Hey there people..Im typing this for last night.Coz last night when I typed finish,my internet connection cut off..and its a lil screwy..so I couldn't save what I typed..It was about my day yesterday..and well,it definately wasn't a good one.It hurt alot.I cried too much.
So we had to go to this retreat thingy..and a group of Christ believers came to our school,specially trained for young people.so then they were talking talking..then they switched off the lights..and suddenly started talking about fathers.dads.and the guy said "think about the good things he did for you." and he started naming them..assuming again. and I thought "why couldn't I have a nice dad too?" so I just broke down and cried..and I couldn't stop.haiz so sad.then whats more..I dunno...then when I eventually stopped crying..my eyes hurt so much I had to blink alot..and they were kinda red too.and everyone was just asking if I was ok..and I just cried again.it was just so awful.they kept reminding me.I have a feeling ms wan had something to do with them talking about fathers.haiz it was so awful..then that night I went home..and got scolded by my mom (also got anger contorl problem one) and she scold like hell.and then I got so mad...my dad even had to be the damn extra and sided my mom.and they both scolded me. when i din do a heck wrong! WHAT DID I DO.and I went to my room and cried and cried and cried.and I had a little word with God..and I asked him "why did I have such a horrible father..why am I here on Earth?"I mean its like..The world wouldn't be any different with or without me right? I din do anything for the world..except donate for charities of course.other than that..I think its all...sigh.I just cried it all out la k.hiding in my room with music playing..yea sigh.poor me..and my parents? still outside happily gossiping about me wtf.they really no damn feeling one la.I had no problem sleeping last night too coz I simply cried myself to sleep.yea sorta.sighhh okies will end here for yesterday's post kk.see ya guys.
1 comment:
You're on earth, you're in this world, because you have a lot to give. I will always love you, and I want you to remember that you're a wonderful gift to me and to this world. You're an intelligent, sensitive, sensible young lady, who's always generous and giving. You're MY gift to this world, and I love you.
Love, Jie
P/s: I had a really similar experience when i was in Primary 5, but it was about Mums instead of Dads. Tell you more later :)
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