Its the first day of school.
It was totally horrible.
I entered the classroom of 2/5...I was late.It was so horrible.The teacher asked me why was I late...and I said it was because I stayed up half the night. Then she asked why,and I had to tell her "because my pet died".
IT WAS SO HORRIBLE.There I was,fighting to hold back the tears.
Then she asked me to go sit down.And I did.
and guess what? Dels said the day before she was gonna sit with me.And then I saw her sitting with gina at the back.It was so horrible.And I felt frozen,under the fan.I had my jacket on,but it wasn't helping.I felt so hurt.The night before I got scolded by my dad.And this morning before going to school too.I had a horrible day in school,I tell you.Everyone was so different.But our form teacher was nice,really.She kinds of understands us.And we got Mrs Chiam as our chinese teacher.Again.We were happy,but I dun think she was.I kinda feel sorry for her.Anyways Mrs Tan talked about ACSB and memories came back to me.I hated those memories.I wanna forget them,but I can't seem to.Maybe I dun want to.There's something inside me that tells me its gna take a very long time.And..I still love him.For some reason I don't know.But its over now. sigh.
I saw it die.The hamster.It was so sad.I could see its tears.And it was heaving and heaving,then it had to try so hard to breathe.It suffered so much.So I told myself that if it din die by 2am,I had to make it.I couldn't let it suffer for the whole night till morning.But then again I din have to kill it.It died.I knew that it died cos its little heart stopped beating.And it got stiff quite fast.
(I dun wanna go into details what I did.)
Then,I put it in a little box and wrapped it with a cloth,then threw it down the bin.It was 2 am,what could I do?I din want it to decompose.So I said another prayer,then threw it down the bin.I was crying like crazy.I saw it die.Was I the one who has caused its death?Why did I let it? Because it was suffering,or because I was tired and selfish? I couldn't sleep the whole remaining night,asking myself these questions over and over again.So I was kinda listless in school.sigh.
My life is another sad case.I'll stop here for now.Bye everybody.Love u all. -Xiu :(
1 comment:
Hey dearie...
Sorry to hear about the hamster's death... I know it can't be easy for you, especially as you had to watch it die. Sorry I couldn't be there with you this time...
But I want you to remember that it's nobody's fault that it died, least of all yours. In fact, the best gift you could have given to the hamster was to be there with it in its last moments. It had a good long life, and I'm sure you looked after it the best you could. It's just a pity that pets only have such a short lifespan in comparison to humans, and just when we're getting really attached to them, they're at the end of their lives.
As I've said before with Hammie, the hamster is only leaving its empty shell of a body to go to somewhere better -- heaven. And there, it will be eternally happy, free from the confines of mortality. You did the right thing by just being there for it, for looking after it the best as you could. Now, remember the happy memories it brought you. Remember the good things, and the bad will eventually fade away with time, as with anything else in life.
Love ya dearie
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