I want to. Sigh. I didn't really have a bad day. It was okay. Haha.I'm listening to Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson.Ever since I came back,I felt sad.I mean like...Everyone around me is so grumpy.No smiling or whatever.The only person actually smiling is my sister.Everything else is so gloomy.It rained today too.Horrible.The good thing is that I had Kenny Rogers for lunch,at East Coast.Mom and dad didn't want to have Kenny Rogers so they had curry instead,at some stall opposite us.Like,ew.Oh wells.Gotta meet Brandy soon to pass her some stuff and catch up.Gotta go out with Dels after school to catch up too.Haven't gone out with her for a long time...She's always out with other people...And Gina might not be free after school too.I really miss Mel.Sigh.Shintaro.J.......,Jared.I feel so out of place here in Singapore.I don't fit in!Everybody is so boring over here.No life whatsoever.Just lying around and rotting.No smiling...Sigh.I miss those days when Dels,Gina,Mel,Sara,and I went out after school to have lunch.Now it seems that none of them want to do that anymore.Its as if there's no more connection.I really feel like going back to the past.My friends are all over the place.Its not the same as before.I feel like no one can hear me anymore.Sigh.Thank goodness Brandy still bothers to sms me.Ha!
Rabbit seems bored too.Poor guy.I miss my past.I miss those days.I miss them all.I miss Melanie.I miss..I miss..I don't know.I even miss those whom I used to hate.Its so sad.I miss school.I miss all my teachers.I miss choir.I miss.I miss.Hammie.Sigh.I remember so clearly.I don't want to remember.About 3 years ago.I don't want to remember.But I know she's in Heaven now.I don't have to worry.I won't forget all the ones that I love.Sigh.I want to go back into the past,before she died,before everything happened,then maybe she wouldn't have died that way,maybe I wouldn't have been forced to quit Gym in pri 2,then having to join again in pri 4.Maybe I could have joined choir right from the start.Maybe I didn't have to quit playing the piano.Maybe I could have stayed happy.Maybe I could have made my parents stay happy all their lives,not grumpy old people.Maybe I should have never been alive.I love all my friends.
Love them all forever,always in my memories. Love,Xiulin. *
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