Sunday, May 31st 2009

My parents finally threw the disgusting kitchen cloth away! Actually, they threw it out the day after I showed them the kitchen cloth germs, but I forgot to type about it.

I'm starting YOGA! No, not taking any classes, just following library books. Teaching myself Yoga and Pilates, it would be good for me since I'm often slumped over my studies nowadays, doing endless Math exercises, trapped indoors with no fresh air whatsoever. Today, I did Yoga for the first time, and it was great! I can't even explain it, it's just that you feel stretches in parts of your body you never even knew existed. After doing Yoga, I felt really, really at ease and calm, and was so relaxed that I almost fell asleep.
I wish my room had open-able windows like my parents', it's not fair. My room's always so stuffy and I never get to see the open sky through those windows. Even the gaps are sealed with masking tape! "To keep the air con from leaking out," they say.
Bullshit.

Worked hard today, I realised that I can concentrate so much better at the library. At home, there's just too much snooping around and glaring going on for me to do any work. I shall go to the library more often, been falling a little behind in my Math schedule cos I couldn't concentrate on Thursday. Must clear it, if not, it'll pile up.

I've finally discovered how to use a crochet needle to maintain my dreadlocks! Well, I relied on Youtube videos and their comments, but I think I can do it! Dread ends are coming loose. Shall go look for a crochet needle sometime, gotta buy more shampoo, too. Bloody shampoo is so expensive, but gotta use it. Dreads really are high-maintenance, but I like being an 'individual'.

Am compiling a list of things I want for my birthday (Jul 5), but most of the things I want are either too expensive or very rare/out of use. Anyway, here's the list if you guys suddenly decide to give me something. I daringly request! Hinting is useless nowadays.

1) Scientific microscope (for bacteria-viewing) (at least $400-500)
2) Banjo (not easy to find!) ($300-500)
3) LEGO- medieval market set (large) ($200-300)
4) Typewriter (manual, long out of use) ($???)
5) Little Rascals complete set DVDs ($100-200)
6) Pair of 3-pound dumbells ($15-20)
7) Book vouchers (Kinokuniya/Borders)

Saturday, May 30th 2009

Charlie Chaplin is quickly becoming my favourite person of all time. He's just so cute and lovely, with the kind of spirit that makes you never want to grow up. Can you feel it? It's right there in his moustache.

Just finished watching "Modern Times", one of Charlie Chaplin's films. I guess it was "Modern" in 1936, but it was hilarious, laughed all the way through! His character is so quirky and talented. You should see him roller-skate blind-folded, I was holding my breath! He skates right to the edge of this really big hole in the floor, and justttt manages to stay on the floor, all the while blind-folded. Woah, he can do anything! Uncle Vernon was right, Charlie Chaplin is one talented guy.

Friday, May 29th 2009

Gah! I hate this.

Here I am, wanting to watch "Brokeback Mountain" on the computer, but I can't! I have to do it secretly because my family members poke their noses into places into other people's privacy a lot. My parents would immediately assume that it's porn or something.
I dunno what's the big deal anyway. I should be allowed to watch anything, it's not as if I haven't seen it all already??? Television reveals a lot nowadays, and I read books, you know. "Brokeback Mountain" is a homosexual story, but it doesn't reveal anything. It just shows men kissing, but my parents would die if they saw that. Don't really know what's their problem, I guess they're just part of "society".

I can't wait till my parents are out of the country again. I mean, do you want your parents to be watching TV with you when people are kissing or having sex on the screen? I can't stand it! It's so awkward. "Brokeback Mountain" doesn't revolve around sex, you know. In fact, it barely has any.
I think we need more gay-themed movies in the world, that's why am anticipating "I love you Phillip Morris". These movies don't revolve around sex, it doesn't even matter if they have any.

Thursday, May 28th 2009

I had the most amazing experience today!

I went for my weekly run, and today I went to Bishan Park to work out. Did push-ups, sit-ups, bench press-ups and monkey-bars. General jogging/running. On my way home, I started to really run. It was a long stretch of pavement, so I didn't have to stop. It was cool in the evening, but I was already really sweaty. I was feeling really weak by then, having done a lot of conditioning exercises, but when I started running, my legs didn't want to stop. They just kept carrying me forward, home. It was an experience, I tell you. Never knew the thrill of running. Now I know!

Couldn't concentrate on any work today. I managed to force myself through a few questions, but that was all, so I planned out my weekend instead. Tomorrow, I'm going for some sort of Choral Talk by some guy, then am gonna try to do Math. On Sat, I shall go to Daiso to buy wood and organising trays, and Esplanade library to borrow some Charlie Chaplin and old romantic comedies. On Sun, am gonna catch up and get an early start on Math for next week. I want to go to IKEA on Sat as well, but it's out of the way, and maybe there won't be time. Maybe V will go with me after her exams.

I finally showed Mom, Dad and Sis the germs I've been growing. Mom only freaked out at the tongue. Naturally, because the tongue one looks the grossest. It's the most... plentiful, put it that way. The toilet germs look very weak, little black specks all over, the nose germs are still the same, the dishcloth germs are brown in colour and growing rapidly. I hope Dad decides to throw the cloth away.

Wednesday, May 27th 2009

It felt so good to step out of the house for the first time in 3 days! I've been working hard, doing Math day and night. Just can't seem to get any Art done, though I've been getting sources to draw. SS and Geog aren't doing so well, I got angry doing SS at V's house the other day, so I only managed to do 1 and a 1/2 questions properly. SS is so stupid. Geog isn't as bad, nothing to be angry about, but I gotta take more time to look at my notes and stuff. It's been so much Math recently, I've lost touch with everything/everyone else.
Dad was going to yell at me about wanting to go to Kinokuniya today, but I stopped him, telling him that I deserve something for all the studying I've been doing. He can't deny that, because I do my Math outside where he can see, and my conscience is clear, am keeping well to my Math schedule. It's the other subjects I'm worried about.

Anyway, spent the evening at Kinokuniya. Browsed medical books, literature, sociology, cultural studies and true crime. Read a bit of Marquis de Sade's work. Disturbing, yet fascinating. Also X-rated to the extreme. I hope nobody saw me reading that book.
At the medical section, I looked through the anatomy books. I can't remember which one I intended to buy last year, one with really good paintings. Oh, well. I hope that by this time next year, I'll own one of those really detailed medical books and be studying medicine.
I actually went to Kinokuniya with a goal, I was looking for a book called "I love you Phillip Morris". V showed me the trailer of the show, and I can't stop thinking about it. The whole story is incredible. I did a bit of research on the movie and found that it's actually based on a book, true story, so I went to Kinokuniya to look for it. I was lucky, I got the last copy. They found it in the true crime section. Bloody expensive, too. I would never have bought it if I hadn't the $20 gift voucher. Even with that, I had to pay about $30 for it. Hardcovers sure are pricey nowadays.

I was happy with my book, and proceeded to "Art Friend" to check out the wood. I guess I forgot to mention that I've taken up a new hobby- woodcrafting! I discovered it when I went shopping with V at Daiso the other day, and bought a few packs of wooden bricks and sticks. I figured that it might be worth a try, since I've been playing with LEGO a lot recently. I was right, it is fun, but there never seems to be enough wood. Gotta buy more bricks some time to complete my clock tower. So far, I've built a house, a bridge, a windmill, a barrel of rum, and part of a clock tower.
After "Art Friend", I went to the basement of Takashimaya, and saw that the children's toys and apparel fair is up! I went in and walked around, hoping to find some LEGO on sale. I eventually did, but it was as expensive as hell. The guy who's face is on the box looks really happy, though. I guess he must be the manager of LEGO or something, and he's shown playing with a truck.
LEGO, of course.
Then, I saw how much the box of LEGO costs. Over $300!!! Bloody hell, man! Even after discount, it costs about $200! I got my small tub of LEGO for about $20+ at a major toy sale, I recall. It's not much, but it's enough to build a small house with. $300??? There are kids out there who can barely afford to play with twigs! This is what Social Studies does to the world. It creates problems and then forces us to study them.

Some girl stopped me at Orchard, asking me if I were local. I guess it must be my hair that did it. She introduced herself as -(some japanese name spoken really quickly)-, and said she was from some model agency, etc etc. I wasn't really listening. Plus, her accent was so thick that I didn't really get what she was saying. All I know is that she gave me some name-card, took down my mobile no. and name, and said they'll call me.

Feel free to call, baby, I'm hardly with my cell.

Saturday, May 23rd 2009

Just read about some issue between Clay and Adam Lambert. The article was off Yahoo.com. I'm pretty sure I'm still rooting for Clay, and what ever Adam chooses to do, I can't really be bothered. Couldn't care less!
I do agree that after the first few seasons of "American Idol", the talent and judging have gone down the drain, but it's up to society. I've got better things to worry about. There are other gay people besides those two, why kick up such a fuss?

There's something twisted about Hollywood. Every person who goes in there and gets famous ends up crazy. You guys have seen enough tabloid articles and gossip magazines to know. All that glitz and fame is somewhat attractive, but hey, there's a price to pay for everything you do, every decision.
Everybody has the right to make their own decisions, to live their own life, but I think the press is getting bored and desperate.

Friday, May 22nd 2009

Charlie Chaplin was a great man. Been watching his videos on Youtube, and they're hilarious! I keep laughing in front of the computer.
I wish the world still had great people like that.

Over to V's place to study tomorrow, we're going to the study room. Gonna see if I can get ahead of my schedule in Math again, and do some SS and Geog.
I can't even express, in words, how much I hate the chapter on Indices!

My germs have been growing fine. The nose container has 3 types of germs now. These germs are quite neat. One is a black speck with a white dot in the middle, the other one is scattered white specks, and the last is a misty layer. The mouth container still has the same types of germs as yesterday or so, but the black germs are splitting much faster. They're spreading and climbing up the walls of the container! Gahh!

Thursday, May 21st 2009

I've made interesting scientific progress! Personally, of course. People have discovered so much more than what I have, so this comes as no surprise to brilliant biologists.
I've been growing germs. The last time I tried this, my gelatine-sugar solution didn't harden, but a certain stringy type of bacterium landed on it and multiplied, so I got a liquidy solution full of black stringy webs. Never mind. I didn't dare open it for fear that I might die, so I left it there until, hopefully, the sugar and air ran out of the petri-dish and they died. Mom threw the whole thing away.
This time, however, I grew germs that live on the tongue and in the nose. In 2 seperate containers, I poured the gelatine-sugar solution that I made, this time with more gelatine and more sugar. The problem was that it didn't have the correct gelatine:water ratio, so my solution didn't harden into agar jelly. This time, it worked pretty swell. I used a tongue-scraper to scrape the upper side of my tongue, and used a cotton-bud to transfer the yucky stuff onto the agar jelly of one container. Then, I sealed it and labelled it "mouth".

Then, I did the nose. Used a cotton-bud to get some moisture from my nose. As you know, the nasal passage is lined with a mucous membrane, and the inside of the nose is practically crawling with germs, so I just swiped the used cotton-bud onto the agar jelly of the second container. This time, I labelled it "nose", and sealed it.

I got a bit worried at first because the tongue obviously had a lot of substance for germ-growth. The nose, however, was just colourless moisture, so I wasn't sure it would grow.
5 days later, here they are! The tongue container has 4 different types of bacteria in it, and they range in colours yellow, light brown, brown and black. Fascinating to see what grows on your tongue.
The nose container wasn't as successful. It had growth, all right, but the agar jelly collasped and turned into a half-liquid state, but there are 2 different types of germs living in it. One is simply a black patch slowly expanding, the other is a white-yellow misty layer near the top of the agar jelly.

It's so cool! Today, I cooked up some more agar jelly in 2 more containers, and I plan to take bacteria from the disgusting kitchen cloth (used for everything) and barely washed. Occasionally, my parents give it a quick rinse (water only) under the tap, but there are all the visible food bits and unknown substances stuck in the cloth fibres, and the moisture just encourages bacterial growth. I've seen flies land on that thing! I never, ever touch it.

I'm not sure what I should put in the other container of agar jelly. Bacteria from my Dad's 10-20 years old dentures (still in use, never brushed or soaked in denture solution), or the toilet bowl water? I don't know which is more disgusting, but I'm afraid that the germs from my Dad's dentures might turn out to be the same type that were lurking on my tongue. I'm sure there are more dangerous types lurking in-between his dentures, though, but I wanna know whats lurking in the toilet!
Did you know that every time you flush the toilet, you get coated in germs and other particles from the toilet bowl? That's why I always run out the moment I flush it. Can you imagine people who don't scrub their hands with soap after using the loo? Or worse, holding your boyfriend's hand after he used the toilet and didn't wash with soap!

Gasp!

Tuesday, May 19th 2009

Called the ASD today, and they said that all their dogs aren't HDB-approved, so I guess we'll have to continue our search for the perfect dog, then.

Just finished watching "Big Fish" online, it was lovely. It's one of those movies where it's impossible not to cry while watching, like "Click", and so cried like hell. Was sobbing in front of the computer, hoping my parents wouldn't see me.

Did my Math as usual, and then played 2 rounds of "Lego". I built a prison this time, but the only two Lego people I have are men, and strangely, one bigger than the other. So I have a big man and little man. The little man has a mustache and fix-on hair.
I wish I had a medieval-Lego set. I've always been interested in the middle ages, the life and epidemics and stuff. People were punished for the smallest things, like stealing a goat or something.

Today, I did research on medieval punishments and the implements of torture. They were really harsh, people were burned alive for being suspected of committing a crime, and they thought that if your body, tied up, floated in water, you were guilty of a crime. If you were to sink, you weren't guilty, but then where's the logic? If nobody saved you, you'd die anyway.
We've come a long way in corporal punishment. Our worst punishments now are death sentences, quick and painless. I don't know whether to be thankful or embarrassed?

Monday, May 18th 2009

"Angels and Demons" wasn't entirely terrible, there was a lot of suspense and scary-sounding choir music, and the acting was quite bad. The only thing I really liked about it was the twist near the end when they found out that the priest branded himself. The acting was good when he "branded" himself, I could feel the pain. I think Ewan McGregor's acting was much better in "The Island" and "Moulin Rouge".

Sis and I are finally taking the steps to adopt a dog. We took about 1/2 a year to make the decision. Mom's currently grumpy, so she just complained about how I don't have time, etc. Bullshit, Dad's forcing Math down my throat even though I'm ahead of my Math schedule and can't even watch TV without being spied on, and Bro is so selfish, he can't take 5 mins out of his free time to help me fix my Sims 2, so I'm reduced to playing "LEGO".
Thank God for "LEGO". All my frustration goes into that.

I feel like I'm suffocating. Dad's expecting a 17 year old kid to follow in his footsteps- sitting home all day doing nothing. Dad's not even happy when I want to go to another library besides the AMK library. I need companionship, man. I used to tell Rabbit everything, and he would snuggle up with me and listen. Now he's gone and I have to repeat a year and Dad's suffocating me and I have to vent on "LEGO", I really want someone to listen again. I'd gladly spend time with the dog, walk it, play with it, feed and clean up after it. It would be such a relief, you wouldn't believe how frustrating it is to be trapped at home and not be allowed to do anything. My parents aren't being at all supportive about my situation.
I can't stand it. Dad has never even studied as hard as I have, he said so himself. He went fishing instead.

Spent Sunday studying at Esplanade library with V. We were hardworking, I did more Math than I planned to, and V worked on her project on some kidney disease. Borrowed 2 DVDs and more music. This time, it's celtic harp music and spanish guitar music.
Mozart's violin sonatas are starting to sound the same as one another, so I think I'll give it a break for now. I want more symphonies, but it seems like I already have most of them (only the ones in the library). I'll take another look next week.

Friday, May 15th 2009 (post 2)

Finally got to finish watching "Edward Scissorhands", and it's lovely. It's so innocent, even the storyline was innocent. Nice to know that Edward fell in love and all that, but it's not your average teenage love story. More surreal.
I like his hair, it looks like mine.

Don't know why people are so upset about Malaysia's one case of swine flu. It's an epidemic that kills, but it's just helping our bodies to adjust for the future. Think of all the past epidemics we've had and how we've gotten past them.
Also, I don't really care about the swine flu. It's just not worth my time. Should I die of swine flu, so be it. It's a cruel world. People are too selfish and greedy now to deserve anything good.

Meeting V tomorrow for a movie, we're gonna watch "Angels and Demons", something I've been wanting to watch since "Constantine". Never knew the storyline of "Angels and Demons", so maybe it would be a good experience. It's said to be offensive to the Catholic church, but everybody seems to be unhappy about something all the time. I think they're just too picky and critical, and their lives are too boring so they have to stir up some fuss to fill in the blanks.

Library early on Sunday to study and look for music and videos. Sunday is a bonus, I'm "not supposed" to study on weekends, I deserve the break, but anything would be better than staying home with one insensitive parent and the other high-pitched. I can't take any more of Dad pretending to walk past me when he's actually glaring at me and my Math. Don't know what's his problem, but it would take too much effort to find out, so I'll just avoid it. My parents are some of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet.
Don't know why they can't just be grateful that their kid isn't just going to give up completely and not study. They don't realise that it's my decision, they can't force me to study even if they threatened to kill me. This is when being stubborn really comes in handy for me. When I want something very much, I'll definitely work for it. It would, however, be much easier without all this negativity around the house. A lovely, supportive pair of parents would be nice for a change.

1 day.

Friday, May 15th 2009

WELL, WELL, WELL. Guess what!

Someone just stole our bike! LOL. I told Mom and Dad not to put it outside in the first place, but they insisted, saying there was "no space" for it in the house since they wanted new shoe racks. Tuh! Anyway, I was cruel enough to say "I told you so!"
Our door camera got it all on tape, only the quality is horrible and it captured nothing but blurred images of two Indian men cutting open the lock and stealing the bike. My parents are watching it over and over like it's the most exciting movie ever. I guess it's true that in their lives, exciting things rarely happen, so it's natural for them to make a big deal out of it.
I don't feel bad about our bike. It was really heavy and it was "gold", which is a horrible colour to pick. What were they thinking?! I didn't like to bring it around since it was heavy, and was embarrassed to be seen with the hideous "gold" colour, so I never used it much, and everyone else was too busy to use it. It was a shared bike.
If the guys who stole it are gonna use it more often and put it indoors and all that, I think the bike will have a better life with them.

Mom was all paranoid saying things like "Wah! These men are so dangerous, armed with a big lock-cutter you know! These are the "kind" who break into houses one!" and wants to report it to the police.
First of all, the police have better things to do, like to watch TV. The last time we visited the police post to report some guy, the police at the desk were fiddling with something, obviously bored to death. They took our evidence and said they would "be in touch". Secondly, anybody can buy a lock-cutter from any tool-shop. It doesn't even have to be a proper lock-cutter, even a pair of gardening shears would do.
As for the "kind", I think she just doesn't like people with coloured skin.

Wednesday, May 13th 2009

Stupid Youtube. I need help on my Vaccai Lesson IV and wanted to hear it on Youtube, but they had everything but Lesson IV! Am having problems with bars 4-6. Have played it countless times on the piano but still not sure if I can do it. Every time I try it without the piano, the tune goes all funny. I can't wait to graduate to the next lesson.

I read that about 3000 people die from malaria in Africa every day, and approximately, every 30 seconds, someone gets bitten by an infected mosquito. So, in a week, 21ooo people die of malaria in Africa alone.
Woooah! Here we are making a big fuss over Mas Selamat being captured, or some woman who died overseas.
Says a lot about our society, doesn't it?

Poor Africa. Due to the cripplingly large population that does not have enough food to eat or clean water to use, Africa is a target for all sorts of infectious and excruciating diseases like Ebola.
Ebola is actually quite fascinating, but the people infected really suffer. Basically, you start bleeding externally from many parts of your body, your blood vessels get cut so you get red-purple spots all over under your skin. You also get organ damage and they eventually turn into mush. There's diarrhea, vomiting of blood and nausea.

Singapore is wayyy too sheltered.

Tuesday, May 12th 2009

Could you die?!

I've been listening to my new Philippe Jaroussky CD on repeat, and haven't stopped except for the occasional breaks I take from my Math. Haven't gotten bored of it yet, nowhere near. It's like liquid chocolate, thick and heavenly, and even though you know you'll get sick from too much chocolate, you want to drown in it.

My favourite is still "A Chloris". Once I find a way to put the song on my blog, I'll put it up. I really want to know how he hits high notes so accurately and cleanly after a really big jump. Then again, he's been taking voice lessons since he was 18, and he's 30-31 now, so I have many years to perfect my singing and foreign languages!

Monday, May 11th 2009

The French are so passionate, I'm drowning in their love songs.
You wouldn't believe how excited I was to collect my CD today, I was hyperventilating. The nice man at the counter recognised me and complimented me on my hair.

After that, I went to Esplanade to do Math and borrow stuff. Borrowed Mozart and Latin American guitar music, as well as the videos of the "Little Rascals" and "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat". It truly was a rewarding day, another rewarding experience. I worked so hard for that CD, and I've truly earned it. Feels really good.
I've only had time to listen up to track 20 on "Opium", but it's lovely music. The name befits the music, it's very dreamy and light-headed, and the love songs are beautiful. I like the lyrics in "A Chloris" the most.

"S'il est vrai, Chloris, que tu m'aimes,
Mais j'entends, que tu m'aimes bien,
Je ne crois point que les rois memes
Aient un bonheur pareil au mien.
Que la mort serait importune
A venir changer ma fortune
Pour la felicite de cieux!
Tout ce qu'on dit de l'ambroisie
Ne touche point ma fantaisie
Au prix des graces de tes yeux."

"If it is true, Chloris, that you love me
(And I understand that you really do love me),
I do not believe that even kings
Could know such happiness as I do.
What a nuisance it would be
If death intervened to exchange my good fortune
With the joys of heaven!
All that they say about ambrosia
Does not fire my imagination
So much as the favour of your eyes."

Sunday, May 10th 2009

Going to HMV to collect my CD tomorrow, I can't wait! I'll probably lose sleep tonight, but it doesn't matter. After that, I shall go over to library @ Esplanade to do Math and borrow videos and music. It'll be nice to get away from the house and its confinement.

T'was a very "Disney" day, watched two DVDs by Disney today. I was brought back to my childhood when I watched "My Boyfriend's Back" again. I first watched it when I was 4, but I didn't know the title, so I spent 11-12 years looking for the movie. Someone on Yahoo! Answers finally told me, and my sis ordered it from Amazon.com for my birthday. I remember singing the song "Hanging on for dear life" in the shower when I was 4. Lovely show, really. I love the song, too. It gives me strength.

The next one I saw was "Beauty and the Beast". Classic, but I never got to watch the movie until 2 years ago or so. Deprived childhood, I know, but it's okay, I think I turned out all right. T'was a long and very bumpy road, and once I pass Math and get into the course I want, I can finally say "I've made it".

Mother's Day today, so family and I went out to dinner at Westlake. Food wasn't fantastic, wonder why people like it? Spent half the day painting a shirt. This time, I painted the words "Never Say Die" on the front, and the picture of a battery on the back.
It would be a nice reminder myself that I shouldn't give up every time I look in the mirror (many times in a day!). It's pretty tough not to give up after 5 hours of Math a day, I tell you, so I think the shirt would help me get through Hell another time.
I'm halfway through already.
I've convinced myself that a kid who studied in the Normal (Acad) stream in secondary school and failed Math at 'O' levels (since Pri 2!) can get into one of the top courses in Polytechnics, and I'm doing my part in studying hard and keeping to my planned schedule.
Every time I work so hard and start to think that it won't pay off, something good miraculously happens to me, and it keeps me going. The last few times have been the arrival of CDs that I wanted, who knows what it may be next?

6 days.

Saturday, May 9th 2009 (post 2)

WOO HOO!

The nice man at HMV just called my house to tell me that my order is in! More than 2 weeks ago, I went to HMV to ask about PJ's new CD, "Opium". The French one. It wasn't in yet, but the nice man helped me place an order, and I thanked him again over the phone. Shall go to collect it over the next few days, I'm so excited! I must've done something right again, or maybe it's just the studying hard.
The last time my order came in was when I managed to resist hitting my idiotic supervisor.

It hasn't been a bad day, went out with V to Esplanade to study today. We knew the libraries were gonna be closed, but we didn't wanna stay home, so we decided to sit somewhere at Esplanade to study. I did Math, as usual. This week has been Hell, because I had to finish the chapter on Arithmetic, and I did! I'm proud of myself, and Math doesn't seem so tough anymore. It's do-able now, but I slogged away at Math for an average of 5 hours per day this week. Maybe that's why I got the CD! :D

Good, good Xiulin!

Saturday, May 9th 2009

"It Happened One Night" is one of my fav romantic comedies. I love the part when everybody starts dancing around in the bus, singing "The Man on the Flying Trapeze". I picked the picture above because it's hilarious, from a scene when they were trying to hitch-hike.

I realised that my idols have gone from young and vibrant to old and dead! I guess the people I idolise are still lovely in their own ways and qualities, but I feel that the dead ones are the greatest.
There was Clay Aiken, then came Audrey Hepburn and Elvis Presley, then Bob Marley, Clark Gable and Bruce Lee. The last 5 people are dead, but they were some of the greatest people ever. Oh, yes, and not to forget Franco, who is probably still alive!

Friday, May 8th 2009

Woah, I'm SO frustrated right now!

I just spent the last hour trying to get the song on my blog to auto-play. I pain-stakingly copied and pasted the auto-play code in the embed code many times. Alas, it didn't pay off. It won't budge, so I guess you guys will have to click on the "play" button till I find a way to make it auto-play. PLAY IT!
Uploaded another song. This one's by Bob Marley, "Redemption Song".

Finally talked to Sabby again, we didn't get to say goodbye. She's happy and doing well in China now, and still in a choir. I really miss her bimbotic-ness and the whole "Sabulous" concept, whenever the seniors gathered to sing, we always felt there was something missing. Sabby has a certain confidence and spirit about her that people like, and I hope to see her in Italy again!

Been opening up to people recently and finally talking to them. I kept my mouth tightly shut since 31st Jan 09 when the posting results came out, but I feel better about myself now. Never had guilty feelings about my results, so it's not bad, my conscience doesn't eat away at me because I got average results and failed Math.
I'm glad to know that a lot of people are headed for bright futures, though I never thought they'd end up where they are now. Some are doing business, music, art, sciences, and some are like me, just trying again, harder. It's great to hear that nobody is just going to give up and live their lives stuck in a dead-end job (never in Hell!). Our parents may not be very tactful, but being stubborn can be good sometimes.

I realised that a lot of people thought I was gonna end up in NAFA or Laselle doing music.
Mark my words- I'm going to end up where you least expect it!

Wednesday, May 6th 2009

Joe Dirt.

Well, I went through 5 and a half hours of Math today. I had a splitting headache by the time I was through, and I was stoning involuntarily. The numbers almost blinded me.
My dad told me he saw my Math, and exclaimed about how easy it seemed, and then he scolded me because the textbook Math seemed easy to him. What the hell? This came from the guy who asked me how to spell "choice". I told him I don't know why it seems so easy.

Finished my drawing of the rabbit's skull after another several hours of toiling away, did the shading and all that. It looks nicer than the source! At least the hard work paid off. I hope the hard work for Math pays off.
It had better pay off.

Meanwhile, I've been watching episodes of "Merlin" on Hallmark, and though the music is cheesy, the show itself is pretty good. It has an attractive cast, and dare I say, lead actor. I like how Colin Morgan looks like a little boy in the role of Merlin. He's barely 23! I think he's cute, in a skinny puppy kind of way. Nice eyes.
"Merlin" is my weekly motivation to study. It's the reward I give myself when I finish my Math on time (2 exercises per day). An exercise sounds easy to do, wait till you try to dissect the bloody textbook. EVERY question has to be done, every answer has to be correct, and I have to do it again and again till I arrive at the correct answer. I bet the person who came up with Mathematics must've been cursed countless times.
The nice thing is that nobody is forcing me to do this. It's the revelation of something new: self-discipline! I guess I learned/gained a lot of that in choir under Mrs Low, and whaddayouknow, I'm applying it! My home-study schedule is a lot like going to school, only that it starts later. I reward myself with watching "The Nanny" or "Friends" or "The Simpsons", and the occasional "Merlin" on TV.

Of course, the biggest things that are driving me are the aim of getting into Med School, and Joe Dirt's optimism.
"Things are gonna happen for me, all's I gotta do is keep being a good person, no matter what, good things will come my way."

Tuesday, May 5th 2009

Spent more than 5 hours doing Math today. The first 4 hours were straight, then I took a break because my brain froze, then did the rest between shower and dinner so my hair would have sufficient time to dry off. I usually give it about 3 hours cos they're dreaded.
Stupid textbook exercises on Arithmetic, took me more than 5 hours to complete 2 exercises! I almost died!

Just finished sketching the outline of a rabbit skull, will put in details tomorrow. It was a little bit frustrating when I couldn't get the length of teeth right, but my frustration perfected it.
I've noticed that I suck at drawing anything besides inner anatomy. I can draw a heart, a foot, a hand, a muscle, a jaw. Even my brain drawing looked like a brain though it was missing a big chunk! I can draw anatomy as long as it's in the body, beneath the skin.
My architecture drawings aren't too bad, they look presentable though they're often miscalculated. I usually can't draw people, faces or animals, though I pulled off drawing a zebra with soft pastels.
Miscalculated, but pulled it off.
Ms Ho used to say I "like to make my life difficult", because somehow my Art brainstorming would lead to drawing ridiculously difficult things with a lot of detail. I can't help it if anatomy was created complicated!! I don't think she was joking when she said I "like to make my life difficult", but she helped me with my drawing details anyway.

Watched "Hannibal Rising" on DVD this morning, paid special attention to the art Hannibal pins on his bedroom walls. Damn, I wish I could draw like that! However, searched online on google and flickr for photos of human dissection, but didn't find any good enough to draw. Hannibal's were very, very detailed drawings, and the artist who sponsored the drawings for the movie either had a specimen in front of him, or has a very vivid imagination.
I love the one he did on the dissected human cheek.

Monday, May 4th 2009

I can't believe I actually looked forward to researching on Sigmund Freud! Does that name sound familiar to you?

He was an Austrian genius who majored in 5 medical fields, Philosophy and Literature, but most known for psychoanalysis. Researching on him was so boring, because all they talked about were his theories, and then they put a picture of him posing with a cigar.
He's one smart guy, but too boring.
Now that I've read up on him, I know that there's really such a thing as studying too much.

By the way, I actually forced myself to finish the extra Math before I did research on him. I can't believe it! Oh, well, all in good time, I guess. My reward today is that Dad bought some Bostik white-tack so I could finally attach my Elvis poster to the ceiling of my bed.
Always nice to be reminded that the world's biggest superstars came from humble beginnings.

Did research on quotes this morning, those by Elvis P and Bob M. Elvis didn't really say much, I prefer reading books about his life. Bob, however, said a lot. I'll type out a few I found quite nice.

"Money can't buy life"

"When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open"

"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds"

Hey, it doesn't take a genius to understand life.

Sunday, May 3rd 2009

Today is "tribute to Bob Marley" day! I just feel like doing a post about him, came across his lovely grin on google.com last night. He had very chiselled, good looks.

One day, I'm going to have hair like that, but it's going to take a while. When it gets longer, I shall have it tightened, then I shall make it flop forward like his!

Dreadlocks are the most difficult hairstyle to upkeep, I tell you. From experience, dreads are super high-maintenance. Before I got them re-done at Khao San, I had dreads for 2-3 months until I took them out 2 weeks before I went to Thailand.
V helped me start them with back-combing, twisting, palm-rolling and lotsa dread wax. The wax made a lot of lint stick to my dreads. If you've ever had dreads, you would know what I mean when I say it's almost impossible to pick foreign particles out of your dreads. Think about trying to retract a tiny piece of cloth lint out of a big, tightly tangled bunch of woolly string.

Getting them out was even worse. You know how human beings shed a lot of hair every day? Plus, the fact that I put wax into my hair and it got "absorbed" into the dreads? You get the picture.

Well, they're re-done nicely now, and I haven't put any wax or products in it yet, and I don't plan to. Dreads feel more lint-free without wax to stick to, can't wait for them to lock up again.
I wonder how Bob Marley managed his? He's blessed with strong Jamaican hair.

Saturday, May 2nd 2009

Itching to blog.

Went for dinner with parents and brother just now, had fish steam boat at AMK ave 3. On the way there, we passed a lone man. It was getting dark, and the man settled down on the pavement at the carpark, and sat down on the concrete to have dinner. I thought about how my family and I were on our way to a meal that wasn't that cheap.

I spent today out with Vanessa. Took a shower in the morning, washed my hair, did some Math and then got ready to meet V. It was funny, she got on the wrong 851, so we were in different buses, one in front of the other. We went to Bras Basah (sp?) to look for used textbooks for V, but couldn't find any. I ended up buying a "used" SS TYS for $1.80, unused. The previous owner must've either disliked SS to the core, or was a super-neat freak who didn't write anything on his/her books.
After, we wanted to go to the National Library, but the entrance was guarded by people who said we had to go through the inspection (because of swine flu outbreak), so we didn't bother. It looked like a long queue, so V and I sat on the steps and went through some Math questions I didn't understand.
Just realised that the way a kid who got A2 for Math does workings very differently from a kid who got E8, but I'll try to learn her way. As long as it's not totally complicated, I'm willing. Math doesn't seem as bad as it did when I first started revision at the beginning of Feb.

Once we finished the Math, we went to Bugis Street go pick up a couple of shirts for V, and I bought one for myself, too. It has a cute little sun on the front pocket, it's hilarious with my wild hair.
We decided last minute that we were going to watch a movie, so we picked "X-men", the one with Wolverine.
Mmmmm.
It was bloody cold in the cinema, even the chairs were freezing, but luckily we had our new shirts to cover ourselves with, so we survived. Movie wasn't too bad, there was a lot of skin and chest-baring. Isn't that great?

Everything that happened got me thinking at dinner. Would I be able to give up my mobile phone? It's a choice, nobody can make me give it up, it's the letting go I've always had a problem with. A mobile phone makes it more convenient for contact, but do I really want to stay in contact with other people?
Everytime I call/get a call from my parents, there's never a greeting from them, it's always more of a stern order without any manners.

Being uncontactable kind-of appeals to me, somehow. I don't ever need to hear from people, it's just want sometimes, but I can live without that want. I miss the old days when people had to write to one another and wait patiently for a reply.
Think "Love in the Time of Cholera".
Everytime I accidentally miss my parents' incessant phone calls, they threaten to take away my mobile phone, saying things like "If you don't pick up your calls, what's the use of having a hand-phone?"
However, they say that and threaten me knowing that I wouldn't give it up. What would happen if I willingly agreed to? Would they regret they ever threatened to take it away, knowing that it would be difficult to contact me?
I'll find out the next time they threaten to take it away.

I suddenly yearn for a lost identity. There's nothing much to keep me from losing this one. Sure, I've achieved some things in life, but there's also too much pain, different from the kind endured and felt by people who are starving or injured.
Strange thing, pain is. No matter how much food I eat or how much I injure myself, this pain can't be eased. Just so you know, I don't stuff myself with food or cut myself, it won't do very much.

I think Elvis felt this way once, it was his fame that killed him. His fans showered him with love and attention that slowly drove him into depression. He stood at the window, watching, while his friends went swimming at night.