It has its grip on me. Its grip is strong and firm, gentle, but with swift movement can crush me to bloody bits.
I wore my best dress out today. I left the house feeling at the top of the world, and went home feeling like lowly crap. There are new fears. It will be some time until I eat xiao long bao or catch a movie with anyone again.
I hate to cry. It was not therapeutic this time, just plain frustrating. I just wanted to get away, to leave, to go home and hide in my room forever, then I'd probably just starve to death and it would all be over.
But.
I was brave. I stuck it out. I'm so difficult to love.
Oh, Oscar. I want to be there so badly. Away from here, these people, these places, these habits, these fears. What is the price of freedom?
Am I too poor to pay?
I wore my best dress out today. I left the house feeling at the top of the world, and went home feeling like lowly crap. There are new fears. It will be some time until I eat xiao long bao or catch a movie with anyone again.
I hate to cry. It was not therapeutic this time, just plain frustrating. I just wanted to get away, to leave, to go home and hide in my room forever, then I'd probably just starve to death and it would all be over.
But.
I was brave. I stuck it out. I'm so difficult to love.
Oh, Oscar. I want to be there so badly. Away from here, these people, these places, these habits, these fears. What is the price of freedom?
Am I too poor to pay?
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