I would have to rend my soul.

Rend-To rip/tear something apart violently.
Something so tragic happened today.
It wouldn't seem tragic unless you're in my shoes.
For being smarter than other people (not to sound proud or anything),I've had taken away from me what I wanted most.
Oh,why did it have to be English?!
I regret trying so hard for English last year.I don't know why.
I felt happy at that time knowing that I've reached a higher level of achievement but now I really don't know..I don't-
I don't know what to say.I know what I'm thinking of,but people would probably just laugh at me and call me an idiot for not wanting to do O'level English.I mean I know,who doesn't want to,right?
But really,it isn't very fun at all.
It's like having your favorite toy taken away from you.
Sigh.
I know that mom would want me to continue doing O'level English regardless of what I want just because she wants something to show off about.
She doesn't care about what I want.
Why on Earth do these people have to spoil it all? -Xiulin.