Wed,Apr 18th 2007

I have decided that one of the ways to practice "writing" is to blog. Of course, since tomorrow is my English paper, I had better type properly.
There are so many things going on in my life right now. There are exams, homework, SYF, constant worrying about a lot of things. One of them is choir, and how I am going to cope with it as well as my schoolwork. It was never much of a problem before, because I never really did my schoolwork until this year. I also fear that once my fellow Sec 4 choristers leave, the standard of the choir would drop, in terms of discipline, and also vocally as a choir.
Once they leave, I would be all alone again.
Sigh.
It is such a constant struggle to finish my schoolwork, as well as pay attention in class and try to absorb everything that is taught. Yet, I keep finding people breathing down my neck, forcing me to work harder.
That is what I hate about success, and the one thing I like about failure.
Take failing a test as an example.

If you were never good at Math, and you have been failing Math tests and exams for at least seven years, people's expectations of you would be that you fail Math again, but of course they would keep hoping for you to pass.
Eventually, you do pass, due to some kind of miracle. You just made it past the passing mark. Of course, even you would feel happy for yourself. However, from then on, people expect more of you. They develop greater expectations of you, and if you do not meet those expectations, everybody would be utterly disappointed.
Even I cannot see why, because nobody is perfect.

It has been exhausting trying to get through "Sophie's World" by Jostein Gaarder. "The Christmas Mystery" and "Through a Glass, Darkly" were much more straightforward and easy to understand. There is a lot of philosophy in "Sophie's World", sometimes boring, but I have found many interesting questions in that book. They require deep thought, but are fun to think about. You can come up with your own theories.

I had better stop here. Am still a little sick. I could not even eat ice-cream on Ben & Jerry's free cone day, and I absolutely love their ice-cream! Dearest Cherry Garcia.. My doctor said I cannot consume anything spicy, oily, or anything to do with milk. I have not had a decent night's sleep for the past two weeks. Not one consisted of at least eight hours. If I want to do well and be able to concentrate during the exam tomorrow, I had better turn in early tonight.