It never fails to amaze me, how much I've grown in the past four/five years of my life.
Each time I come across some piece of me I've lost a while ago, there's this longing-for-the-past feeling. I guess some parts of my past is/was sad, but having had to go through those things, I learnt from my experiences; what not to do, what to do. Who to trust.
It was an extreme learning experience, and I've become less gullible, I've learnt to love myself more, and for who I am. I've learnt that people can't be changed easily, and I've made decisions about how I shouldn't try to change anyone, but just tolerate them. Society is made up of different types of people, and in my Singaporean society, the people are mostly selfish, and they are super-rude. There's the bad part of society, and there's the eenie-meenie good part, which I want to be part of. I hope I already am, but it's too much to hope for at the age of 16-17. People don't treat me as a human being yet.
Perhaps I should wait a while, maybe they'll change on their own?
Right now, I'll learn to love myself even more, and I'll do what I want.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sunday, April 20th 2008
The internet is finally back! It's been gone for weeks.
It's tedious trying to complete my Art in time for my MY exams. I have two Art papers to do prep-work for. One is the 'O' paper, one is the MY Drawing and Painting paper. The 'O' and 'N' papers are the most difficult ones because it requires the candidate to stick to his/her chosen stimulus all year round, and work on it continuously, producing final work as well as prep-work.
Terrible.
I guess it is enjoyable, especially when I force myself to work on a certain drawing for days or even weeks, and it turns out exceptionally well. However, there's my drawing of a wilted flower that doesn't look like a wilted flower. The drawing of the rose looks more fresh, like it's actually a rose. The wilted flower looks like a rotting piece of human skin. I guess it wouldn't be too bad, since I do need pictures and drawings of rotting human flesh anyway.
My maggot-growing experiment (for Art prep) has failed drastically! Someone has stolen it! It's been gone from the tree since I've returned from Italy. I wonder what happened to the rotting piece of pork I put in the cage? I know ants burrowed into it and made many small holes in it, and there were some big, scary-looking flies buzzing around it, but that was all I saw before I went to Italy.
Oh, well. So much for wanting primary sources.
Yes! Clay Aiken's releasing another album, after many months of hiding! May 5th, 2008. YES YES YES!!!
"On My Way Here"
Small print: Only if nothing goes wrong with the shipment.
Am anticipating it.
It's tedious trying to complete my Art in time for my MY exams. I have two Art papers to do prep-work for. One is the 'O' paper, one is the MY Drawing and Painting paper. The 'O' and 'N' papers are the most difficult ones because it requires the candidate to stick to his/her chosen stimulus all year round, and work on it continuously, producing final work as well as prep-work.
Terrible.
I guess it is enjoyable, especially when I force myself to work on a certain drawing for days or even weeks, and it turns out exceptionally well. However, there's my drawing of a wilted flower that doesn't look like a wilted flower. The drawing of the rose looks more fresh, like it's actually a rose. The wilted flower looks like a rotting piece of human skin. I guess it wouldn't be too bad, since I do need pictures and drawings of rotting human flesh anyway.
My maggot-growing experiment (for Art prep) has failed drastically! Someone has stolen it! It's been gone from the tree since I've returned from Italy. I wonder what happened to the rotting piece of pork I put in the cage? I know ants burrowed into it and made many small holes in it, and there were some big, scary-looking flies buzzing around it, but that was all I saw before I went to Italy.
Oh, well. So much for wanting primary sources.
Yes! Clay Aiken's releasing another album, after many months of hiding! May 5th, 2008. YES YES YES!!!
"On My Way Here"
Small print: Only if nothing goes wrong with the shipment.
Am anticipating it.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Wednesday, April 2nd 2008
Still ill, unfortunately, but I participated actively in the strenuous physical activities today, such as HHF and PE.
Proud of myself.
Mrs Khoo finally changed our seating arrangement(s), so now I'm sitting diagonally in front of the teacher's table, which is great, because I can ask questions more easily, and the whiteboard is right in front of me. No stupid tall people with big heads/hair blocking me.
I wonder if Mrs Khoo would teach me Math one-on-one if I asked her? Can't help feeling bad because she obviously doesn't need any extra work, but I really want to pass my Math. I have to pass my Math in order to achieve my aim. I won't tell you what it is yet, in case I fail to achieve it.
Mrs Khoo has told me to seek help from other people countless times, people like my classmates (e.g. Regina, who sat beside me in class), but I refused, and still refuse to. I don't see why other people have to be dragged down with me. Can't ask family members, they'd just lose their patience and end up yelling at me. Mrs Khoo, however, is my Math teacher.
At least I've a reason to ask her.
Proud of myself.
Mrs Khoo finally changed our seating arrangement(s), so now I'm sitting diagonally in front of the teacher's table, which is great, because I can ask questions more easily, and the whiteboard is right in front of me. No stupid tall people with big heads/hair blocking me.
I wonder if Mrs Khoo would teach me Math one-on-one if I asked her? Can't help feeling bad because she obviously doesn't need any extra work, but I really want to pass my Math. I have to pass my Math in order to achieve my aim. I won't tell you what it is yet, in case I fail to achieve it.
Mrs Khoo has told me to seek help from other people countless times, people like my classmates (e.g. Regina, who sat beside me in class), but I refused, and still refuse to. I don't see why other people have to be dragged down with me. Can't ask family members, they'd just lose their patience and end up yelling at me. Mrs Khoo, however, is my Math teacher.
At least I've a reason to ask her.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Tuesday, April 1st 2008
A quick update, I should be asleep by now.
Still ill, but perhaps not on the brink of dying anymore. Just coughing uncontrollably, and I've lost my voice completely. Throat is still giving me Hell.
I found it funny when Sab called me over the phone just now. I couldn't say anything! I ended up whispering into the phone, which requires no vibrating of the vocal chords.
I wonder how I'd react if I found out I couldn't sing anymore?
Still ill, but perhaps not on the brink of dying anymore. Just coughing uncontrollably, and I've lost my voice completely. Throat is still giving me Hell.
I found it funny when Sab called me over the phone just now. I couldn't say anything! I ended up whispering into the phone, which requires no vibrating of the vocal chords.
I wonder how I'd react if I found out I couldn't sing anymore?
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