I really felt a need to type about this.
Today,we got the "Parent-Teacher Dialogue" forms.There was a whole stack of it,too.Mrs Khoo was reading off the names one by one and giving out the forms.Of course I had to get one,I did pretty badly this Mid Year(s).I was expecting something quite bad,but thankfully I only have to "meet" 3 teachers.Well,for one,there's Mrs Khoo.Then,there's Mdm Hong and Ms Yip.I don't know,I haven't done anything seriously terrible except do badly in exams,so I think it shouldn't be so bad.It's not as if I committed a crime or something.
I remember sitting in that class,looking at my own appointment form,and then looking at everyone else around me.Those who got it looked really worried.Those who didn't just HAD to rub it in,didn't they?They kept letting out sighs of relief and all that,which I found pretty annoying.I mean,come on.Give us a little of your sympathy?
So after choir practice,I was walking home from AMK MRT station,and then I started to think about the people who looked worried after they received the forms.Like Ms Yip said earlier today,if we didn't behave really badly or anything,why should we be worried?They would only want to talk about our results,then.
So then I wondered,what were those people worried about?
Showing the world that they did really badly and they are failures?Getting a scolding from their parents?Disappointing their parents?
In my case it's probably number 3.However,when I ask people around me why they're worried,they tell me number 2.
I actually don't get it.So what if your parents scold you for poor results?First off,the parents are the crazy ones.It's not as if the kid will be super encouraged by the scolding.These parents have been alive for too long and have forgotten what their childhood was like.That's too bad,don't take it out on the kid.
You scold the kid and the kid will have it infixed in his/her mind that he/she's a failure and that he/she will never succeed in life.
Trust me,I should know.
You know,if kids didn't bother about what their parents think about them,they'd be so much happier.That little bit more confidence can do a lot.It's like being a failure in other people's eyes but not in your own.I wish I have/had that kind of confidence.With that,I can achieve almost anything,like trying things I never dared to try,just be myself and be happy,rather than keep trying to live up to other people's expectations.Life's too short for that kinda thing.
It's like a choir competition.People don't know and don't care how difficult it actually is or how difficult it was to get there,they only want to see the prize at the end.Same thing.Parents don't seem to know or care how difficult it is to do well in everything,they've been alive for too long.They only want to see their kids being overachievers.
If you know me well enough,I hate to disappoint other people,especially if I can't really control it.No,I mean like Math and Chinese.Things I've been trying to pass for about 9 years now and I still haven't been able to,especially even though I worked hard for this year's MYs.I mean,yes,they've finally improved,but it's still a fail.I know I can't expect miracles,but it's disappointing all the same.I know I'm gonna fail and yet I'm disappointed when I do.
Hey,I'm allowed to be disappointed in myself,but it's utterly annoying when other people are disappointed in me,for what I've done or not done or what other crap you guys can think of.Why should I be concerned with whether you're disappointed or not?It's not even my problem.
Like Ms Tham said,give your best and nobody can ask any more from you.
So is it really worth it worrying about what my parents might think?
Would I be degrading my self-esteem if I do?
No comments:
Post a Comment