Well, I've gotten myself back into Art-mode. Been drawing and colouring all day. Alas, I haven't even finished one drawing today, but that's all right, it's looking good. Maybe I'll post a picture of it when I'm done. I got the photo from the internet, it's been hell colouring. My hands hurt, my fingertips are peeling from the dish washing soap, air-conditioning, piano-playing and colouring.
Been practising piano a lot, and I'm proud to say I've progressed. I'm halfway through the 1st variation of that Mozart piece.
I feel a growing interest in classical music. It all started with opera, really. I casually mentioned castrati at the beginning of June, which led to my sister showing me a video of Philippe Jaroussky on Youtube. I fell in love with the song in the video and couldn't stop listening to it. It led to me buying the CD and listening to other songs by different composers like Handel and Gluck. Then, it branched out into listening to their music by other artists. I stumbled upon "Farinelli il Castrato" on Youtube and got hooked on the music as well, so borrowed the CD and got exposed to music by composers like Hasse and Riccardo Broschi.
I watched movies like "Amadeus" and "Danny the Dog" and it led to a lot of Mozart's music, which I quite like. I've been listening to a lot of his music on my player, but it doesn't have a lot of orchestral works, only piano sonatas and stuff. I prefer the orchestral works. Just put up another piece on my blog, which, if you turn up the volume on your computer, you'll be able to hear. Have patience to listen to the whole thing.
This piece is played at the beginning of the movie "Amadeus".
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 29th 2008
I think I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
A few months after I came back from Italy, I was still dreaming about it nightly, that I was eating gelato in Venice, that I was still strolling through the streets of Riva del Garda.
I miss China so much, I've been dreaming of it since I returned 2 weeks ago. It seems like an awfully long time, though. I miss all the people I met there. Okok, two living things, one not even a human being, but still.
Anyway, over the last few days, I've discovered a couple of things about myself. Just last night, I sat at the photo drawers, flipping through the albums. It was like looking at a past I can't remember. I kept flipping through album after album, looking for a particular something, but I didn't and don't know what it was. It was a very sad, empty feeling.
I gazed at the sweet face of the happy child in those photos, and honestly, can't believe that it was me.
Also, I realised that there wasn't a single photo with me and both mommy and daddy in them. It was either mommy and I, or daddy and I, never together.
A few months after I came back from Italy, I was still dreaming about it nightly, that I was eating gelato in Venice, that I was still strolling through the streets of Riva del Garda.
I miss China so much, I've been dreaming of it since I returned 2 weeks ago. It seems like an awfully long time, though. I miss all the people I met there. Okok, two living things, one not even a human being, but still.
Anyway, over the last few days, I've discovered a couple of things about myself. Just last night, I sat at the photo drawers, flipping through the albums. It was like looking at a past I can't remember. I kept flipping through album after album, looking for a particular something, but I didn't and don't know what it was. It was a very sad, empty feeling.
I gazed at the sweet face of the happy child in those photos, and honestly, can't believe that it was me.
Also, I realised that there wasn't a single photo with me and both mommy and daddy in them. It was either mommy and I, or daddy and I, never together.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wednesday, 24th December 2008
Been sleepless for the past few weeks since the 'O' levels, don't know why. The stress should have been long gone by now, but I still have trouble sleeping. I can't remember how to sleep.
Maybe I should get some sleeping pills from the pharmacy. D'you think they would sell me some, or is it a controlled drug?
The Venus Flytrap I bought the other day is still doing well. New traps are sprouting, it's really cute. And really good, because that means I'm taking good care of it. All it gets is light energy from the table lamp, and distilled water. I'm giving it at least 4 hours of light per day. Where are those bug-filled nights I hate so much? The traps are hungry.
Can't wait to attend my first Midnight Mass tonight. I shall go early, take my time walking there and listening to the choir singing carols. I hope they practised hard.
Just started learning a new piano piece, Mozart's Sonata no. 11 (KV 331). The first part is relatively simple, haven't started on the other parts yet. Looks scary. Gonna have to practise more to improve. At least now I can say I play classical pieces, not anime music. My "Lascia ch'io Pianga" is nowhere near polished.
Maybe I should get some sleeping pills from the pharmacy. D'you think they would sell me some, or is it a controlled drug?
The Venus Flytrap I bought the other day is still doing well. New traps are sprouting, it's really cute. And really good, because that means I'm taking good care of it. All it gets is light energy from the table lamp, and distilled water. I'm giving it at least 4 hours of light per day. Where are those bug-filled nights I hate so much? The traps are hungry.
Can't wait to attend my first Midnight Mass tonight. I shall go early, take my time walking there and listening to the choir singing carols. I hope they practised hard.
Just started learning a new piano piece, Mozart's Sonata no. 11 (KV 331). The first part is relatively simple, haven't started on the other parts yet. Looks scary. Gonna have to practise more to improve. At least now I can say I play classical pieces, not anime music. My "Lascia ch'io Pianga" is nowhere near polished.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Saturday, December 20th 2008
These photos and places aren't the reason I love China, but they are pretty photos. Notice how the autumn trees aren't fake and are planted in soil? You can't ever see them in Singapore, that's for sure.
Last night's concert wasn't fantastic, but it felt so good to be back with people I love again, I was willing to ignore the bad part. It was scary to hear how the discipline has dropped since we left, especially the PT part, but it was nice to hear about how they're growing up. After the concert, some choir girls and I went to Starbucks to grab a drink, and then go to that big area near Esplanade (where people go to break-dance, etc) to sing and reminisce about the old days. We're meeting up at school again soon, hopefully we can get past the security guards.
I think I'll spend Christmas alone this year. It seems nice enough to sit quietly and have a good meal, one that I'll cook for myself, and then stroll to the church near my house to attend my first Midnight Mass. I can observe everything silently and maybe learn a few things.
I used to dream about this, you know, just being able to go to Midnight Mass and witness the celebration. I was never allowed, of course. Firstly, it's at midnight- no way my parents would have allowed me out this late. Secondly, they all spit on religion anyway, so of course they were/are against it.
I was so clueless about Midnight Mass, Freda practically laughed at me.
This Christmas, however, will be different. My parents will be away in Korea, my siblings out, and I'll be home alone. Nobody appreciates peace and quiet as much as I.
Maybe except dear Rabbit.
So I'll spend Christmas with Rabbit this year, great! He won't laugh at me, he won't fling insults at me, he won't spit on any religion. He won't interrupt what I say, he'll gladly have dinner with me, and nothing I say to him is taken as a joke.
Anything can be done, if it's done with determination.
Last night's concert wasn't fantastic, but it felt so good to be back with people I love again, I was willing to ignore the bad part. It was scary to hear how the discipline has dropped since we left, especially the PT part, but it was nice to hear about how they're growing up. After the concert, some choir girls and I went to Starbucks to grab a drink, and then go to that big area near Esplanade (where people go to break-dance, etc) to sing and reminisce about the old days. We're meeting up at school again soon, hopefully we can get past the security guards.
I think I'll spend Christmas alone this year. It seems nice enough to sit quietly and have a good meal, one that I'll cook for myself, and then stroll to the church near my house to attend my first Midnight Mass. I can observe everything silently and maybe learn a few things.
I used to dream about this, you know, just being able to go to Midnight Mass and witness the celebration. I was never allowed, of course. Firstly, it's at midnight- no way my parents would have allowed me out this late. Secondly, they all spit on religion anyway, so of course they were/are against it.
I was so clueless about Midnight Mass, Freda practically laughed at me.
This Christmas, however, will be different. My parents will be away in Korea, my siblings out, and I'll be home alone. Nobody appreciates peace and quiet as much as I.
Maybe except dear Rabbit.
So I'll spend Christmas with Rabbit this year, great! He won't laugh at me, he won't fling insults at me, he won't spit on any religion. He won't interrupt what I say, he'll gladly have dinner with me, and nothing I say to him is taken as a joke.
Anything can be done, if it's done with determination.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 17th 2008
Just a few photos I wanted to share with you guys. These came from the movie "Unleashed/Danny the Dog". If you watch it, you might just become a Jet Li fan, if you aren't already. :)
I'm serious. Don't say I didn't warn you.
He's super huggable there.
Anyway, went for lunch with Dad today. He started talking about my future, and told me that it doesn't matter whether I go to a bad school or not, etc etc, and he just wants me to be happy with my future, what ever I want to do. He said if I can't make it into my choice of course, I will always have other options, and I shouldn't ever give up.
Of course I know that he's worried about my results, who wouldn't be? I'm worried too, even if it doesn't look like it.
All I can do now is wait for the results and hope for the best. There's a future for me somewhere, but it might not be in Biomedical Science. My results will tell me if I'm really cut out for something else.
I know I'll always have my singing, and if I had to choose, I wouldn't give up singing for anything.
I'm serious. Don't say I didn't warn you.
He's super huggable there.
Anyway, went for lunch with Dad today. He started talking about my future, and told me that it doesn't matter whether I go to a bad school or not, etc etc, and he just wants me to be happy with my future, what ever I want to do. He said if I can't make it into my choice of course, I will always have other options, and I shouldn't ever give up.
Of course I know that he's worried about my results, who wouldn't be? I'm worried too, even if it doesn't look like it.
All I can do now is wait for the results and hope for the best. There's a future for me somewhere, but it might not be in Biomedical Science. My results will tell me if I'm really cut out for something else.
I know I'll always have my singing, and if I had to choose, I wouldn't give up singing for anything.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Tuesday, December 16th 2008
Hey everybody!
Been watching more Jet Li movies. He's quite a cute little fellow, isn't he? I bought this movie just a couple of days ago, it's the best one I've seen yet.
I'm cooped up at home again, this time only because I'm ill. Am down with flu. I wonder why there's no shortage of mucus? Been blowing my nose every few minutes, yet minutes later, there's a nose full of mucus again. It's very, very annoying, but I try to be patient with my body. The poor thing is probably struggling to flush out the virus.
It's strange. All that time I spent in China, I never fell ill once, even when I was shivering at -13 degC. Only when I returned to this dreaded island of a country, I fell ill with flu. I'm starting to miss China badly, not because I wasn't ill there, but I miss the air, the language, the people and their attitude, the things they sell, the small, quiet ancient towns and the scenery.
It's just the things that can't be seen in this country.
Here, the windows are barred, the air is polluted, everywhere you look you see tall buildings and an endless stretch of cars. Our history is so shallow, so bleak. We are so young.
I'm starting to sink into depression upon the realisation that I have to stay on this small, polluted, modern, overcrowded island until I turn 21. Until then, I have no power to do anything, go anywhere outside of this country without my parents' consent. However, on the bright side, I've already started saving up. I'm hoping to go to Venice (alone or otherwise) in Dec 2009, but if I can't, at least I'll be well on the way to saving enough for when I'm 21.
Hey, a kid can only save so much in a year. I have reduced myself to spending only $10 a week from Jan-Nov next year. If I can earn $200 per week, $100 would go to my savings, the other $100 would go to voice lessons. My family refuses to pay for it. If I save $20 out of my $30 per week, I would have $880 by Nov 30th 2009. So, if my calculations are correct, I would be able to save up $5280 by Nov 30th next year. If I add money from any occasions (birthday/Christmas/Chinese New Year), I would end up with about $6000, just enough for flight, accomodation, food and other expenses if I scrimp.
If I decide to go to China again and leave Venice to when I'm 21, I would definitely have enough money. It doesn't cost as much to go to China. Actually, it costs much less.
I'm so glad we bought 3 types of Chinese tea back. Been drinking tea daily, already had 4 mugs today. It's actually quite soothing, and it's very good for the body. I hope to get into the tea-drinking routine.
Before I went to China, I was still at the Twinings tea-drinking stage. I was drinking the "chamomile, vanilla and honey" tea with an excessive dose of honey. It was comforting, but somehow too thick and flavourful for a drink before bedtime. In case you don't know, chamomile is supposed to help you relax and sleep well. Without the excessive dose of honey, however, the tea tastes horrible. Now that I have Chinese tea, tea-drinking has suddenly become much more interesting.
Been watching more Jet Li movies. He's quite a cute little fellow, isn't he? I bought this movie just a couple of days ago, it's the best one I've seen yet.
I'm cooped up at home again, this time only because I'm ill. Am down with flu. I wonder why there's no shortage of mucus? Been blowing my nose every few minutes, yet minutes later, there's a nose full of mucus again. It's very, very annoying, but I try to be patient with my body. The poor thing is probably struggling to flush out the virus.
It's strange. All that time I spent in China, I never fell ill once, even when I was shivering at -13 degC. Only when I returned to this dreaded island of a country, I fell ill with flu. I'm starting to miss China badly, not because I wasn't ill there, but I miss the air, the language, the people and their attitude, the things they sell, the small, quiet ancient towns and the scenery.
It's just the things that can't be seen in this country.
Here, the windows are barred, the air is polluted, everywhere you look you see tall buildings and an endless stretch of cars. Our history is so shallow, so bleak. We are so young.
I'm starting to sink into depression upon the realisation that I have to stay on this small, polluted, modern, overcrowded island until I turn 21. Until then, I have no power to do anything, go anywhere outside of this country without my parents' consent. However, on the bright side, I've already started saving up. I'm hoping to go to Venice (alone or otherwise) in Dec 2009, but if I can't, at least I'll be well on the way to saving enough for when I'm 21.
Hey, a kid can only save so much in a year. I have reduced myself to spending only $10 a week from Jan-Nov next year. If I can earn $200 per week, $100 would go to my savings, the other $100 would go to voice lessons. My family refuses to pay for it. If I save $20 out of my $30 per week, I would have $880 by Nov 30th 2009. So, if my calculations are correct, I would be able to save up $5280 by Nov 30th next year. If I add money from any occasions (birthday/Christmas/Chinese New Year), I would end up with about $6000, just enough for flight, accomodation, food and other expenses if I scrimp.
If I decide to go to China again and leave Venice to when I'm 21, I would definitely have enough money. It doesn't cost as much to go to China. Actually, it costs much less.
I'm so glad we bought 3 types of Chinese tea back. Been drinking tea daily, already had 4 mugs today. It's actually quite soothing, and it's very good for the body. I hope to get into the tea-drinking routine.
Before I went to China, I was still at the Twinings tea-drinking stage. I was drinking the "chamomile, vanilla and honey" tea with an excessive dose of honey. It was comforting, but somehow too thick and flavourful for a drink before bedtime. In case you don't know, chamomile is supposed to help you relax and sleep well. Without the excessive dose of honey, however, the tea tastes horrible. Now that I have Chinese tea, tea-drinking has suddenly become much more interesting.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sunday, December 14th 2008
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Isn't Jet Li just adorable?
After several days of being home, I don't feel the need to express my anger at my sister's friend anymore. I just feel so relieved to be away from SC, and glad to be home. Am so very thankful I don't have to care about her anymore, and her incessant pelting me with insults. I don't feel angry with her anymore, or at least at the moment, but if I ever have to, all my anger has been recorded somewhere, so I'll just pull it out then.
I'm so thankful and grateful to be back here. I'm looking forward to celebrating Chew's birthday with her tomorrow, and I'm also looking forward to attending the Choir concert on the 19th with Samira and Freda. It feels so good to be back around people whom I'm familiar with, whom I feel safe around.
It also feels good to finally be taken seriously. Most of what I said on the Yunnan trip was taken to be nonsense, and more jokes and insults followed.
Actually, I'm thankful for SC and my sister's incessant pelting of insults. Each time they hurled one at me, it gave me a chance to think. It trained me to dig deeper into meanings of words they said, it taught me how to laugh them off, it taught me how to argue with or side myself. I've gone back into thinking-and-staring mode, which I lost about 2 years ago, and I'm happy to have it back.
Basically, this trip taught me to survive anything, physically, mentally, psychologically. It was like a boot camp, just with nicer living conditions, but with no shortage of teasing and insults and jokes made about you. Through all this, I still met nice people, learnt new things, and saw China like I had never seen before.
I never knew I could come to love a country that I hated so much.
However, there is something I feel the need to share with all you people who faithfully read my blog.
You do know I have a fascination with serial killers, right? There were people like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, Albert Fish, and of course our fictitious Hannibal Lecter, but you'll never realise their true evil until you see them commit a crime. Reading about it isn't enough, not even watching a movie portray their crimes. Only when you see the satisfaction on their faces as they kill, will you know their true depth of evil.
I, myself, never really knew what evil was until that day I was forced to watch the slaughtering of pigs. We were at Tiger Leaping Gorge, staying at some guest-house and waiting for breakfast, when I heard a scream pierce through the morning air. You'll never know how painful it sounds unless you hear it, live, for yourselves.
"I have just witnessed the killing of a pig. Its screams were deafening, and I saw them carry the bucket to the table before slitting its throat. When they slit its throat, the screams stopped, leaving only a weak, high-pitched squeal, then there was silence."
That was taken from my notebook, which I carried around with me on the trip. The evil I saw was not in the faces of the men who killed the pig. No. It was in the face of SC who held the camera, recording the whole thing in a video.
None of the men looked very happy, their faces were portraits of pain itself. What struck me most hardly and disturbed me most was that on SC's face, emotion was there, painted in a smile.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, December 12th 2008
Well, well, well. I'm back from Yunnan, and to be honest, China is actually a really cool place to be.
I think the van-driver (Wang Shi Fu) who took us to Tiger Leaping Gorge and then to Shangri La is so cute! He's real eye-candy, unlike those fake, plastic types. He's cute, but not perfect, his hands are rough from hard work and he has wrinkles on his face beside his eyes, but he's beautiful. The real type of man! Don't know how old he is, but probably 35-45 years old (with kids). People age fast physically there because of the very cold wind and the very strong sunlight. He has a "cute-tooth", which only makes him cuter, I find. He's tall, dark and handsome! Ha, ha, ha!
Very adorable.
I met someone new! He's 18 years old, very gorgeous, very sweet-natured. He's a straight-forward farmboy, honest, good-looking, good body. A loving and obedient boyfriend. Yes, he's my new boyfriend!
His name is Bei Bei and he's a mix breed between a horse and donkey, and he followed me around and nuzzled my tummy. He's very, very sweet. So handsome, I love him.
Doesn't the guy behind us look like he's checking out my butt?
So. The trip itself was all right. Lotsa problems with the people I went with, esp my sister's friend, who was unmercifully pelting me with insults all the way. What an asshole. Perhaps I'll type a little more about her in my next post or something, when I'm less tired.
Spent last night at Bangkok's airport, and while my sister slept, I put my jacket over her, went to the toilet and then went to a corner to sing arias. The place was so big, I could have hardly been heard. I didn't sleep at all, save for about a 20-min nap at Starbucks at 6am, so now I'm all light-headed and drifty. Don't really know what I'm doing, feels like I'm floating around. Need sleep.
Oh, yes, I almost forgot. I think Jet Li is cute. I'll post a pic of him in my next post. Gonna watch a DVD now, I think. A Jet Li movie :)
I think the van-driver (Wang Shi Fu) who took us to Tiger Leaping Gorge and then to Shangri La is so cute! He's real eye-candy, unlike those fake, plastic types. He's cute, but not perfect, his hands are rough from hard work and he has wrinkles on his face beside his eyes, but he's beautiful. The real type of man! Don't know how old he is, but probably 35-45 years old (with kids). People age fast physically there because of the very cold wind and the very strong sunlight. He has a "cute-tooth", which only makes him cuter, I find. He's tall, dark and handsome! Ha, ha, ha!
Very adorable.
I met someone new! He's 18 years old, very gorgeous, very sweet-natured. He's a straight-forward farmboy, honest, good-looking, good body. A loving and obedient boyfriend. Yes, he's my new boyfriend!
His name is Bei Bei and he's a mix breed between a horse and donkey, and he followed me around and nuzzled my tummy. He's very, very sweet. So handsome, I love him.
Doesn't the guy behind us look like he's checking out my butt?
So. The trip itself was all right. Lotsa problems with the people I went with, esp my sister's friend, who was unmercifully pelting me with insults all the way. What an asshole. Perhaps I'll type a little more about her in my next post or something, when I'm less tired.
Spent last night at Bangkok's airport, and while my sister slept, I put my jacket over her, went to the toilet and then went to a corner to sing arias. The place was so big, I could have hardly been heard. I didn't sleep at all, save for about a 20-min nap at Starbucks at 6am, so now I'm all light-headed and drifty. Don't really know what I'm doing, feels like I'm floating around. Need sleep.
Oh, yes, I almost forgot. I think Jet Li is cute. I'll post a pic of him in my next post. Gonna watch a DVD now, I think. A Jet Li movie :)
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Tuesday, December 2nd 2008
Of course, Daphne. We have good taste in everything!
(P.S.: They're selling SpongeBob keychains just outside AMK Hub.)
Bird's Nest Soup is so sickly sweet. It's strangely slimy, too, which forced me to think of it's origins- a bird's saliva. I must say, however, that I tried very hard to ignore that fact and to swallow a mouthful, but my own vomit came up, so I ran from the bowl sitting on the table.
We let the leeches go today, several had died and I didn't want any more to be taken by death just because they were trapped in a plastic container (yes, we actually shifted them to a larger, cleaner container), so we let them go. I hope they're happy. There's food, fresh water, long grass... I won't tell you where we let them go, but I think they're happy there. Maybe I'll wait another few years before I try keeping them as pets again, I obviously have to do more research first.
Rest In Peace, leeches.
Leaving for Yunnan tomorrow, wish me luck. Weather forecasts have forecasted that it'll be quite cold there, so my backpack is filled to its brim with mostly warm clothing. I painted my gloves today, one stripy, the other with smileys on each finger. Maybe I'll post a picture of them when I get back.
Above is a lovely picture of my cool grandparents. They're so cute. They were both good-looking when they were much younger. Ah Gong seems to be frowning here, the food was pretty bad.
(P.S.: They're selling SpongeBob keychains just outside AMK Hub.)
Bird's Nest Soup is so sickly sweet. It's strangely slimy, too, which forced me to think of it's origins- a bird's saliva. I must say, however, that I tried very hard to ignore that fact and to swallow a mouthful, but my own vomit came up, so I ran from the bowl sitting on the table.
We let the leeches go today, several had died and I didn't want any more to be taken by death just because they were trapped in a plastic container (yes, we actually shifted them to a larger, cleaner container), so we let them go. I hope they're happy. There's food, fresh water, long grass... I won't tell you where we let them go, but I think they're happy there. Maybe I'll wait another few years before I try keeping them as pets again, I obviously have to do more research first.
Rest In Peace, leeches.
Leaving for Yunnan tomorrow, wish me luck. Weather forecasts have forecasted that it'll be quite cold there, so my backpack is filled to its brim with mostly warm clothing. I painted my gloves today, one stripy, the other with smileys on each finger. Maybe I'll post a picture of them when I get back.
Above is a lovely picture of my cool grandparents. They're so cute. They were both good-looking when they were much younger. Ah Gong seems to be frowning here, the food was pretty bad.
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