Wednesday, 29th June 2011

There.
There's that feeling.

Remember how I slogged my ass off during the Mid-Sem tests? It all paid off, and apparently the flashcard method works well for me! I've finally found a study method that works for a picky Yours Truly!

I'd never been told I was "on the right track" or "doing well" before, so this is rather new, so don't mind if I boast a bit! ;) Took me two terrible semesters (both with supp papers) to get to this point, so it wasn't an easy journey, but I think I can safely say that I shall nevermore take a supp paper!

This is incredible news so near to my 20th birthday which, by the way, is a little scary for me. My friends tell me I don't look a day over 18, and I'll bet with stakes that I can pass for 15 in my school uniform. My family has taken me to Marche for a lovely dinner at which I went crazy ordering food, and my brother has nonchalantly put some new iPhone covers on my study-table. My parents always know when my birthday is, but they always forget how old I am. Maybe when I turn 21 and start to do awesome stuff, they'll realise it.

Until Tuesday next week, I remain, still, a happy teenager. I've been colouring a lot in my little sketchbook lately. Can you believe I paid $2.50 for an entire set of markers?! Been creating new characters and resurrecting old ones, drawing from dreams and thoughts. Though the pages are all laden with colours, a closer look would reveal a darker side of my subconscious which, thankfully, nobody really bothers looking into.

Post Created Jun 20, 2011 11:09:06 PM

The room is dark.

Lights were put out half an hour ago, but the urgent whispering still rises from the assortment of sleeping bags laid out on the cold floor.

My body lies here, but my soul is out on the treetops.

17th June 2011

She weaved in and out like an experienced vulture; eager to get the job done so that she could have dinner. It was a dream, though more so a nightmare, all of the cruelty with none of the wickedness.

She did not mean to kill; she had to, forced by an upper hand more powerful than she. With diamond she armed her beautiful self and, wielding cruelty as her weapon, she brought the young one down with one strike.

And yet, under all that fear was love.

Tuesday, 14th June 2011

I was there. I was dreaming.
It happened right before my eyes.

I was walking along a really large canal somewhere near a muddy-looking reservoir in Singapore, and I remember looking hard for crocodiles because I saw the warning sign. I was high up on a pavement, a looooong stretch of railings lining the edge. I sat in front of the railing, staring into the muddy water, hoping for a scaly head to appear.

Just then, I saw three surface. The three crocs were huge, they should've been about 5 metres long, muscular and hungry. Then, a familiar head poked out of the water. It was the Loch Ness Monster, going up for some air. It was a lovely mix between light purple, blue and green. It had fat little legs that paddled underwater and soft long neck.

The crocs were greedy. They attacked the Loch Ness Monster, snapping their lined jaws and ripping flesh in a violent frenzy. The muddy water took upon a reddish hue, and I saw no more of that lovely Loch Ness Monster, only some of its legs floating on the water.

-For my lovely Loch Ness Monster.

Monday, June 13 2011

It's like the deadlines never end.

Just tonight, we were told we had to split into groups for an A Capella competition. Oh God, oh God. My heart got sliced into a million pieces as soon as they'd announced it.

I know it's "gonna be fun" and all that, but it means more deadlines to meet, more competing with other groups, having to work and get along with new people.
The New People.

So far, only a few of The New People have been rather friendly, one of whom I already know. I tried to get to know a few more, but they have proved to be incredibly cold. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, it's rather getting on my nerves.

Why do they do this?
Two weeks of what's supposed to be a holiday is now taken up by camps and more deadlines. Sometimes I wonder- since I'm being taught how the body works and how to keep it alive, surely it would make it a lot easier for me to do the opposite?

Obviously, a fork won't be enough.

The warmth I was greeted with on my first day at this choir is all gone now, the seniors are all busy or gone, so many good friends lost. I feel as if it's missing something, love in a sea of people, kindness in a favor.
The judging eyes glance when you walk into a room, the secret sneers and cruel smirks brand wherever they land, and it hurts, oh, it hurts so.

All the familiarity is gone.

The Lie

You've got your ball
You've got your chain
Tied to me tight
Tie me up again
Who's got their claws in you my friend?
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you.

Sunday, 12th June 2011

Not too long ago, I heard of a theory.

Everybody was so hyped up about smart phones, smart computers, smart tablets, smart refrigerators, smart everything. Everything was made "smart", but what kind of smart exactly?

Someone said to me, "It'd be pretty scary if one day these things get too smart."

I watched Transformers tonight, and truth be told, it was very, very exciting. I'm usually not into action films, but I'm all for Bumblebee. It just occurred to me that the reality of machines getting "too smart" for us is very real. Heck, people have already found ways to create robots with life-like personalities!

Anyway, just tonight I discovered that I'm developing some sort of immunity against sadness. Stupid petty things that usually made me cry now just strike me as, well, petty. I think I have "Biutiful" to thank.
Now, I'm not going to type a whole paragraph of "how this movie has changed my life", I'm just going to say that I'll never know when I'm about to die. What the hell, why put in time and effort being unhappy when I can enjoy every moment?

I don't believe that I need to be sad to feel real happiness. I've had my fair share of upsetting experiences, as some of my friends would know. I've shed too many tears for stupid little things, and now when something petty comes along, I just let it go.

It's getting easier and easier, just like everything else I've trained myself to deal with. Secrets lie in a box not even gamma rays can penetrate.

Stupid things?
They'll never touch me.