Monday, 31st May 2010

I. Am. Freaking. Out.

Here I am at the TP library. I awoke to the darkness of 6 this morning, half-stoned and anxious. I had been tossing and turning the whole night through, and it didn't help that the air-conditioner in our room broke down in the middle of the night. I felt so warm, but was way too tired to get up and turn on the fan.
Now, you can imagine.

I utilised my time on the bus and memorised my Inorganic & Physical Chem (PIPC) formulae. I went through all I've done, and still I'm nervous. The other kids know some things I don't, like the formulae for certain compounds. They don't teach you that here. It was Secondary School Chemistry. I'm just nervous about the drawing of diagrams to show how bonding occurs. Gonna ask someone about it later.

I got to school pretty early, before 8am, even after walking through Bedok Reservoir Park and through the school. I couldn't believe my luck, but then this dull, throbbing headache came along. It's still here now. Methinks taking Panadol would affect my performance or memory somehow.

Why don't I trust myself? Why should I be nervous?
My conductor once told us, "Give it everything you've got, then your audience can't ask any more from you."

So. Give it everything I've got, then nobody can ask any more from me, even myself.
No "what-ifs", no "buts".
Go for it.