmm.Whatever.I named it "Obstacle".
Let's do a write-up for it since I haven't done one!
Lets see..
"Obstacles in life are common,and they come in all forms.If you're sailing on the high seas,you'd hope there'd be no storms,because that would be a challenge,an obstacle,wouldn't it?
If you're climbing up a mountain,you'd hope it wouldn't be too steep.If you're talking to someone,you'd hope they wouldn't object to what you're saying.
This is a painting of a horse with a cactus in its path in the desert,where a sun hovers above.
The red background signifies the frustration the horse is experiencing in trying to get past the obstacle (in this case,the cactus) in his way,but the cactus is standing still and blocking the horse,not willing to budge an inch.
The yellow sun is bright and blistering in the sky,and is putting the horse under tremendous pressure by engulfing it in heat.
The poor horse is left helpless and stuck.
There are people in this world who have many obstacles in their lives to overcome,but they may need certain things to do so.Is life all about overcoming one obstacle after another?When would it end and where would you be then?What if some obstacles just cannot be overcome,should we just give up?If not,what should we do?"
Thursday, May 10, 2007
The page is all jumbled up again.I wonder what's wrong with it.
Am blogging while waiting for some "Hannibal Rising" Youtube videos to load.
Art today was all right,I guess,although I'm not very happy.My final piece looked so plain and unimpressive somehow.It is/was a painting of an expressionless man with red eyes,his brain exposed and alight,and he is holding a can of soda.
Lets see,how do I say this?
If you people saw the painting,you wouldn't know what the hell it's about at all.It's more..deep.Abstract,I should say.
You see,my main "storyline" is "If you throw away your memories,you throw away your life".
Here's my Art write-up:
"When I think of soda,I think of couch potatoes,people who spend a lot of time watching television.While watching television,I expect they eat or drink something just to keep their mouths occupied.
I chose this topic "Dispose" because I think life would be meaningless without memories.If you do not have memories (especially the good kind),what is the use of living?It is said that goldfish have a memory span of only about 3 seconds.How would we feel if we could not remember all our precious thoughts and experiences?Would we even feel deprived?
My final piece is a painting of an expressionless man with his brain exposed and alight,and he is holding a can of soda.
I want to stress,with this piece of artwork,how precious and important memories are in life.If you throw away your memories,you throw away your life.You become a nobody,no joy or sorrow.Your brain rots away since there is no use for it,it burns up rapidly.
The soda can represents the waste of time watching television.Lazyness,idleness,ungratefulness and isolation.Life just wasted to the extent of you being emotionless,when your eyes are the only thing(s) that can express self-hatred for the regret you experience inside."
I couldn't put the whole lot in italics since the buttons aren't working,so look out for the " "s.
I can't believe I've finally found the clip of the murder of Dortlich from "Hannibal Rising"!I quite liked that scene when I watched the movie.
Am blogging while waiting for some "Hannibal Rising" Youtube videos to load.
Art today was all right,I guess,although I'm not very happy.My final piece looked so plain and unimpressive somehow.It is/was a painting of an expressionless man with red eyes,his brain exposed and alight,and he is holding a can of soda.
Lets see,how do I say this?
If you people saw the painting,you wouldn't know what the hell it's about at all.It's more..deep.Abstract,I should say.
You see,my main "storyline" is "If you throw away your memories,you throw away your life".
Here's my Art write-up:
"When I think of soda,I think of couch potatoes,people who spend a lot of time watching television.While watching television,I expect they eat or drink something just to keep their mouths occupied.
I chose this topic "Dispose" because I think life would be meaningless without memories.If you do not have memories (especially the good kind),what is the use of living?It is said that goldfish have a memory span of only about 3 seconds.How would we feel if we could not remember all our precious thoughts and experiences?Would we even feel deprived?
My final piece is a painting of an expressionless man with his brain exposed and alight,and he is holding a can of soda.
I want to stress,with this piece of artwork,how precious and important memories are in life.If you throw away your memories,you throw away your life.You become a nobody,no joy or sorrow.Your brain rots away since there is no use for it,it burns up rapidly.
The soda can represents the waste of time watching television.Lazyness,idleness,ungratefulness and isolation.Life just wasted to the extent of you being emotionless,when your eyes are the only thing(s) that can express self-hatred for the regret you experience inside."
I couldn't put the whole lot in italics since the buttons aren't working,so look out for the " "s.
I can't believe I've finally found the clip of the murder of Dortlich from "Hannibal Rising"!I quite liked that scene when I watched the movie.
Only this morning while I was looking in the mirror did it occur to me that the juniors might not have had to go to school today!I don't know,maybe they don't have a reason to go today?Just guessing.However,if they had to and there was assembly and School Singers,I'd be pretty worried.
It's only 9.43am,and I'm having an egg tart for breakfast.I wait in anticipation for 11.30am,when I finally sit down and paint for Art.It's been a long time since I last painted something,a few months,maybe.I miss the feel of a paintbrush on paper,the cool paint brushed over,the patience it takes and the satisfaction when I'm done.
I've listened to the other tracks on the Michael Bublé CD I bought yesterday.Some of them are quite nice,very smooth,some sad,in a way.Others are really surprising,literally.They just jump out at you.
Anyway,I wanted to type about his style and confidence in singing.
Style.It's so smooth,and he sounds like he doesn't give a toss about singing,but sometimes jazz sounds like that.He still hits all the notes properly.His vocal range is so looowww.
Style is one thing,but confidence is another.It really shows in his singing,he's so confident of his singing,as if he knows that people will love his music.I admire these two points,because I probably don't have them,LOL.
I still like "Everything" best,because it sounds most happy.It's about this man singing about his girlfriend,how they first were,when she was playing it coy and how he found that cute.She's his everything in life.Then he sings about not believing that he's her man now,and he gets to kiss her.
Sweet? I thought so.
It's only 9.43am,and I'm having an egg tart for breakfast.I wait in anticipation for 11.30am,when I finally sit down and paint for Art.It's been a long time since I last painted something,a few months,maybe.I miss the feel of a paintbrush on paper,the cool paint brushed over,the patience it takes and the satisfaction when I'm done.
I've listened to the other tracks on the Michael Bublé CD I bought yesterday.Some of them are quite nice,very smooth,some sad,in a way.Others are really surprising,literally.They just jump out at you.
Anyway,I wanted to type about his style and confidence in singing.
Style.It's so smooth,and he sounds like he doesn't give a toss about singing,but sometimes jazz sounds like that.He still hits all the notes properly.His vocal range is so looowww.
Style is one thing,but confidence is another.It really shows in his singing,he's so confident of his singing,as if he knows that people will love his music.I admire these two points,because I probably don't have them,LOL.
I still like "Everything" best,because it sounds most happy.It's about this man singing about his girlfriend,how they first were,when she was playing it coy and how he found that cute.She's his everything in life.Then he sings about not believing that he's her man now,and he gets to kiss her.
Sweet? I thought so.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Wed,May 9th 2007
This thing really has a problem.I've been refreshing the page for the last few minutes but it seems the stuff on the page is all jumbled up.
I hope this turns out okay.
I had Physics MYs today.The last acadamic subject,whoopee!However,I have this really bad feeling that Biology is the only subject I'm going to pass.What makes it worse is that it's not even a "whole" subject on its own,since I'm taking combined Sciences.
Darn.
I'd just die if I only passed Biology,because I don't think I've studied so hard before.I mean,I actually studied,for a start,but never before so much.
I hope I can even pass Biology.
After my Physics exam today,it was about 9.30am.I decided to treat myself to something since I've worked hard,despite the fact that I'm probably going to do really badly in more than half the subjects.I've been wanting the new Michael Bublé CD,saw the commercial on TV and quite liked one of the songs featured,called "Everything".
Was frustrated because Popular bookstore and CD Rama weren't going to be open until 11am,so I went to AMK Hub to waste time.I considered going to Bishan,but was afraid I wouldn't have enough money in/on my EZ-Link to get home,so I had to patiently wait till 11am when the AMK Popular bookstore opened.
Went to NTUC Extra,decided to try the non-diary chocolate I've been wanting to try for awhile.I was curious to find out how chocolate would taste without any diary-related products at all.
Gosh,PLEASE don't try it.
It's like..It breaks down in your mouth so easily,as if it collapsed or something.Also,it tastes horrible.Of course,being "chocolate",it still tastes like cocoa,but no,do stick to the chocolates you trust,people.
I spent my day working hard on my Art prepwork and listening to "Everything" on repeat for hours on end.My CD-radio thingy even stopped playing by itself at one point,no joke.It's old,so the machinery inside is kinda messed up already.
I'm left with my mindmap to copy from my little sketchbook to a piece of drawing block,and a 50-100 word writeup on my Artwork,which should be enjoyable to do.
I wonder how I'm going to paint with that stiff plaster around the middle finger of my right hand.I have no idea how I got a wound there.I didn't even notice it until it stung in the shower under running water.
Tomorrow's ART!It only starts at 11.30am,so I only have to get to school by 11am,meet others in the canteen,I suppose.I wish I could go to school at the normal time,I'll be missing School Singers!The juniors would absolutely die without the seniors.Oh no!!!How will they cope?!Today's was bad enough!!!Must start making them do vocal warm-ups before singing.It's always so terribly out of tune and either screechy or throaty.
Argh!Who will take their attendance?!I've been taking it.I hope someone takes the initiative to take the attendance tomorrow morning.
I hope this turns out okay.
I had Physics MYs today.The last acadamic subject,whoopee!However,I have this really bad feeling that Biology is the only subject I'm going to pass.What makes it worse is that it's not even a "whole" subject on its own,since I'm taking combined Sciences.
Darn.
I'd just die if I only passed Biology,because I don't think I've studied so hard before.I mean,I actually studied,for a start,but never before so much.
I hope I can even pass Biology.
After my Physics exam today,it was about 9.30am.I decided to treat myself to something since I've worked hard,despite the fact that I'm probably going to do really badly in more than half the subjects.I've been wanting the new Michael Bublé CD,saw the commercial on TV and quite liked one of the songs featured,called "Everything".
Was frustrated because Popular bookstore and CD Rama weren't going to be open until 11am,so I went to AMK Hub to waste time.I considered going to Bishan,but was afraid I wouldn't have enough money in/on my EZ-Link to get home,so I had to patiently wait till 11am when the AMK Popular bookstore opened.
Went to NTUC Extra,decided to try the non-diary chocolate I've been wanting to try for awhile.I was curious to find out how chocolate would taste without any diary-related products at all.
Gosh,PLEASE don't try it.
It's like..It breaks down in your mouth so easily,as if it collapsed or something.Also,it tastes horrible.Of course,being "chocolate",it still tastes like cocoa,but no,do stick to the chocolates you trust,people.
I spent my day working hard on my Art prepwork and listening to "Everything" on repeat for hours on end.My CD-radio thingy even stopped playing by itself at one point,no joke.It's old,so the machinery inside is kinda messed up already.
I'm left with my mindmap to copy from my little sketchbook to a piece of drawing block,and a 50-100 word writeup on my Artwork,which should be enjoyable to do.
I wonder how I'm going to paint with that stiff plaster around the middle finger of my right hand.I have no idea how I got a wound there.I didn't even notice it until it stung in the shower under running water.
Tomorrow's ART!It only starts at 11.30am,so I only have to get to school by 11am,meet others in the canteen,I suppose.I wish I could go to school at the normal time,I'll be missing School Singers!The juniors would absolutely die without the seniors.Oh no!!!How will they cope?!Today's was bad enough!!!Must start making them do vocal warm-ups before singing.It's always so terribly out of tune and either screechy or throaty.
Argh!Who will take their attendance?!I've been taking it.I hope someone takes the initiative to take the attendance tomorrow morning.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Sat,May 5th 2007
Who are we to know what is really in Man's nature?
Just finished watching the 6-part biography of Ed Gein on Youtube.com.If you read back a few posts,you'll read about my nightmare about him.I never actually knew very much about him,Wikipedia didn't delve so deeply into his life/thoughts.
Watching the Youtube videos,I discovered that his life was actually quite sad.He lost his family members one by one,starting with his father,then his brother,then his mother.His mother meant the most to him.Her death was probably the reason why he went mad.
I actually feel sympathy for him.Who wouldn't go mad after losing their whole "world"?
He confessed to only killing 2 people (exact number not known),but also dug bodies up from the graves and things like that.He made things out of human remains.The closet full of "clothes" made of human skin is fascinating.How much patience it must've taken him.
Poor guy.He was such a nice guy,too.He was a model inmate in prison,sat quietly reading the papers and all that.Before he went to prison,he often helped his neighbours fix things,and they trusted him.They liked him.He was a Mommy's Boy.
After I finished watching the videos,my heart suddenly felt so heavy.Was he really insane when he committed those crimes?
Made plans with Si Jia again,to study at the library tomorrow morning.Argh,it's terrible having to wake up so early,but at least it's for a good cause and I won't feel so guilty.No,not guilty for losing sleep,but guilty for being lazy.Also,going to the library gives me a sense of peace.Not only audibly.I like being around books,makes me feel at home somehow.No,not home literally.My home isn't filled with shelves of books,though how I wish.
This exam period is somehow making me want to read more books.A way of retreating,I guess.
Being in the library also makes me study.I don't know why.Ambiance,perhaps?Or maybe it's Si Jia that makes me want to study.I mean,she's almost everything I'm not!She can juggle so many things and still do well in every one of them.Overachiever.
Just finished watching the 6-part biography of Ed Gein on Youtube.com.If you read back a few posts,you'll read about my nightmare about him.I never actually knew very much about him,Wikipedia didn't delve so deeply into his life/thoughts.
Watching the Youtube videos,I discovered that his life was actually quite sad.He lost his family members one by one,starting with his father,then his brother,then his mother.His mother meant the most to him.Her death was probably the reason why he went mad.
I actually feel sympathy for him.Who wouldn't go mad after losing their whole "world"?
He confessed to only killing 2 people (exact number not known),but also dug bodies up from the graves and things like that.He made things out of human remains.The closet full of "clothes" made of human skin is fascinating.How much patience it must've taken him.
Poor guy.He was such a nice guy,too.He was a model inmate in prison,sat quietly reading the papers and all that.Before he went to prison,he often helped his neighbours fix things,and they trusted him.They liked him.He was a Mommy's Boy.
After I finished watching the videos,my heart suddenly felt so heavy.Was he really insane when he committed those crimes?
Made plans with Si Jia again,to study at the library tomorrow morning.Argh,it's terrible having to wake up so early,but at least it's for a good cause and I won't feel so guilty.No,not guilty for losing sleep,but guilty for being lazy.Also,going to the library gives me a sense of peace.Not only audibly.I like being around books,makes me feel at home somehow.No,not home literally.My home isn't filled with shelves of books,though how I wish.
This exam period is somehow making me want to read more books.A way of retreating,I guess.
Being in the library also makes me study.I don't know why.Ambiance,perhaps?Or maybe it's Si Jia that makes me want to study.I mean,she's almost everything I'm not!She can juggle so many things and still do well in every one of them.Overachiever.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Friday,May 4th 2007
I want to visit Lithuania!
It's one of those Nothern-Europe places that look beautiful.It has rural and urban areas,but it's the rural ones I love.Those green-grassed places...
One thing I would like to do before I die is to go to those beautiful green-grassed mountain valleys by myself and sing,just to hear the echo of my voice.
Pretty.
Meeting Kat and Si Jia for studying in AMK library tomorrow.Not sure if Gerv is going.Meeting Kat at AMK MRT station at 9.30am because she claims she doesn't know how to walk to the library from there.Si Jia will meet us at the library.I told her to be more kiasu this time,for the last time we went,which was last week or so,there was already a large group of people standing outside the library doors at 9.40am,waiting for the doors to open.
Once those doors opened,I couldn't even believe they were people.They practically charged everywhere,especially upstairs,to chope seats.
It was really,really scary.
Geog paper was alright,I guess.It didn't go too badly,I wasn't stuck or anything.Just had to write till my hand cramped up,but I still had to continue writing.Terrible,ain't it?
I think I missed out a few points here and there,but no paper could ever seem worse than Math.I still have a few more papers to go: Accounts,Chinese,Physics,Art.
Really worried about Accs and Physics.They require a lot of memory work.Chinese for me just depends on luck,and Art is plain creativity and patience.
Oh gosh,you know I'm starting to lose my manners?!What's wrong with me!I realised that I haven't been saying my "please"s recently.The "thank you"s haven't disappeared,but where are the "please"s?!I usually try to make it a point to say "please" and "thank you" so I seem polite but I could actually be pissed off at someone.
Must force myself back into the good habit of being polite,even when all I want to do is stab someone in the chest.
It's one of those Nothern-Europe places that look beautiful.It has rural and urban areas,but it's the rural ones I love.Those green-grassed places...
One thing I would like to do before I die is to go to those beautiful green-grassed mountain valleys by myself and sing,just to hear the echo of my voice.
Pretty.
Meeting Kat and Si Jia for studying in AMK library tomorrow.Not sure if Gerv is going.Meeting Kat at AMK MRT station at 9.30am because she claims she doesn't know how to walk to the library from there.Si Jia will meet us at the library.I told her to be more kiasu this time,for the last time we went,which was last week or so,there was already a large group of people standing outside the library doors at 9.40am,waiting for the doors to open.
Once those doors opened,I couldn't even believe they were people.They practically charged everywhere,especially upstairs,to chope seats.
It was really,really scary.
Geog paper was alright,I guess.It didn't go too badly,I wasn't stuck or anything.Just had to write till my hand cramped up,but I still had to continue writing.Terrible,ain't it?
I think I missed out a few points here and there,but no paper could ever seem worse than Math.I still have a few more papers to go: Accounts,Chinese,Physics,Art.
Really worried about Accs and Physics.They require a lot of memory work.Chinese for me just depends on luck,and Art is plain creativity and patience.
Oh gosh,you know I'm starting to lose my manners?!What's wrong with me!I realised that I haven't been saying my "please"s recently.The "thank you"s haven't disappeared,but where are the "please"s?!I usually try to make it a point to say "please" and "thank you" so I seem polite but I could actually be pissed off at someone.
Must force myself back into the good habit of being polite,even when all I want to do is stab someone in the chest.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Thursday,May 3rd 2007
It's been a really long day,and it isn't even over yet.It's only 7.18pm.
Geography tomorrow,am worried,because ever since the start of Sec 3,I haven't been doing well in Geog.It's a real sudden thing,I don't even know what I did wrong.
My SS paper,which I took yesterday,was bad only because I didn't have enough time to finish all the questions,darn it.I lost 18 marks just like that!
At least Bio cheered me up considerably,because I was quite prepared for Bio.I was worried,of course,but prepared.That was the feeling I had when I aimed to pass my Sec 2 EOY Science exam.I studied like crazy.I managed to pass my Sec 2 EOY Science,a big leap from my results for my Mid-Years that same year.
Bio was surprisingly easy.Well,easy enough,I hope it won't turn out like Math.When I do Math,the paper seems so easy,and makes me think that I could maybe pass,but when I get the paper back after it's been marked,I become terribly disappointed because I did/do so badly.I knew how to answer most of the questions in my Bio paper yesterday.At one point during the exam,I panicked a little because I couldn't name the uterus.I just couldn't remember,it just vanished from my mind.
I told myself to calm down,and that I'll go back to that later.Moved on to the next question and the answer popped back into my mind. "Uterus"! YESSS. I was so happy,I started smiling to myself.People must've thought I was crazy.
Bio is the only paper that I'm happy with so far.All the others were crap compared to Bio.Now,"crap" not as in,you know,excrement,but "crap" as in rubbish.
Geography tomorrow,am worried,because ever since the start of Sec 3,I haven't been doing well in Geog.It's a real sudden thing,I don't even know what I did wrong.
My SS paper,which I took yesterday,was bad only because I didn't have enough time to finish all the questions,darn it.I lost 18 marks just like that!
At least Bio cheered me up considerably,because I was quite prepared for Bio.I was worried,of course,but prepared.That was the feeling I had when I aimed to pass my Sec 2 EOY Science exam.I studied like crazy.I managed to pass my Sec 2 EOY Science,a big leap from my results for my Mid-Years that same year.
Bio was surprisingly easy.Well,easy enough,I hope it won't turn out like Math.When I do Math,the paper seems so easy,and makes me think that I could maybe pass,but when I get the paper back after it's been marked,I become terribly disappointed because I did/do so badly.I knew how to answer most of the questions in my Bio paper yesterday.At one point during the exam,I panicked a little because I couldn't name the uterus.I just couldn't remember,it just vanished from my mind.
I told myself to calm down,and that I'll go back to that later.Moved on to the next question and the answer popped back into my mind. "Uterus"! YESSS. I was so happy,I started smiling to myself.People must've thought I was crazy.
Bio is the only paper that I'm happy with so far.All the others were crap compared to Bio.Now,"crap" not as in,you know,excrement,but "crap" as in rubbish.
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