Sunday, September 23rd 2007

I'm so bored, I don't even know what I'm doing. Waiting for some Jap anime episodes to load on Youtube.
I keep trying to sit myself down and study, but I can't. I'm so glad night study's starting again tomorrow, I shall attend every single day, whether I'm going alone or not. Francesca's going tomorrow, so I won't be alone. Daphne has tuition, so she can't go.
Night study's the only time I can actually study, and in the comfort of my school, too. My school's beautiful at night. They put night study on hold for quite awhile because of the stupid Promenade. I can see that putting up a good performance for our school is important, but surely there's no need to neglect the students' study needs?
They actually disallowed the kids to have tuition until after 8pm! Bloody H. So much for wanting the best for the students. Oh, wow. They put night study on hold because the bloody rehearsals for Promenade were too noisy.

Watched "Stranger than Fiction" again today. It's not a bad movie. The plot is quite fresh, not too cliche. How easy it would be to kill someone by writing a story about them.
I wish I could do that.

Wednesday, September 19th 2007

This is just to update.

-I was right when I typed about not doing well in my 'O' Eng prelim.
-For 'N' prelims, I failed SS, Math, Chinese, Accounts. No surprise for/about these four subjects. I left out a whole section for SS because I didn't manage my time. The other three are just.. like that. I'm tired of having to explain.
-Going rock-climbing with V. Chew tomorrow. Need some exercise, something healthy to do.
-I hate this bloody society.

Monday, September 17th 2007

I've got my hair cut again.
I realised, while sitting there flipping through hairstyle magazines, that I don't really care what style I cut, as long as it's not uneven and wispy. It just annoys me when people have a "tail" in their hair. I just don't get it, but I have no say in their hair. I picked a short hairstyle out of the book, telling my hairdresser about the adjustments I wanted her to make.
It didn't turn out remotely like the picture in the magazine, which is/was a relief, because I didn't like the front of the style in the magazine very much. I quite like my new hairstyle. It's neat enough, not too terrible-looking.

Discovered the wonders of coloured-pencils. They add colour and life to my drawings I've so painstakingly done. I've realised that talent isn't the most important thing in Art, only patience and willingness.
It's a nice subject, because we get to do all the close-to-heart stuff, relate to the topics given, spend time discovering new meanings, looking deeper, practice art skills,practice patience, and it's not too acadamic. It's nothing like Math. It's just how you feel your drawings or paintings, get absorbed. Also, for me, the end result is almost always satisfying, like all that effort I've put in has not been wasted.

Ms Jac Yip told Becca and I that we'll be getting back our 'O' Eng prelim papers tomorrow. Am not too worried about the first part of the paper, which is compo and letter-writing. The topic I picked for my compo was "Pests". Heh.
I remember writing about what that word means to me, what comes to my mind when I see/read that word. For example, pests can mean dirty rats or greedy locusts, but they can also mean annoying people. I wrote about pesticides, what are they for, and what would happen if human pesticide had been created/discovered. I ended the compo with "After all, intolerance is only human". I'll type it out when I get it back.
I'm worried about the compre part of the paper. It's always the part that I'm worried about. I just can't get it. Anyway, I can't remember what the passages were about. First sign that I'm going to do badly.

I'm thankful today didn't go badly. I escaped Mrs Khoo's clutches during Math, I didn't complete my homework. Mom didn't yell at me for having my hair cut (she used to do that every time I got it cut), Dad didn't say anything. My brother either couldn't be bothered to notice or just didn't, luckily. The less people grumble, the better. My sis isn't home yet, I don't know what she'd say, but I hope it's nothing negative.
I don't understand why people care about my hair so much. It's my hair, for goodness' sake! Never mind them, I shan't care what they think. If they're not happy with my hair, so be it.

Life's just too short to keep trying to live up to other people's expectations.

Gosh, I love my motto.

Sunday, September 16 2007

Student Leader's Investiture was quite fun. At least we could sing, and got to hold candles and all that. Did a little bit of booklet distributing and ushering. Met some nice people there. It made me shudder to think that I was sitting right there amongst the rows and rows of people, knowing that all around me, those kids were leaders. They all were elected one way or another, and they had leadership qualities. It made me scared, in a way. Felt intimidated, also inferior.
I was only there because my student conductor is a councillor, so I had to represent choir. It wasn't bad. It was a good experience.

I dare say that my parents really ruin every thing for me. Only just now I showed my mom a drawing I'd spent 2 days on, and she just said there was something wrong with it, and asked why was I drawing that anyway? ( I can bet she was about to say I was wasting time on drawing ) I told her it's for my Art exam, and she started an argument saying that Art was about what I can see, not what I cannot see. It was a drawing of the muscles in a human arm.
Couldn't be bothered arguing back, because I know Art is not only about what I can see. However much I argued back, she wouldn't accept it anyway. Too stubborn. So I just changed the subject, asking when she'd be ready?

I asked her last night if we could go into town today, I need a new set of Acrylic paint, a better one. My last one didn't stick on canvas very well, but not surprising, since I only paid about $15 for it. While I'm at Art Friend at Bugis today, I could also grab some other stuff like more canvas and drawing pens.
Yay.

September 8th 2007 [Post 2]

Second post today.
I woke early this morning because I wanted to visit the AMK polyclinic's pharmacy to inquire about seeing-sticks for blind people. I mentioned in one of the earlier posts that I'd like to invest in one if it's/they're not too expensive.
I went after breakfast, which was beehoon. It was crowded there, people in wheelchairs, sick people, healthy people. Children, adults, elderly. Some were sitting on those plastic orange chairs in rows, waiting for their call number to appear on the screen. Children were begging parents to buy them sweets, and I have to admit, there was quite a nice and wide selection there. Now I know where to buy healthy, good-tasting sweets!
I went to the home-care section where they sold wheelchairs, crutches
and so on. There was a short-haired woman seated at a desk there. I asked her if they sold seeing-sticks for blind people, and she said she didn't know, because she wasn't in charge of that section.
I found that made no sense, for she was sitting in it. She told me to ask the guy at the cashier, he was in charge of that section. So I went back to the cashier. It's like having to go through an obstacle course. Dodging running children, skirting around wheelchairs. Finally, I got there.
There were two people talking to the guy at the counter/cashier, so I waited. I just observed my surroundings while waiting, and then turned back to the people infront of me. They were Indian. One was a middle-aged man, and the other was a woman whom I estimated to be around 60 years old. I assumed they were mother and son. The son talked to his mother about different needles. The guy behind the counter took from the shelves several samples of the different sizes, later to be put in syringes.

At that very moment I realised how lucky I was to be alive and well. Sometimes life becomes too much for me and I wish I were dead, but I realised how lucky I was/am. All those people in the pharmacy, rushing around, waiting for medicine, buying medical instruments (like the woman and the needles), they all wanted to live. They saw living as a privilege. People queued for their medicine to stop the pain they felt, or because they were afraid to die.
I walked out of the pharmacy then, and went home without having inquired about the seeing-stick.

Saturday, September 8th 2007

Came back not long ago from dinner with Mom and Dad. We went to eat at the coffeeshop nearby our block. I had chicken rice.
While we were eating, I saw a plastic "reserved" sign that was placed on a table near ours. A thought suddenly struck me, so I asked Mom, " Has anybody ever had their wedding dinner at a coffeeshop? "
Her answer was an immediate "no", but I expected that. I asked her why, and she said that people would feel so embarrassed having their wedding dinner at a coffeeshop. She continued, " Wedding dinners are supposed to be in restaurants. "
I had a really strong urge to argue back. Not everyone can afford having their wedding dinner at a restaurant. Also, so what if it's a coffeeshop? The food can be just as good, shark's fin and abalone is not a necessity, contrary to what the Chinese believe. I can't actually believe I just said that. Two years ago, I hated everything but restaurants and fast-food. I refused to set foot in any coffeeshop or foodcourt. I loved shark's fin and abalone. Then as I grew older I discovered the cruelty behind obtaining shark's fin, and how expensive and wasteful abalone is/was. How many people the amount of money spent on those two types of food could have saved?
I didn't argue with her any further on the topic. What once innocent children have been turned into dreadfully stubborn adults by and in society.
I wonder why mankind drew the line between right and wrong so clearly when they didn't know which was which?

Tuesday, September 4th 2007

Where in Singapore does one buy a seeing-stick? You know, the foldable kind which helps people to "see" things in their paths. The hospital, perhaps? I wonder if it's expensive?
If it's cheap, I'd like to invest in one. Interesting way to "see".
Must start practising, so if one day I happen to go blind or if I ever decide to go blind, I wouldn't feel so helpless in getting around.

Saturday, September 1st 2007

I've just watched "The Chronicles of Narnia" again, but this time on DVD, and I'm surprised to find that it's still as good as the last time I watched it, which was 2 years ago. Mr. Tumnus is still as cute. I remember watching it twice in the cinemas.
The special effects and music are just as breath-taking as they were. I recall sitting in the cinema feeling amazed.

I feel this really strong urge to watch "The Willow Tree" again, though I know I shouldn't. So many people are living in poverty out there, and look at me! Here I am typing, watching words appear on my flat screen! I shall wait for the DVD instead, perhaps it'll be more worth it than spending $7 on a one-time ticket.
I hope I can steer myself away from the cinemas for now. It's one big distraction, and a waste of money.

Just came across an interesting question on Yahoo! Answers. "How do you describe colour to a blind person?"
Yes, how do you, if they haven't seen anything in their lives? You can't tell them something is 'red as a rose' or 'yellow as the sun'. I'm getting jealous of all the blind people in the world. I know they hate being blind and they want to see, but I really wonder what it's like being blind. It's a whole different world, to feel/touch, taste, hear, smell more than you see. The only bad thing about going blind is that you can't go back to not being blind.
Darn.
Maybe after my exams I'll do an experiment on myself for a few days, just to see what it's like to be blind. No, I won't start sticking things in my eyes, I'll just find ways to keep them closed, and even if I open them, I won't be able to see a thing.
I wonder what it's like to wake up to a bright sunny morning but see only darkness?