Friday,March 30th 2007

What a long long week it's been.
It's been so tiring,so many things have happened and I've been struggling to catch up with homework all week.
Lets tackle these things one by one.

1)IJ Superstar:
It was terribly scary to have to go first.I was usually happy to have someone else go first,you know,so the rest of us had an example to follow,if we wanted to.Then I was picked to go first,because I had to rush off to choir practice anyway,I almost died.I had to set the benchmark.
Tried to keep calm and all,the keeping calm part didn't go too badly,but I couldn't walk around and sing,it felt as if my feet were nailed to the floor and when I tried to move them,I couldn't,so I just stood there,almost frozen save for a little bit of swaying through the song.
Well,sing I did,got nice comments from people,but I didn't make it through anyway.The judges were Mr Bernard Chan and Ms Lu Wenshi.I guess that explains a lot.I walked out of there knowing I did my best,and I didn't sound bad,so that was fine.
Kinda upset that Tiffy didn't make it.I mean,she deserves it.Nice voice,suited for Chinese pop,I guess,but I didn't get to hear her sing when her turn came because like I said,I had to rush off to choir prac.
Maybe I'll give it a shot again next year,we'll see.

2)Choir SYF Auditions:
Yes!I did it!I was practically shaking by the time I got to the Performing Arts room after IJ Superstar.The climbing down 6 stories contributed to the massive abdominal cramp I got just before choir started.Could hardly walk,felt dizzy,it hurt when I breathed.You can almost imagine how much I suffered.I felt so terrible,I almost gave up on recovering in time for the auditions.However,I knew I had to go for the auditions if I wanted to sing in SYF,so I asked Amanda if I could grab a bite because I hadn't had lunch and was feeling dizzy.She said yes,so I took the sausage roll thingy that mom bought the day before,and sat outside the room eating it.Thankfully,there was a tall stool there beside the shoe rack for me to sit on.I did,and I had to cling onto the shoe rack with one arm to keep myself from falling.I ate with the other hand.
I started to get better as my tummy filled up with food.I didn't have time for lunch before IJ Superstar lah. It still hurt a bit by the time I went in,but I was much much better than before,so I went to sit with my group and got ready for the auditions.
Somehow I still felt so scared from the IJ Superstar experience,I didn't feel nervous about the choir SYF auditions at all!I just sorta breezed through it.Surprisingly,my group sounded pretty good.We sounded confident.At least in tune.Some groups ended on really terrible chords.
Anxiety can destroy a lot of things,I've learnt.
I've also learnt never to miss lunch before doing something that requires a lot of courage.

3) PFT (5 Items)
Another accomplishment!Last year,I was so mad at myself when I only got Gold 28 points.I've been getting that for years now,I don't want to sustain,I want to improve,so I really pushed myself to the limit this time.I made sure I planned my time properly.My class' slot was at 4pm,we had to assemble in the hall at 3.45pm.We ended lessons at 1.35pm.I really took my time.Had lunch,then went up to class to waste some time for the food to digest.I had a lor mai kai,a white lotus paste pau,and an orange for lunch.I was the lame person who passed time by changing the words that were written on the board by Mr Fausta Tan when he came in for SS lesson before.It was some stuff about "Healthcare in S'pore",and there was a lot of stuff about that written on it.We did a draft on answering the question.I changed the topic on the board to "Hathcae in pore",whatever that is/was.I just had to entertain myself.
At around 3.15pm,the people who were in class got stretching.I stretched and stretched and stretched.I couldn't afford to miss an A in "Sit and Reach" by 0.5cm again.What's worse is that last year I was younger so I had less to reach A.This year's is increased by a few cm.I had to reach 45cm.Stretched until it felt so easy to reach so far forward I couldn't bend anymore.Hurt,but I forced myself.My aim was to get an A in every item so I could get 30 points Gold,including my 2.4km.Then,we ran around the 3rd level once,and then went to the hall.
First station was sit-ups.I managed 40 in a minute,darn.Shall aim for 50 next year.One second is clearly enough for a sit-up.
I can't remember what came next,it was all a blur,so I'll just type out what I got.Managed to reach 49cm for "Sit and Reach",185cm for Standing Broad Jump,11.25 seconds for Shuttle Run (I hate that),and 29 for Inclined Pull-ups.I improved from 27,which was all I managed to do last year,but somehow it wasn't as satisfying as I hoped.I need to get into the 50 push-ups-a-day routine again soon.
I got all As,and it was all just such a beautiful blur.I was so happy.Then I walked to class to pack my bag,ready to go home.Watched the Guitar Ensemble play for awhile.I reached level 1 after climbing down the stairs,suddenly felt really terrible.
Went into the chapel,cried and cried.