Tuesday,Jan 23rd 2007

Finally have time to blog again.
Been busy doing work,I never knew it was so exhausting being a good student.If I weren't one to worry so much,I wouldn't have bothered to open my textbook.Uh,or do my homework.Yah.Kinda tired.Typer's block,or whatever you call it.
Only today,Mdm Hong gave us another surprise Chinese test.This time,the test was worse because we weren't given multiple choice for that fill in the blanks in the passage thingy,and there were so many long and draggy passages to get through and answer that by the time I got to the comprehension,my head was ready to drop onto the tabletop,my eyes closed.
I slapped myself awake and stared at the compre passage,clueless.I could read the words but somehow they didn't make any sense to me,like each word was a seperate thing,like they couldn't be connected and on the whole,I couldn't understand and process the passage at all,so I left 3/5 questions empty for the compre.Why was I so tired,anyway?!
Today has been boring.Nothing really bad happened,so that was okay.
Really not looking forward to tomorrow,there's choir.It's not the choir that I hate,it's the responsibility,you know,in getting my buddy ready for the auditions and things like that.I'm seriously worried because she either doesn't turn up for rehersals due to whatever reasons,or she leaves early.I can't actually remember a day when she stayed till we were all dismissed.
Also,I seriously dislike "I am my brother's keeper".The notes are difficult to get,so bloody difficult to learn,even more difficult to teach.I wonder how Gervin can survive.Dunno how Si Jia can like that song!
Listening to Celine Dion's "I'm Alive" now.I think it's a nice song,but for some reason it makes me cry.It's supposed to be a happy song!Aiyah,I'm weird lah.
Gotta go have dinner,ciao.

Friday Jan 19th 2007

Tomorrow is goodbye long hair day!
Ok,that sounds lame.I'm cutting my hair tomorrow.Kat wants a nice fringe,I want short hair,so we're gonna go cut our hair together @ that Jean Yip salon place.Hopefully,nothing crops up last min that "disables" Kat from being able to go.Sigh.
I'm actually excited,because it's the first time in my life when I'm gonna cut my hair and none of my family members will be present.Don't know why,it gives me a sense of..Hmm.
Responsibility?Something like that.I dunno.It's a growing-up thing.As kids grow older,they like to go out doing things by themselves that they used to do with their parents,you know?Maybe it's just me.
I think my parents are too possessive (sp?).They didn't want me to cut my hair!NO,of course I didn't listen to them,it wouldn't be fair to me/myself.I insisted until they said yes.Why the hell should they have any control over what I want my hair to look like?
Still don't understand why people nowadays want mature children.Are they mad?They should just shut up and let kids grow at their own pace.Forcing a child to grow up faster than his/her natural speed (mentally or physically etc) is cruel and it will plague him/her for the rest of his life,I'm telling you.

Thursday,Jan 18th 2007

I never thought anyone would bother reading my blog anymore.I thought that since I hadn't been updating it often enough,people have just..given up reading,or something like that.
Maybe people just happen to stumble upon it.

Feeling kinda emotional again.I've just watched "Just Like Heaven" on my comp.Truthfully,I cried.Yeah..Hey,that's allowed.
Have you readers ever been worried that someone might forget who you are?It's such a painful experience.Well,not that I've been through that,but I always fear that it might happen to me one day.I'd be heartbroken.Well,okay.Not that my heart can literally break unless you freeze it and smash it or something,but...I don't really know how to explain it.You gotta imagine.
In "Just Like Heaven",man and spirit fall in love,but when the spirit's body finally awakens from a coma,she doesn't recognise the man at all.After all he'd done for her,it's like starting from the very beginning when she had no clue about who he was.If I were him...
It's so disappointing when the person you love most doesn't recognise you at all,you know?

I don't know.I have typer's block.Tried writing lyrics at school but couldn't do it very well.Now I'm trying to type about my thoughts but I can't seem to.Suddenly,it's become so difficult.
I'm gonna update again next time.

Wednesday,Jan 3rd 2007

To the person who tagged my board as "anon" who asked "what are you wishing for?" ,I'll give you an answer.
I wish for fairness and acceptance,and peace (and love) amongst people.

Sometimes the world can be cruel.My sister once said that "people are ugly".Ugly,not in the looks sense,if you know what I mean.We were watching "War of the Worlds",and there was this scene where that Tom Cruise guy was driving his car through a crowd of people,and people started smashing the glass,even "tearing" it open with their own bare hands.

Fairness,because my form teacher obviously hates me already,but she has since Sec 2 anyway.She was being unfair to the class while checking uniforms.The whole class made an effort to pull up their socks and belts,and they looked quite decent,maybe except for the fact that some of them had skirts too short.However,my form teacher wanted more.In the end she ended up booking everyone,even me,for something that she thought looked indecent.Either she's overly obsessed or she likes her students to look nerdy.The three fingers (used to measure the looseness of the belt from the body) she used were put wrongly.As a result,even some of the most goodie-two-shoes got booked.It's unbelievable.I'd better not say anything more about her,though.
Acceptance,because I think I've had a pretty bad "first" day at school.I felt like I didn't belong,you know?No,I don't want to sound like those whiny (sp?) kids who always complain about being "alone" and "lost".I just want to say that I really did feel alone.It seemed like everyone else had someone to talk and stick to.Even Zulaikha had Olivia.Don't know why,but I felt pretty left out.I want to be accepted for who I am.I always have to act so happy in whatever I do,unless I really do laugh at a joke or something funny.All the people whom I usually hung out with last year are in different classes from me.They're grouped together,but I'm alone.
It's possible that I feel a little sensitive now because I've just finished watching "School Ties" again.It's about a boy who gets ostracized for being Jewish.He didn't choose to be Jewish,and it was very painful watching him being treated differently just because of his religion,because of what he believed in.
Peace.Peace.I don't know what I can type about peace.What I can't type is what matters.I'm afraid I'm not ready for this portion yet.Do people just say they want world peace for the sake of saying it?So that people will think that they have a big heart?Obviously,there are people who don't want world peace.Look at people like Hitler and all those baddies we've heard so much about.Only recently,one was hanged.They are selfish.Maybe in the future I'll find better words to describe them.

I know some people may be offended having read some of the stuff that I've typed today,but please don't confront me about it.I've had enough already.

Someone Else's Star

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
Stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up
Oh,I wish I may
And I wish with all my might
For the love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life

I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star
It seems like someone else keeps getting what I'm wishing for
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are?
I guess I must be wishing on someone else's star