Tuesday, June 30th 2009

Hey guys, I need your help in making a decision.

I have decided to buy a plant, though not another Venus Flytrap (expensive!). I was thinking of a pitcher plant, another carnivorous plant, a cactus or a herb.
A cactus would be difficult to handle (I carry it to my room daily to listen to music), but if I do get a cactus, I would expand its family. A pitcher plant needs to be hung up, and I don't have the space for that.
If I get a herb, should I get Rosemary or Mint? They both smell really nice.

So, question is: Cactus or Herb?
If Herb, what kind?

Monday, June 29th 2009

Damn these unnecessary subtitles!
That's from the film I'm watching, called "Maurice". I haven't finished watching it, currently at part 2 online. It's difficult to watch these movies at home when everyone's pacing around. I talked about "Brokeback Mountain" before, same situation. These boys don't even DO anything in the movie. (Well, I can't say for sure, gotta finish the movie first.)

Had tuition this morning, but totally forgot about it so I extended my alarm till later, and almost overslept. I didn't even get to eat anything before tuition started, so I was functioning on a glass of water until 1.30pm, doing Math. It was tough to focus, there were times when the teacher's voice became a distant droning in my ears.
I spent my day reading a bit of 4 different books and drawing out a photo of Charlie Chaplin, which, I'm glad to say, is turning out rather good.

School has started again for everyone else, but I don't feel so left out anymore. There's no shortage of work and studying for me to do, and the days are passing painfully slowly. I find the most comfort in talking to inanimate objects or ants from the water-pot nowadays. I want a plant or a nice animal to talk to, human beings are too difficult to converse with.

Sunday, June 28th 2009

I feel like I have green thumbs, I suddenly have the great urge to grow and care for more plants. My Venus Flytrap committed suicide the other day. I was sunning it on the window ledge when a sudden gale blew it over the edge. We're 8 stories up! Strange thing is, I couldn't find it anywhere below, so I don't feel too guilty. Nothing is worse than having to see the corpse of your dead pet. Fortunately, I didn't see the plant or the pot anywhere.
I shall grow cacti next, and expand my cacti family so that there will be a few species in a single pot. They won't be lonely then, and they'll listen to music every day and get lots of light. I need new friends to talk to, I suddenly feel so lonely with my Venus Flytrap gone.

Went to the library today, did Geog, SOVA, and some Art. I sketched a photograph of Charlie Chaplin, and will fill in the details later. Painfully frustrating, trying to get everything in the right proportion and shade, all done without a light-box or any tracing. All done with good artist's judgement and courage, and I think my skills are a little rusty. Haven't been doing very much drawing, just the occasional rough sketching and colouring, so need to get going again. My skills have to be perfected by the time my Art paper is due.

Lazed around the house for the rest of the day, before and after I went to the library. Watched "My Boyfriend's Back" this morning, "Ratatouille" in the evening, some "Simpsons", and now am currently watching a film online called "Maurice". It's about two boys who fall in love at Cambridge University.
I never knew how cute Hugh Grant was when he was younger (much, much younger). Tender love stories, mmmm.

Saturday, June 27th 2009

Went to watch "Transformers 2" tonight, it was awesome! It was so action-packed, metal flying everywhere, and there was good humour. I love how that guy said "I don't like that guy, he is an ASS- HOLE". I was in the cinema," HAHAHAA" and there was total silence around me. There was so much adrenaline involved, it was exhilarating!
Sab had free tickets, so Hui Min, Sab, her bestie, a whole bunch of their relatives and I went to watch it at Cineleisure. Awesome! Everyone was making a big fuss about Megan Fox online and now I know why. She is hot! I was probably looking at her more than I was looking at the main character. Megan Fox is a little too skinny for my taste, but still hot. Bumblebee is cute, too.

The hottest girl I've seen is Traci Lind in "My Boyfriend's Back", my beloved childhood movie. That's the film I waited 11/12 years for, and I still love it so much. It's very heart-warming and full of nonsense. I'm posting part 1 of "My Boyfriend's Back" at the bottom of my blog, so scroll all the way down if you want to see it. Watch the entire thing on Youtube if you have the time, Andrew Lowery is cute. Paired up with Traci Lind, it's like the storyline doesn't even matter.

Am doing research on pot bellies on wikipedia, it's not as fascinating as researching on dangerous diseases, but still worth my time. It is caused by abnormal obesity, fat concentrated around the abdomen of males. Females tend to get fat around the buttocks, thighs and hips instead, so they don't usually get pot bellies. I never knew what substance pot bellies are made of until now. I've been curious about them since I watched the French film "A Very Long Engagement" where a prostitute fires a gun at a mirror, sending glass shards into a guy's pot belly. It looked pretty solid.

Friday, June 26th 2009

OH NO!
Michael Jackson is dead!

I told you fame is evil! Everybody famous either dies too early or goes mad. I always stood by Michael Jackson, he was a cool person. Rest In Peace, Michael.

I'm turning 18 in 9 days. My mom just asked me where I want to celebrate it, I don't want to celebrate it with my family. They're so bloody mean. Mom insisted that I celebrate it at some stupid restaurant, but we all go to a restaurant every birthday or occasion, it's so lame and awkward and there's always some petty argument. I refuse to "celebrate" my birthday this way.
I suggested to Mom that she just get me a present instead of going to some restaurant, and I told her I put up my birthday wishlist on the refrigerator. She and my sister went to look at it, and they laughed.
They actually laughed at the things I wanted! Then they said those things were "stupid" and "useless" and "a waste of money" and "nonsense". This is exactly why I can't stand my family, why can't they just be nice, supportive people? They always have to say something mean to amuse themselves, it's disgusting.
I'm so embarrassed.

Wednesday, June 24th 2009

If someone could get me this book, I would be very happy. The only place that has it is the library @ Esplanade, and it's not even for loan! I haven't checked "Page One", though..

Okay, I have to blog about several things today. I'll do them in paragraphs.

Today, in the MRT, I saw an old person give up her seat for a woman with a toddler. Then, a young man, in turn, have up his seat for the old woman. The young man lied to the old woman that he was going to get off soon. 6 stops later, he was till on the MRT. However, I am pleased to type that there is humanity in society after all!

On Saturday, Sabby took me shopping and I was mortified by what I saw. We walked into places like "Juicy Couture", and a simple, slinky top was on sale at $1000+ per piece! No typo error. A pair of foam slippers was on sale at $120! I could buy each of those items with $10. Non branded, granted, but they look exactly the same. Who cares?! The brand label is on the inside of the top, soon to be cut off for being annoying!
This is ridiculous! What surprises me most is that people actually buy them!

Also, I've never been able to afford the famous Royce or Godiva chocolates, so Sab bought me a small box of Godiva truffles. I always wanted to know what the fuss is about, almost all my peers were talking about the "fantastic" chocolates.
I eagerly opened the box when I got home and, slowly and carefully, ate one of the six chocolates in the box. I made sure I ate it slowly lest I missed out on anything, expecting some wonderful new flavour to burst out of the milk-chocolate-coated truffle. To my disappointment, it tasted no different from the cheapskate Belgian "shell" chocolates I pestered my mom to buy when I was a kid. (Sorry, Sabby, but I have to say this:)
Poor people aren't missing out on anything.

Went to Esplanade library to study and borrow DVDs today, but it was so crowded, even the floor spaces were taken up! I was surprised to find all the DVDs I've wanted to borrow for a long time, though. They were right there for me to take! I must've done something good again. I borrowed two Italian movies, "Gone with the Wind", "Charlie Chaplin revue"and "Simpsons Christmas". Feeling happy but with nowhere to sit, I borrowed the DVDs and went to the Esplanade foyer to study. I did SOVA today, so it didn't take too long. It was raining hard, and the air-conditioner was blasting right at me so I got the studying over and done with. My hands were frozen by the time I finished, but I didn't feel guilty, so good!
Walked to Peninsular Plaza and Peninsular Shopping Centre and found some pretty cool shops. Talked to a nice skater lady who told me where to buy roller skates, and found a witchcraft shop with shelves full of herbs and stones and amulets, and tons of cheap skinny jeans and backpacks and other lovely stuff! I can't stand skinny jeans, but I'll go there for my backpacks in the future, should I need any.

Today, I held a banjo in my hands for the first time, and I fell in love. I've been looking around for things I want for my birthday. I still can't decide if I'll buy myself running shoes, roller skates or a banjo. I can only get one present for myself, the others are up to other people. I can't afford the whole banjo, though. Maybe if I pay half the price...? Anyway, I've done my research, and I've found 3 banjos in the entire country.
1) Shop opposite "Swee Lee", $399, I think. (Bras Basah Complex, Bugis)
2) "Maestro Concept Store", $399 (Excelsior Shopping Centre, City Hall)
3) "Renner Piano Co." $369.90 (Peace Centre, Dhoby Ghaut)

Great Singapore Sale is on, they may be on sale!

Monday, June 22nd 2009

He was such a skinny little thing. I can't get over the tramp having such good manners! It's very appealing.

Sab gave me a set of Charlie Chaplin DVDs, comprising 4 films, 3 of which I've already watched. (Don't worry, Sab, I'll watch them again and again!) The one I haven't watched is "Limelight".
Tonight, I watched "The Great Dictator" a second time. The first time I watched it, which was weeks ago, I disliked it so much that I returned it the next day. It was late and I was tired and grumpy, so I thought it was too political, like all the other political bullshit in the world. Tonight, however, I watched it while having my dinner, and I saw that it isn't too bad at all. Not many people die in the movie, and his portrayal of Hitler is more comical than hateful.

Mom finally found & bought me some overalls, my old ones were getting too tight. This one's very comfortable ($15!), but she had to alter the length of the trousers because they were too long. Oh, well. That's what I get for being short. It's fine being short in Asia, though. I shall have to carry a ladder with me when (not if!) I go abroad to stay and study.

Some research online lead me to news that Charlie Chaplin came to Singapore! Too bad I wasn't alive back then, but he stayed at Raffles Hotel in 1933! Gah! By then, he was 44 and totally rich, but that's beside the point.

I did some research online about "PhD", "masters" and "medical school". "Masters" takes 2 years of post-graduate studies, "PhD" takes 4-6 years of post-graduate studies (depending on whether you sat for "masters"), and graduating from medical school certifies you a doctor and gives you the ability to practise medicine. "Masters" and "PhD" are more for the research field.
I think a PhD is like a badge of mental perseverance. Years of having to endure and do well in the highest levels of a certain chosen field. That's why people think a PhD is so great.

A lot of my heroes didn't finish school, and most of them were in the arts scene. Charlie Chaplin wanted to be a professional classical composer, he practised the violin for hours everyday, locked in his room. He couldn't read a note of music. Yet, he became an actor, the father of comedy.
Elvis Presley wanted a bicycle or rifle for his 11th birthday, but instead, got a guitar. That's all his parents could afford to get him. Years later, he played the guitar for the world to hear.

My Dad thinks it's strange that I should idolise dead people. He lived through a time when they were all alive, but never gave them a second glance. He's the one who's strange. When I was young, I used to wonder why these few people were such a big deal. Elvis's face was everywhere, everyone spoke of the classic Charlie Chaplin, and Jamaican flags were hung here and there with Bob Marley's face grinning from them. Now I know why they're so great.
My heroes weren't born into wealth, they knew poverty. They built themselves a future out of scraps, they remembered what it was like to be hungry, to not be able to afford what they wanted and needed. They grew up to be the greatest people who ever lived!

My life is too boring. Nothing much seems to be happening nowdays, just a routine of studying, having meals and sleeping. I throw in voice lessons and exercise and a bit of television, but that's it.
Where's the action?!
I wish I could live like Joe Dirt or Charlie Bucket (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), feeling so happy to find money in the streets, planning what food to buy, down to the very last cent, having to brave danger and the cold, embracing adventure and going where my heart and feet take me.

Now that I think about it, it's not such a wonder that my heroes were poor once.

Friday, June 19th 2009 post 2

I've just overheard Dad telling Mom that my grandmother (Dad's mother) is in the hospital, due to some growth in her stomach. He's driving back to M'sia tomorrow to visit her.
I guess it's expected, most old people fall ill in some way, and she's quite old. I feel a bit bad, though, I was never really close to her. We live in different countries, and we don't speak the same language. I don't know what to say to Dad to comfort him, so I'm just being nicer and more forgiving when he's mean to me.

Meeting Sabby tomorrow, gonna buy some useful stuff for my room, like storage boxes or something. I baked brownies tonight, but am a bit worried because they smell funny. I thought it was the egg, but maybe it's just my imagination. I can't stand the smell of raw egg, and the smell of egg wasn't overpowering, so maybe it's not bad. Other than the whole egg thing, they're fine.

Finally found several places that sell banjos in Singapore, but I hope I can afford one. If only they sold banjos at $100. I need new running shoes, I've been using my current pair for about 3 years now, and the bottom is wearing out fast. It would be perfect for me to buy a new pair when my birthday arrives, but there are many other things I want as well. It seems ridiculous to pay $100 for a pair of shoes, but where else can I find good, cheap running shoes that hug the foot comfortably and support it, with good rubber soles with killer grips?!

Couldn't concentrate on Math today, so feeling lousy. My tuition homework is so weird, but it's not my syllabus. It just contains similar topics like trigo and all that, but it seems extremely un-doable. Extremely frustrating, so I tried doing some questions from my TYS, but didn't manage to do much.

Friday, June 19th 2009

Went to dinner with Kat and Gerv last night. It was wonderful getting together again. We had dinner at "Aston's" at the Cathay, and the food was all right. My steak was a little tough, but otherwise fine. Tasty.
Afterwards, we shopped at "Daiso", "Spotlight" and "Cotton On", but didn't spend much money. One has to have money to spend it. They're your typical good, girly-girls, so they tried on skirts and all that while I waited at some corner. We walked into one shop, and they were having a 50% sale on all items, I think. Anyway, Gerv picked up this pair of slippers that costs $99, it's unbelievable. How stupid can people get? Luckily, neither of us were stupid and we walked out the shop.
It was great to be around familiar people, and laughing a lot at stupid things and jokes. Very comforting, an escape from this dull life.

Wednesday, June 17th 2009

My second wisdom tooth is finally growing out! The first one grew out quite nicely, didn't give me any problems, but I'm not so sure about this one. The tiny speck of a tooth is already positioned a little bit out of line, and it may grow crooked and push against my inner cheek. Anyway, it still looks cute now. It's like I'm caring for a baby. Technically, I am.
Also, I really do believe that with wisdom teeth come wisdom. For me, at least.

Well, it's been a busy day. I woke up, watched "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" while having brunch. Watching it inspired me to have cabbage soup for lunch. If I could trade places with anyone in the world, it'd be Charlie Bucket, not because he won an entire chocolate factory, but because he's so close to his family.
Sometimes having all these material things matter squat to me. I guess it's good that I have food on the table and the money to buy more food and other things that I want, but it'd be much nicer to just have one day to look forward to, one day a year to have a whole chocolate bar to myself.

Had tuition again today, it wasn't bad. Teacher was surprised I finished all the questions she gave me last week. I guess I was supposed to do them slowly or something. After tuition, I continued watching "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" since Dad nagged at me non-stop during my brunch to "go study and stop wasting time". What does one have to do to get a peaceful, happy, filling breakfast around here?! Bloody hell, even when I study right in front of him, he says I don't study. Something is wrong, if he says it once more, I'm never studying in his sight again.

Practised my singing, all the exercises I know and my exam pieces. Tried to put "feeling" into them and succeeded, but somehow I can't do it in front of my voice teacher. It's just difficult. Practised retraction of the throat, inner smile, resonance and all that, but it's the emotions I have a problem with.

Ran at Bishan Park, gotta feel good when meeting up with Kat and Gerv tomorrow. At least I won't feel fat or guilty. Was supposed to bake brownies tonight, but I ended up watching "Scary Movie" instead. Gotta bake them for Sabby, so maybe I'll bake them on Friday night.

Tuesday, June 16th 2009

Charlie Chaplin was a pretty good-looking dude, so he looked good in any costume. I prefer him with his wildly-curly hair sticking up and out in all directions.

Last night, I got bored after playing 5 mins of "Sims 2", so I went on Wikipedia and did research on medical epidemics, then somehow stumbled upon Tuberculosis and Syphilis. Tuberculosis was a really dangerous disease back then, and since they didn't have antibiotics, or people couldn't afford it, about a billion people died of TB. It was very contagious, so it spread fast and wide.
The Syphilis page is even more scary. Quite obviously, Syphilis is a sexually-transmitted disease, so having sex was pretty much the only way to get it. The thing is, these diseases have an "incubation" period when there are no external signs of infection, so people continue to have sex and spread it further. In the 1000s (A.D.), people believed that applying mercury to their rashes and sores could cure them of Syphilis, by rubbing it on the skin, by mouth and by injection. Strangest thing is that mercury is supposed to be poisonous, but people lived! I love the saying "A night in the arms of Venus leads to a lifetime on Mercury".

These pages are frightening, but strangely fascinating and addictive.
Am currently reading the page on Leprosy.

I've done it! I've gotten all the dreads out of my hair, though it took me 3 days and an unbelievable lot of patience. One never realises how much skin and hair he sheds every day until he gets dreadlocks. 2 months of shedded hair came off, and lots of flakes of dead skin, but hey, it's human nature yah? Don't go all "eww, gross! Yuck, that's so disgusting!" on me. Anyway, I've gotten a haircut and my hair is hip, as usual. My stylist didn't believe I had dreadlocks and took them out, finishing less than an hour before getting my haircut.
It feels strange not having to painstakingly care for my dreads anymore, not feeling the weight of them, not having really, really tangled hair. However, it feels good to have light, fluffy hair again. Now that I've gone through having and caring for dreadlocks, I am a true survivor.

My Venus Flytrap is currently in my room listening to "Handel's Recorder Sonatas", enjoying the warmth of the IKEA table lamp. I noticed it grows a lot faster with music, so I guess it really works!

Am seriously considering a future in Psychology, but that will be my second choice to Biomedical Sciences. Of course, I'd love to spend a lifetime studying and prodding around in other people's organs, but a lifetime of studying and prodding around other people's minds sounds good too! Forensic science has fascinated me since I discovered serial killers and Hannibal Lecter (who could forget him?), and I love wickedly twisted minds, so it sounds exciting. What I'm worried about is that the only school that offers "Psychology Studies" is Temasek Poly, and that's at the other side of the country! I don't wanna do "Psychology and Community Services" or what ever they call it, done enough community work in Sec school, thanks very much.
The bonus in studying Psychology in Poly is that it doesn't have Math. It's a Humanities course, so it's very creative-English-based. That aside, am still working towards Biomedical Sciences. Biology really appeals to me, so I hope it'll somehow be part of my career in future. I don't ever want to be like those people who wind up in dead-end jobs because they can't/don't want to study. Have met enough of those people to know that it's a sucky life to lead.

Monday, June 15th 2009

Here's a poem I don't even remember I wrote. It was written and posted online 2 years ago.

"Clouds hover in the sky like a blanket of white,
A cool breeze gently blowing.
The blanket looks so thick and solid,
The layers barely showing.
How far is it from Earth, I wonder
Locked in an everlasting slumber.
Here I lie, forever wondering,
Snuggling inside the comfort of my mind."

Monday, June 15th 2009

Hiya folks!
Beautiful morning!

It's gonna be a slightly more relaxed week, I should say. Now that I've finished the first textbook, I'm doing 2 papers a week, so I have more free time on my hands to re-compile Math notes and bake Sabby's cookies. Will be meeting up with a few people this week, so it won't be an anti-social week for me. Usually I'm just cooped up at home with nobody to talk to, so I talk to my Venus Flytrap, but it doesn't talk back. At least it listens.

I've been spending time patiently taking my dreadlocks out. It's an emotionally painful process, like killing your babies. Oh well. My mom noticed that some of the ends are turning grey, and I panicked, because I wasn't sure if it was the shampoo or the whole dreadlock structure that was turning the ends grey, so I'm taking them out. It's a pity, but it doesn't mean I won't ever have them again! Maybe in the future, when I really do have grey hair.
Well, it's not all that bad, I guess. I miss having short, fluffy hair, and dreadlocks are extremely difficult to maintain. Everything gets stuck in it! Costly shampoo, too. Took pictures of them dreads before they were all out, so I'll always have the memories.

I aim to get them all out by tonight or tomorrow morning, then get a haircut after my voice lesson tomorrow, so my hair will more or less calm down in time for dinner with Kat and Gerv on Thursday. Good plan, good plan. I will miss my expressive hair, but I realised that I don't have to have expressive hair to be cool! I didn't get get dreads to look cool, but they ended up looking cool anyway, but I also like looking neat and hip. My short hair was always neat and hip!

Also, I noticed that all my heroes have/had expressive hair. Charlie Chaplin's was really curly and cute, Bob Marley had dreadlocks, Elvis had his wild comb-in-all-directions hair, Franco's is curly and blond.

I like all their hairstyles, but they're all men! I wouldn't look good with their hairstyles if I tried, apart from the dreadlocks. I was thinking of really curly hair (refer to previous post's picture), d'you think it would suit me?

Saturday, June 13th 2009

Been doing research on kisses. It's been recorded that kissing was around as early as 1500BC, though it is not known when exactly kissing came about, or how people developed it. Came across an interesting paragraph in an article, and I'll quote it:

"When you really think about it, kissing is pretty gross. It involves saliva and mucous membranes, and it may have historical roots in chewed-up food. Experts estimate that hundreds or even millions of bacterial colonies move from one mouth to another during a kiss. Doctors have also linked kissing to the spread of diseases like meningitis, herpes and mononucleosis."

The line about bacterial colonies moving from one mouth to another is the grossest part. Remember my germ-growing experiment? The "tongue" container is the most dangerous-looking one now. This big white blob of bacteria has climbed up the walls! The black germs have completely covered the surface of the gelatine solution, which has now turned liquid, broken down by bacteria. The brown germs are nowhere to be seen, because the black and white germs are so plentiful. Very frightening to think it comes from a mouth. MY mouth, at any rate. Gahh! Luckily, I clean my tongue every morning. The germs were taken in the morning, AFTER I brushed my teeth but before cleaning my tongue, so you can imagine what a whole night's sleep can do for the germs in your mouth.

Went to SPCA this morning. Mom finally came. She didn't exactly agree, but she's not so against the idea of getting a dog anymore. We didn't find a suitable dog for us today, so I guess we'll just go back again some time soon. I did, however, fall in love with a lovely little rabbit named Bubbles. He was really sweet, and he kissed my fingers as I rubbed his face through the bars. Boy, I'll never stop loving rabbits in my life.
I like bigger dogs, though. They're nice to cuddle, and they'll protect you and all that. The German Shepherd and Rottweiler I saw at SPCA are gorgeous and unbelievably friendly and curious. Too bad I live in a HDB flat. When (not if!), in my future, I move to the countryside of some lovely country, I'll go for big, friendly dogs.

Going to study with V tomorrow at Esplanade, then we're going to walk about town for a while before heading home. Shall borrow more Charlie Chaplin DVDs, I'm getting bored with "City Lights", which I've watched 4 times in a week. "Monsieur Verdoux" is all right, but I prefer his movies with his 'Tramp' character. He's cuter in those.

Friday, June 12th 2009

Feeling really lousy tonight.

Finally watched "Brokeback Mountain" in privacy, my mom walked in and out of the room at all the "right" parts, like "woman crying" or "kids talking to father" or "meat roasting over fire". I guess it wasn't total privacy, but good enough, considering how nosey people can be in this house. Well, watching "Brokeback Mountain" made me emotional, so I wasn't really in the mood for anything in particular. Had to talk to mom about adopting a dog from SPCA.

See, the SPCA requires the entire family to be present when adopting a dog. My brother refused to go, saying that if my mom goes, he would go. However, my mom is the most stubborn human being you'd ever meet. She's against it, using my dad as an excuse, saying he's too busy. It's bullshit, but that's beside the point. Anyway, both my brother and my mom called me selfish, so I stopped talking and stormed off to my room to cry. I don't really know why. It did sting a little, but you'd think I'd be used to it by now after 17 and a half years. Maybe it's the "Brokeback Mountain" that did it. I'm not sure if my sis can persuade them to go, but if she can't, I don't think we'll have an animal in the house any time soon. I miss having someone to talk to. I miss my Rabbit.

Sabby made my day by telling me about how she got me this Charlie Chaplin DVD collection. Only Volume 1, but Chaplin nonetheless! It's really sweet of her, can't wait to hang out with her when she flies back to visit.

Thursday, June 11th 2009

I knew I shouldn't have bought any cake! Every time I buy something for my parents, they're ungrateful. Every time I don't buy something for them, they're grumpy. Every time something is bought for them, I get scolded. It simply isn't fair. Why can't they just be decent human beings with courtesy and accept gifts with thanks?

Have been reading autobiographies of Charlie Chaplin. I've been discovering a lot about him with every flip of the page. He played the violin and piano well, and also played a little bit of cello. He danced and sang, too. Talented, no?
I was surprised to discover that he hated the smell of warm milk. Strange, because ever since I was young, I've hated warm milk. The smell is revolting! He said the smell of warm milk reminded him of sex. Now that I think about it, it's true.
He's becoming more of my hero every day. He's like the original Joe Dirt, only he was the real deal. The Tramp lived his life according to Charlie Chaplin's own life and experiences. He's always positive after being humiliated or laughed at, that's why I love him so much. He's a true hero in his own way.

We just got Dad to cut his birthday cake, and we sang him a birthday song. He stood by his ungrateful comments, but beamed as we sang him the song, a smile creeping over his face. Good to know that he isn't really unhappy about the gift.

Sis just showed me this short film on Youtube called "Chicken a la Carte", about poor people who don't have enough to eat, and how we "middle-class" people of society waste food, and how the poor people eat our left-overs. It was sad, but came as no surprise to me when they screamed, in their bold font, "25,000 people die of starvation EVERY DAY". I've done enough research on my own to know that. Millions of people die every day due to various reasons- like malaria and AIDS. If you've been reading my blog, you'd recall that I've typed about "malaria in Africa" before.

--------------------Must-Read Section--------------------
Well, H1N1 swine flu virus is finally declared an actual epidemic, and things have gotten a little exciting since. I suddenly have this sense of adventure in me, like you don't know what's coming next but you still want to risk your life and live normally. More people will be wearing masks out from now on, but I'm not sure I will. I'll think about it. Life is precious, but if it's time to die, it's time to die.
It's exciting to think that I'm living during/though an actual epidemic, even though it's not that serious because our ancestors have gone through similar flu epidemics before and have since evolved/adapted, in a way, to "fight" these flu viruses. The virus has mutated to become more dangerous than it used to be, but somehow it still seems mundane. Flu used to be a real killer, back when they had no idea what flu was. The Spanish Flu (1918-1920) was the worst, killing 20 to 100 million people. I wonder how many people are going down in this epidemic? Will it be really bad that it'll go down in history as the worst flu epidemic, or will it just be "another one of those"?

I often do research on epidemics that really made big holes in the world's human population, like the Black Death, Yellow Fever, Plague(s), Cholera, and they're all very interesting. Each one has different characteristics, and I read that people fell and died in the streets of these diseases. I know it sounds evil, but it would be an awesome sight. No doubt people won't be falling and dying in the streets due to this swine flu, since they'll all be in hospitals battling it out, so it won't be so exciting.
I don't really know what to feel now that the recent epidemic has been declared. Now faced with an actual world crisis, I don't know whether to be glad or sad. It's kind of like nature's way to cut down world population since we have too many people on the planet, but I'm part of that population. I guess I'm not really afraid of anything, death will come when it's time. There's really nothing to fear. I just wonder if I'll live long enough to see what happens next.(?)

Monday, June 8th 2009

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."

Been reading up on Charlie Chaplin and his life. He had a difficult childhood and was painfully shy and sickly. You can't imagine the dark background behind this lovable character. He hung out with all the famous people, I was shocked to see Albert Einstein's face in his photographs! Charlie Chaplin is one of a kind.

Watched "City Lights" last night. There were funny jokes, but I still think "Modern Times" was his best show. Of course, I haven't watched all of them, so I can't say for sure. Can't wait to watch them all, the Tramp is certainly my favourite character.

Went to SPCA today with sis and dad to see if there were any dogs suitable for us to adopt. It's pretty restricted, because we live in a HDB flat, so difficult to find small dogs for adoption. We need the whole family to go down to adopt a dog, so I'm hoping we can all go down on Saturday. My parents keep saying that I have no time to take care of a dog, that I have to study, etc. I'm already studying so much, but they're crazy and expect me to do it 24/7. I think even then, they wouldn't be satisfied. I can't stand them being so difficult, I need an outlet desperately. I'm cooped up at home day after day with Dad forcing studies down my throat while he idly sits and watches TV, eats and sleeps.
I wish Rabbit were still here, I miss him. He gave me a reason to live.

I'm going to spend more time alone from now on, taking time to go to Kinokuniya/Borders in the evenings to browse books and get lost in them. I sat with a really big book of Charlie Chaplin at Esplanade library the other day. I got lost in it, just having to concentrate on that and nothing/nobody else in the world. It was lovely, I got lost in it, couldn't hear or see anything else.
I feel the need to get away from the house nowadays. The house drains me of determination and discipline, and whenever Dad's at home, the TV's on, it's very distracting. Even in my room with the door locked, I can't work. There's just something depressing about being at home, I've just gotta get out and away from it! Anywhere else would be fine.

Sunday, June 7th 2009

Lovely smile.
If I manage to find a smile like this one in the reference books at esplanade library, I'll enlarge it and paste it on my wall.

Went to Bugis library with V today, diligently did my Geog paper. After I finished, it looked quite impressive, even though I merely wrote the points on the page itself. Couldn't find any big Charlie Chaplin books, was disappointed! Luckily, I didn't go home empty-handed. I went home with an autobiography and movie-and-life summary. I really want that big book I saw at Esplanade library, it had really great pictures and lotsa info on each film he was in. Too bad it's only for reference, must be super-expensive, maybe $80. Maybe I can add that to my birthday wishlist?

Gonna add something else to my wishlist: rollerskates! Quad roller skates, the ones used before rollerblades came along. Quads are the ones with the 4 wheels separated, like a car/truck. Rollerblades are the one with wheels in a line under the boot. I have rollerblades but they're really too heavy to move freely. I want rollerskates, but they don't sell them any more. Not here, at least, so I thought I'd make my own. They have DIY rollerskate videos online, but I need special skate parts to make them. I'll visit a skate shop one of these days to see if they have them. It would be pretty cool if I could make my own.

Went out for dinner with family tonight, it's for Father's Day and Dad's birthday. Strange that my parents' birthdays fall within a week of their respective Mother's/Father's Day. It was an awkward dinner (as it has been for so many years). Other tables were filled with noisy people busy talking and joking, ours was silent. I just concentrated on eating to busy myself, all I wanted to do was to go home and watch Charlie Chaplin. It's nice to get lost with him in his adventures, it peels away the stress from my hectic day-life.

Friday, June 5th 2009

At last! I've graduated from watching shows filmed in the 1930s-1940s, to watching films made from 1910-1930! Charlie Chaplin, of course, considering that there weren't many films made back then because everyone was without a job and all that. I've watched the two shows I borrowed ("The Gold Rush" and "Modern Times"), 3 times each. "The Gold Rush" has gotten old, but "Modern Times" is still great. Can't wait to borrow more of his films. His charm is captured in every one.

Went to watch "Night at the Museum 2" with V today, it wasn't too bad. I like the evil guy's muscles, they're very nice. The jokes were funny, only I think they didn't have enough. What I like most about the movie is the fact that they had to do research on every character that appears in the show. They had to read up on history to find out exactly what these people were like, what their legends are/were, etc. Never really thought about all the work behind the movie before.

Went back to school yesterday to get Geog papers for practising on. Luckily, I had no problems getting into the school, especially since security is tighter now. It felt good to be back at someplace familiar. Every thing's still where it used to be, so familiar, so comforting.
I haven't attended to school for half a year now, and it feels really empty. I wake up every day with nothing to look forward to. No school singers at assembly, no scoldings for not doing my homework, no sitting through interesting or boring classes, no laughing at any jokes.
Life has lost its meaning.
I don't deserve this! I deserve to be in a good school, in the course I want to be in, but I can see that this extra year is helping me to like Math. I shied away from it since failing it in Primary 2. I guess this year will make my life easier when I have to do 2 kinds of Math in the 1st year of Poly, so it's not all bad. Once I get through it, I'll be a true survivor.

Wednesday, June 3rd 2009

Watched two of Charlie Chaplin's films again, the jokes haven't gotten old yet. I watched "The Gold Rush" again today, and noticed that he had a strange, half-English-half-American accent. I just can't match his voice and face! I also noticed that he (his Tramp character) had really good manners! It's really cute of him to tip his hat in greeting or thanks. Good manners are always attractive, I wish more people are/were like him.
His character is always cheerfully optimistic in any bad situation, never a sore loser, and even after he gets pushed and kicked around, he doesn't forget his manners. If I could live like Charlie Chaplin, life would be a breeze.

Had a session of tuition with the new teacher today, and it was slightly better than I thought. I won't lie and say it was fantastic, because it wasn't. It was just below "good", but I managed to clarify some things I didn't understand, some topics I couldn't do before. I can't remember the teacher's name, but I think I can push that aside for now. Anyway, she was droning on about some question in Math-lingo, and I remember staring at the question, but my mind was elsewhere. I distinctively remember thinking,"What the hell is she talking about?", but after I asked her to rephrase, she put it in lesser words, in English, and I understood perfectly. Hmm.

Groomed more locks today, and Dad told me to "stop wasting time on that kind of thing ah!", but I ignored it. I'm getting better at the crochet-needle thing, my locks are turning out nicer than the ones I did 2 days ago. I don't think I can finish them all before Friday, though. I've only done 12 so far, but I don't look too funny with some done and some undone, only I've never noticed how messy the undone ones looked.

Didn't do any Math today. I don't actually know why. I had tuition for 2 hours, and didn't do any other Math today. Gonna do Art tonight, though. Will do more Math tomorrow if I can to catch up. Can't afford to fall behind. Luckily, my Math schedule for the 1st textbook ends just before the 2nd week of June, so I have some free days to finish if I haven't already done so by then.

Oh yah, I forgot to mention one thing. I mentioned, to my tuition teacher, that I was an Art student, and will be re-taking the paper this year. She saw my exercise book full of Math sums (which, by now, looks most impressive!) and exclaimed about how neat it was! I looked at her, and she said something about me being an Art student and how she could tell by my neat exercise book full of sums.
Art students are supposed to be the messy lot, the Science and Math kids are the neat-freak ones. Somehow she associated neatness with being an Art student.
What the hell's the connection between the two?!

Tuesday, June 2nd 2009

Woah, my exercise regimen really works! My trousers felt looser on me today, and I haven't gone on a diet or anything, I'm eating whatever I want, whenever I want to, only I've been exercising regularly. My exercise regimen isn't too tough. I jog/run for 2 evenings per week for about 1-1+1/2 hours each time. Every morning, I do conditioning exercises: 50 crunches, 30 push-ups, 30 back-ups and 30 bench-lifts. Doesn't hurt too much, and I do more when I can, like when I'm jogging at the park.

Been watching more of Charlie Chaplin, his movies are hilarious! I prefer the silent ones, though. Something about them just seem more appealing than the talkies, maybe because we take talkies for granted. I think Charlie Chaplin looks more handsome in costume. When I was young, I thought this was his natural look! He looks much cuter in his costume and toothbrush moustache, I like his curly hair and sheepish grin.

Anyway, on the not-so-bright-side, my parents have hired a tutor, and I'm having the first class tomorrow. It's one-on-one, but I'm still a little worried. Tutors have never worked for me before, like that one time my parents hired this China woman to teach me both Chinese and Math. My Chinese is bad enough already, right? She taught Math in Chinese! Obviously, it didn't work out.

Bought two crochet needles yesterday, and have been grooming my dreadlocks. I've been tightening them and making them blunt, so the tip doesn't just stick out and get undone. So far, I've only done 6 of them. You wouldn't believe how tedious it is to crochet the dreads! It took me about 2 hours to do 2 of them! Today's a little faster, but still tedious. I have about 50 locks on my head! (I lost count halfway) I hope to finish them by Friday so I don't look like an idiot when I meet up with V for a movie.